It Gets Better

[ganimede]

I was catching up on my feeds on Google Reader just now as I do every Sunday. One of the feeds is from the GLAAD blog, all the news and media announcements from GLAAD (the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). One of the major pieces of news on there this week is that in September, four young lads, aged between 13 and 18, killed themselves

Comments

[ftmichael]

*nods a lot at this* I had the same reaction. It just sounds so incredibly condescending, and if you're already suicidal it's really not likely to help - and could potentially make things worse. It's wonderful for you if things got better and you're happy now, but for a suicidal teen, that means you live in a completely different world than theirs. They have problems now and the whole point of being suicidal is that 'just hanging on' does not feel possible. I was a suicidal teen and the idea that things might improve someday was enough to keep me hanging on, but I think I'm in the minority on that and I would never project that onto someone else. And if adults had told me 'hang on, it gets better', I would have felt wicked patronised and like they had no idea what they were talking about and clearly had no concept of what my life was like or how I was feeling.

It does feel like people are jumping onto this bandwagon so they can make themselves feel better - I'm sure their hearts are in the right place and they're hoping it'll make a difference, but all it'll really do is make them feel like they've done something to help. It won't actually help much, if at all. It's just so easy to pat someone on the head and say 'it'll all be okay, resources will be made accessible to you in X number of years so just suck it up and deal until then' and go on your merry way as if that made their problems somehow less, while they sit there with all the same problems, plus a heap of patronising bullshit added on top, as well as a sense that adults aren't taking their problems seriously and therefore will not listen if they ask for real help - and that there are no resources out there for them anyway, only for adults.

If people want to do something that takes minimal effort and will be far more likely to help, they should send a donation to an organisation like The Trevor Project (or whatever the equivalent is in their part of the world - The Trevor Project is a national US organisation). Even very small donations add up. If they want to do something other than donate money, they should donate time and energy, as you said. Call your local organisation(s) and say you'd like to volunteer. They will be very happy to have your help and you will be far more likely to touch (and maybe save) real lives than if you put out an 'it gets better' message.