Top Surgery anniversary
Today marks two years since I had top surgery. I can't believe that it's been two years already. My chest looks great, the scars have faded so much and in some places they're not visible at all. There's sensation over a good percentage of it, even on some parts of my scars though that feels mostly tickly, and my nipples can feel pressure and some touch too. It's now getting liberally decorated with hair which started growing along the scars, then round the nipples and is now bridging the gap between the two. The right side has more hair than the left which is a little bizarre. I'm not keen on it at all, and I really hoped that I wouldn't get any chest hair until I'd been on T for a lot longer than this but I'm going to have to get used to it really. There's not that much yet, so hopefully it's going to be a slow gradual process there.
I still think about how amazing it is that I have a flat chest and I think it's going to be a long while before I stop appreciating it. I have a tendency to admire it in the mirror before I have a shower - our bathroom has a wall covered with mirror tiles - and when you shower every day, that's a lot of time spent admiring it! That makes me sound horrendously vain, but it's not that at all, it's trying to get used to the idea of finally being able to look my chest in the eye. So to speak. I'm making the most of being able to do that now, and catching up on all the time spend avoiding looking at it. I'm still really shy about other people seeing my chest though which is probably mostly down to female-programming combined with spending several years not being able to stand looking at it myself, never mind have other people see it.
When I think about how absolutely petrified I was by the idea of surgery and how tightly I was holding on to Michael's hand in the taxi on the way to the surgery centre, I'm still overwhelmed by the fact that I managed to go through with it. A lot of that is due to Michael, he was such a rock and was so calm throughout the whole thing. He looked after me so well afterwards too. I don't remember a lot about it thanks to all the lovely drugs I had which is really quite a shame. It doesn't make me appreciate it any less though.
So. Wow, two years already. It's also two years since Michael and I got together. Two of the best decisions I ever made.
I still think about how amazing it is that I have a flat chest and I think it's going to be a long while before I stop appreciating it. I have a tendency to admire it in the mirror before I have a shower - our bathroom has a wall covered with mirror tiles - and when you shower every day, that's a lot of time spent admiring it! That makes me sound horrendously vain, but it's not that at all, it's trying to get used to the idea of finally being able to look my chest in the eye. So to speak. I'm making the most of being able to do that now, and catching up on all the time spend avoiding looking at it. I'm still really shy about other people seeing my chest though which is probably mostly down to female-programming combined with spending several years not being able to stand looking at it myself, never mind have other people see it.
When I think about how absolutely petrified I was by the idea of surgery and how tightly I was holding on to Michael's hand in the taxi on the way to the surgery centre, I'm still overwhelmed by the fact that I managed to go through with it. A lot of that is due to Michael, he was such a rock and was so calm throughout the whole thing. He looked after me so well afterwards too. I don't remember a lot about it thanks to all the lovely drugs I had which is really quite a shame. It doesn't make me appreciate it any less though.
So. Wow, two years already. It's also two years since Michael and I got together. Two of the best decisions I ever made.