The Perfect song for my current mood
Wish I was too dead to cry,
the self-affliction fades,
stones to throw at my creator,
Masochist to which I cater.
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed i cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
Wish I died instead of lived
The zombie hides my face
Shelf forgotten with its memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I’ll never look down my deceits
------------------------------
Last week would have been my first anniversary of being with Angel. Ive spent alot of time looking at myself. Am i better without her? Am i better off in the long run being what I am now? Sadly I didnt like the answers I came up with. If Angel came to me tommorrow I would let her heap the abuse back on me for the chance to be with her again. To kiss her lips, to feel her warm body against mine as I slept. Im so lonely now and I dont know what to do anymore. I hate myself for what I am, for my choices Ive made and most of all for not being the man I should be.
the self-affliction fades,
stones to throw at my creator,
Masochist to which I cater.
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed i cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
Wish I died instead of lived
The zombie hides my face
Shelf forgotten with its memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I’ll never look down my deceits
------------------------------
Last week would have been my first anniversary of being with Angel. Ive spent alot of time looking at myself. Am i better without her? Am i better off in the long run being what I am now? Sadly I didnt like the answers I came up with. If Angel came to me tommorrow I would let her heap the abuse back on me for the chance to be with her again. To kiss her lips, to feel her warm body against mine as I slept. Im so lonely now and I dont know what to do anymore. I hate myself for what I am, for my choices Ive made and most of all for not being the man I should be.