umm yeah no shit its not just like i can just quit. fucking quiting smoking is a lot harder than u think its not like i want to smoke and not go out with her i love her more than any thing and it sucks to know that i am slowly fucking up. u make it seem like i dont care if i do something like smoke. thats y i feel bad! if i do something like that i cant get over it and i think about it alot and i never want to do it again but it keeps fucking happining. yeah i have fucking changed and maybe u dont see it but still i have. i could type a fucking whole list of shit but no. i dont want to smoke i dont want to be a fuck up but thats how it is right now and i am tring to get myself out of this and it takes a bit. u dont understand its like i dont choose to smoke i need to. but i am trying to get over it. nvm that i was not trying to blame anything on u i was just saying that it sucks. she said that she is not mad so if that is true than its all good. yes i have learned my lession and i am trying to fix it. by the way i have quit i went from a pack a day of fucking reds to one ultra light a week to none. yeah its known fact that quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin so yeah i think that i am doing fucking great and to her and every one its like bad as fuck. but fuck it i am over it we need to chill are grams damn b. peace
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