[on hand]
See I knew this girl named Adrina Onlad, and she was real oddlike.
She had these real pretty blue eyes, and this friendly hair.
She was skinny, not like starvin' like, but, she wasn't fat like I always was. She was just petite. Petite with long arms and fingers.
So anyway, this girl she was real neat and she didn't always have somethin' to say but she liked to sing. She liked music a lot, and she would sit down in a chair and strum on her guitar. She was real neat.
One time I was ridin' in the car with this friend I got, and Adrina was in the car in front of us and she kept movin her head back and stuff and I noticed this and I said, "Is she singin?"
"Hell yes she is." Said this friend and I couldn't help but smile, because even though that girl didn't always have somethin' to say, I bet she could always have somethin' to sing.
Well this Adrina she was half crazy sometimes, and even though I'm pretty psychotic myself most of the time, her oddity even baffles me, sometimes. Just sometimes, but, not in a bad way. You know, she ain't like... you know... eatin' her feet crazy. Nuthouse crazy. She's just silly crazy and, sometimes, it's real odd because she could go a long time without sayin' too much and then she will come out of nowhere and say somethin' real odd and make me laugh real hard and stuff.
She ain't never known that, but she makes me smile right well most of the time.
So this one time we were sittin on this fallen tree in the middle of BFE woods, and my fingers were fiddling with the soft moss, and I was thinkin' real hard about something. I do that sometimes. I'll get in a trance, you know, with thinkin'. I'll go on lookin' around and stuff, but I'm not really paying any attention to anything my eyes are seein'.
So this moss was real soft, and I liked it. But my mind was elsewhere. You know, I was thinkin', one day we will all be just a faded picture. One day I'll be one of those ol' black and whites of the past that you stare at and wonder what life was like back then. One day, I thought, this moss won't even matter. Hell, one day, maybe, there might not even be moss on this Earth. One day everything I know will be buried in some way, and the people in the future will wonder what life was like for me.
That moss made me think for a damned long while until Adrina asked me what I was thinkin' about like she always does. I told her I didn't know. Which wasn't a full lie. She smiled all pretty like, like she always does, which is, of course, contagious, so I smiled and I realized that I never felt so damned relaxed.
I hated my smile though, and always felt so nervous and self conscious. That's the thing. I can't ever be fully comfortable anywhere because I'm so damned unhappy with the way that I look. I'm big and awkward and clumsy, and I know my face looks real stupid half the time and I don't talk real smart. I feel real stupid most of the time, but not around Adrina because I know she don't care how I look. I mean, I still feel self conscious around her real bad, but I can't help that, but I'm never really nervous or afraid that she's thinkin about how ugly I am like I am with other people, even though she's a lot prettier.
So she's real nice and so I feel real good about myself when I'm with her, but she ain't never known that.
She had these real pretty blue eyes, and this friendly hair.
She was skinny, not like starvin' like, but, she wasn't fat like I always was. She was just petite. Petite with long arms and fingers.
So anyway, this girl she was real neat and she didn't always have somethin' to say but she liked to sing. She liked music a lot, and she would sit down in a chair and strum on her guitar. She was real neat.
One time I was ridin' in the car with this friend I got, and Adrina was in the car in front of us and she kept movin her head back and stuff and I noticed this and I said, "Is she singin?"
"Hell yes she is." Said this friend and I couldn't help but smile, because even though that girl didn't always have somethin' to say, I bet she could always have somethin' to sing.
Well this Adrina she was half crazy sometimes, and even though I'm pretty psychotic myself most of the time, her oddity even baffles me, sometimes. Just sometimes, but, not in a bad way. You know, she ain't like... you know... eatin' her feet crazy. Nuthouse crazy. She's just silly crazy and, sometimes, it's real odd because she could go a long time without sayin' too much and then she will come out of nowhere and say somethin' real odd and make me laugh real hard and stuff.
She ain't never known that, but she makes me smile right well most of the time.
So this one time we were sittin on this fallen tree in the middle of BFE woods, and my fingers were fiddling with the soft moss, and I was thinkin' real hard about something. I do that sometimes. I'll get in a trance, you know, with thinkin'. I'll go on lookin' around and stuff, but I'm not really paying any attention to anything my eyes are seein'.
So this moss was real soft, and I liked it. But my mind was elsewhere. You know, I was thinkin', one day we will all be just a faded picture. One day I'll be one of those ol' black and whites of the past that you stare at and wonder what life was like back then. One day, I thought, this moss won't even matter. Hell, one day, maybe, there might not even be moss on this Earth. One day everything I know will be buried in some way, and the people in the future will wonder what life was like for me.
That moss made me think for a damned long while until Adrina asked me what I was thinkin' about like she always does. I told her I didn't know. Which wasn't a full lie. She smiled all pretty like, like she always does, which is, of course, contagious, so I smiled and I realized that I never felt so damned relaxed.
I hated my smile though, and always felt so nervous and self conscious. That's the thing. I can't ever be fully comfortable anywhere because I'm so damned unhappy with the way that I look. I'm big and awkward and clumsy, and I know my face looks real stupid half the time and I don't talk real smart. I feel real stupid most of the time, but not around Adrina because I know she don't care how I look. I mean, I still feel self conscious around her real bad, but I can't help that, but I'm never really nervous or afraid that she's thinkin about how ugly I am like I am with other people, even though she's a lot prettier.
So she's real nice and so I feel real good about myself when I'm with her, but she ain't never known that.