»o1. YOUR STITCHES ARE ALL OUT (but your scars are healing wrong) || post-reichenbach sherlock/john
[album art by the stunning xxxxxx6x!!]
you once had a dream of a man
he was scarred and he was broken and he was
so beautiful
Spark // Tori Amos .o1
she's addicted to nicotine patches .
she's afraid of the light in the dark .
6:58 are you sure where my spark is .
you don't want it, you don't need it
it's nothing but a weakness to you
(god, you need it)
Satellite Mind // Metric .o2
i'm not suicidal, i just can't get out of bed .
i drift into a deep fog, lost where i forgot to hold it .
i can feel you most when i'm alone .
i can feel your ghost when i'm alone .
there's something strange about this old house
you don't like to think about it but when you sleep, you can feel him
("hello," he says)
(hello, hello, hello, can you hear me now?)
"john?"
Cheap And Cheerful // The Kills .o3
i'm bored of cheap and cheerful .
i want expensive sadness .
you can almost see the frown on his face as you twirl the syringe in your hands
("no," he says)
"yes," you say, and it takes you a while to realise
you're talking to an empty room
you close your eyes and breathe in deep
and your next breath is laced with cocaine
"sorry," you say
silence
Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl // Broken Social Scene .o4
used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that .
now you're all gone, got your makeup on and you're not coming back .
if you try hard enough, you can feel his fingers through your hair
hear him whisper to you as he gathers you into his arms
you don't need to remind yourself that he's not really there
instead you curl into yourself even further
and pretend he can hear you
(john, john, john, john)
("sherlock?")
Rolling Girl // Vocaloid .o5
[instrumental ♪] .
you see him, sometimes
but even you understand that it's not really him - not
your army doctor -
so you watch and you wait and, as cliché as it is,
you hope, just a little bit,
that he might realise it's you
Don't Wake Me Up // The Hush Sound .o6
don't wake me up, death is misleading .
and when i fall asleep, i sleep with a ghost .
that song again in the alleyway takes you back to him
you don't want to leave, you can't leave, not yet--
not when you finally have him in your arms again--
you shudder awake and it's gone
(he's gone)
what were you dreaming of?
One More Time With Feeling // Regina Spektor .o7
hold on! one more time with feeling .
try it again, breathing's just a rhythm .
say it in your mind until you know that the words are right .
this is why we fight .
you like to think he might be happy to see you
but he doesn't know you (exist), doesn't exist himself--
(yes he does)
(yes I do)
not that it matters, you remind yourself
and you hum along to the click and whirrs of the machines around you
Help, I'm Alive (80Kidz Remix) // Metric .o8
come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train .
help i'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer .
each breath that travels through you is a blessing and curse
you pick yourself up and refuse to think about him
(when you sleep, you see him again
sore and scarred and bruised and he looks so
perfect)
you once had a dream of a man
he was gorgeous and he was real and he
hurt so much
o1. Akira Yamaoka // Promise (Reprise)
. [instrumental ♪]
you recall hushed whispers in your ear
and secrets traced on your skin
you don't know who this man is
(you don't remember who this man is?)
but you think you made a promise to meet him again
o2. Tori Amos // Wednesday
. no one's at the door
. you suggest a ghost, perhaps a phantom
. i agree with this in part
your every step feels wrong, feels like deja vu
(another time, another life)
it seeps through your skin and into the air and
it makes you see him lounging on your sofa
"tea?" you ask
you turn, and he's gone
o3. Of Monsters And Men // Little Talks
. i don't like walking around this old and empty house
. (so hold my hand, i'll walk with you my dear)
you keep waking up at night, in the early morning
to the sound of a violin filtering through the hall
you panic then you relax and you fall asleep again
(you dream of blue and white and red--)
o4. Imogen Heap // Speeding Cars
. here's the day you hoped would never come
. don't feed me violence, just run
. with me through rows of speeding cars
you remember-- god, do you remember
and it slams into you with all the force
of a speeding truck, forcing you to double over and catch your breath--
you remember his eyes and his hands and god,
the feel of his breath against yours--
more than anything, you remember the feel of him
disappearing
o5. Couer de Pirate // Fondu Au Noir
. (translation:)
. and if it hurts, it's because he doesn't understand
. that nothing has swum in your heart for so long
. and if it hurts, it's because he doesn't see you
. while your smile will eventually fade away
it hurts, a little bit, to see him and remember him when he--
well, he doesn't see you at all
(wrong time, wrong place, everything is wrong)
you sigh and work your 9-to-5 day
and you don't even think of him once
(you don't stop thinking of him once)
o6. Bloc Party // Signs
. i see signs now all the time that you're not dead, you're sleeping
. i believe in anything that brings you back home to me
you start seeing him everywhere
in the streets and in the underground and in your arms--
you think you might be going crazy
(you wouldn't mind going crazy)
o7. Imogen Heap // Half Life
. my self-worth measured in text-back tempo
. it's been two days and eight minutes too slow
you're always running, these days
running away from your life and running towards him
run as fast as you can, you'll never get there in time
(you have to get there, before--)
you catch a glimpse of him around the corner
but then you're there and he isn't
not anymore
o8. X-Ray Dog // Breathing Space
. [instrumental ♪]
sometimes you just need a little time for breathing
(remember it goes in and out and in and out--
your breath catches and your chest heaves and god,
you can't--
how do you breathe again?
calm down john, breathe, breathe--
"john?")
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