☢ FIC ⇝ God, Tony, why so douchey. 8\
Title: -TBA-
Author: fribbled
Word Count: 1519
Rating: PG-13
CHARACTERS: Tony Stark ; Nick Fury ; Steve Rogers ; Janet van Dyne; Thor ; Hank Pym ; Bruce Banner
Warnings: Some language, Tony being a dick, lots of run-on mental narrative side trips, Tony possibly getting backhanded through a building again... Same old, same old.
Summary/Description: The (first of possibly many?) sequel to this fic. More insights on just how a bunch of weirdos in spandex got together to become Earth's mightiest heroes without killing each other in the process. Probably going to be switching between Tony's and Bruce's POV, as they are my favorites.
Also, and totally unrelated, I still can't see Chris Evans as Captain America. Sigh.
-❖-❖-❖-
There’s a ridiculous amount of paperwork to go through before the first official meeting actually happens - Tony’s just glad he had it all set in motion right after his first impromptu little meeting with Fury, because he doesn’t even want to think about how long it would have taken otherwise. Just deciding where the headquarters was going to be ended up being a massive debate - Tony argued that he’s already got loads of Los Angeles property they could retrofit but Fury put his foot down because apparently S.H.I.E.L.D. had its little, paramilitary heart set on this mansion on Fifth Avenue (even though Tony complains loudly and often about his commute). So after a number of zoning and construction permits and ridiculous amounts of construction done on the thing, Avengers’ Mansion is finally cleared for the team to move in, and Tony pats himself on the back when he gets the memo for it a few days after they’ve gotten Banner signed on.
Tony grabs the penthouse apartment, just for the sake of principle, because he has no intention whatsoever of actually sleeping at this place unless every other penthouse apartment he has in much more stylish skyscrapers across Manhattan gets demolished. Pym grabs a modest bedroom on the second floor, which of course means Jan takes the one right next to it much to Pym’s discomfiture. It takes some arguing with Thor that yes, you have to pick a room even though we all know you have the whole of Asgard to crash in so for the love of god would you stop being such a drama queen about it. Steve just shrugs and says whichever one nobody else wants is fine for him. Tony doesn’t give Banner a choice, assigning him to the specially built mini-apartment five stories below the building. He doesn’t tell the guy that the whole thing is rigged with more sedative gasses just in case - he knows that Banner knows, and saying anything would just insult the man’s intelligence.
After a few days to let everyone settle in properly, Tony sends out the memo for their first real meeting. He tells Pepper to cancel all other plans for that day, and gets there ten minutes before it’s set to start. A portion of his brain is still on just what he’d do to Obadiah if he wasn’t already dead because between his ex-lieutenant’s smear campaign and the crap the government’s putting him through over Iron Man, Tony’s barely hanging onto his own company by the skin of his teeth and Pepper’s sheer ability to juggle fifteen corporate chainsaws at once. As he strolls through the double doors into the conference room, he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised to see Steve there already.
“Suppose you’ve already made a killing out of those worms, early birdie?” Tony says, making his way to the head of the table and pocketing his Bulgari sunglasses.
Steve shrugs, his face an impassively polite mask. “Just felt like taking a walk this morning, Mr. Stark. It’s been a while since I was last in New York City.”
“…Yeah huh,” is all Tony can say to that. He often finds himself at a loss for words when talking to Cap - but he’s saved from any really awkward silences as the rest of the team rolls in and Jan fills the room with her vibrant chitchat in no time. Tony’s just about to call things to order before he notices something off. There’s the odd feeling of missing- and aha.
Banner tries to slip in the door as unobtrusively as possible, only to find everyone else already seated and staring at him. Tony arches an eyebrow and smirks as he slides into the closest available seat, and opens his mouth to let loose a scathing quip but Jan beats him to the punch. She positively jumps up and flits over, beaming her 400 watt smile and immediately starts in on him.
“Oh, Dr. Banner! It’s so good to see you, we were so worried about you after that little tussle in Canada, you just looked so tuckered out-“ The reaction to her little welcoming committee efforts are mixed: Steve and Hank smile politely, while Thor and Tony just roll their eyes. Bruce, for his part, looks to be completely bewildered while Jan steamrolls him with niceties. He clears his throat a few times before Jan actually hears it and stops.
“Uh, I’m sorry, miss,” Banner says timidly, “I mean. I appreciate the whole… Thing and all, so please don’t take any offense, but. Do I know you?”
Jan pouts mockingly, even as her pretty forehead wrinkles in confusion. “Why, I’m almost insulted, Dr. Banner, and after our lovely conversation! I’ve been called a number of things, but forgettable is hardly one of them.”
Tony can practically hear the alarm bells going off in the back of his head - he’s relatively sure where this is going, and he’s absolutely positive that he’s not going to like it. Not one bit.
Bruce just shakes his head, apology written in every line of his face. “No, I’m sure I would remember you, I mean. I have a good memory for faces, and you’re certainly striking enough, in a good way, of course, but, well. It’s not just you, I haven’t met anyone here,” he says as he manages a nervous little wave at the rest of the table. When he lays eyes on Tony, the apology vanishes, to be replaced by no small amount of dislike. “Except, of course, Mr. Stark.”
Steve’s gaze fixes on Tony even as he speaks to Dr. Banner. “You mean to say,” he says slowly, deliberately, “that you don’t recall meeting anyone here before flying back with us to California?”
It doesn’t take Banner long before he figures it out, and his mouth presses into a thin, grim line. “…You all fought it,” he states rather than asks, raking a hand through his hair. Then, quietly, “I’m sorry, but. I rarely recall anything that happens during one of my episodes, and even then it’s all… Piecemeal. Fragments.” He takes a deep breath before looking at everyone but Tony. “If it hurt any of you, I’m…” He hangs his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“So you’re saying you have no control over the Hulk?” Pym asks, incredulous. “None whatsoever? Then wh-“
“Excuse me, sorry,” Banner interrupts, shame giving way to more confusion. “What’s a hulk and why would I b-“ A beat, and Tony swears he can hear the click of the cogs in Banner’s head. “Is that what you’ve been calling it? The Hulk? What kind of name is th-“ He’s staring at Tony as if he’s grown a second head. “…The Hulk?” he repeats, radiating sheer disbelief.
“Technically, the Incredible Hulk,” Tony confirms with a nod. “Why, were you aiming for something a little more exotic? Pretty sure Fabio’s already been copyrighted. Them’s the breaks, kiddo.”
Banner buries his head in his hands as Janet pats him on the back, consoling him that in her opinion at least, the Incredible Hulk was a rather good name. But Pym gets right back on track. “Like I was saying before, if you can’t control it, why did you agree to be an Avenger?” Thor nods, also curious as to the answer, and Steve still has Tony pinned with his eyes.
Even muffled by his hands, Banner’s barked laugh is still hollow enough it deserves its own echo. “I didn’t agree to anything,” he says, even as Tony rolls his eyes.
“Oh, quit the melodramatic bullshit already,” he retorts as he ignores the way Steve’s trying to stare a hole into his Armani suit. “I gave you your options, you picked this, minor details can be worked out later. You want to reintroduce yourself to everybody, do it later at the water cooler.” Tony shuffles through the various files Fury handed him earlier, and remembers why he prefers to have Pepper do these things and report to him later. “Anywho, first order of busine- Uh, Cap?“
But Steve is already out of his seat and walking over to Banner, where he sticks his hand out with that reassuring smile on his face. “Steve Rogers, son. Nice to meet you.”
Bruce, who had sunk back into his chair once Tony started talking, straightens up a little and gingerly shakes hands with the blond. “…Likewise,” he replies politely. Steve then goes on to introduce the rest of the team, with the notable exception of Tony.
“And we’re all glad to have you with us here,” he says in that tone of voice that triple dog dares you to doubt its sincerity. “We could certainly use the hand around here.” Then he smiles (and even though he’s damned tempted to clobber the guy with his own shield, Tony has to suppress the urge to smile along with him) and returns to his seat. Tony debates saying something, but figures to take the higher road and just get this meeting over with.
Certainly an auspicious enough beginning, he thinks to himself as he opens the first folder.
-❖-❖-❖-
WORK IN PROGRESS, I'll update as I get more sections done. Good god, I hate writing dialog for people besides Tony and Bruce because I am sooooo not as familiar with them. I NEED MORE MOVIES, MARVEL. Oh, and concrit from any kind people reading this would be fabulous. ♥
Author: fribbled
Word Count: 1519
Rating: PG-13
CHARACTERS: Tony Stark ; Nick Fury ; Steve Rogers ; Janet van Dyne; Thor ; Hank Pym ; Bruce Banner
Warnings: Some language, Tony being a dick, lots of run-on mental narrative side trips, Tony possibly getting backhanded through a building again... Same old, same old.
Summary/Description: The (first of possibly many?) sequel to this fic. More insights on just how a bunch of weirdos in spandex got together to become Earth's mightiest heroes without killing each other in the process. Probably going to be switching between Tony's and Bruce's POV, as they are my favorites.
Also, and totally unrelated, I still can't see Chris Evans as Captain America. Sigh.
-❖-❖-❖-
There’s a ridiculous amount of paperwork to go through before the first official meeting actually happens - Tony’s just glad he had it all set in motion right after his first impromptu little meeting with Fury, because he doesn’t even want to think about how long it would have taken otherwise. Just deciding where the headquarters was going to be ended up being a massive debate - Tony argued that he’s already got loads of Los Angeles property they could retrofit but Fury put his foot down because apparently S.H.I.E.L.D. had its little, paramilitary heart set on this mansion on Fifth Avenue (even though Tony complains loudly and often about his commute). So after a number of zoning and construction permits and ridiculous amounts of construction done on the thing, Avengers’ Mansion is finally cleared for the team to move in, and Tony pats himself on the back when he gets the memo for it a few days after they’ve gotten Banner signed on.
Tony grabs the penthouse apartment, just for the sake of principle, because he has no intention whatsoever of actually sleeping at this place unless every other penthouse apartment he has in much more stylish skyscrapers across Manhattan gets demolished. Pym grabs a modest bedroom on the second floor, which of course means Jan takes the one right next to it much to Pym’s discomfiture. It takes some arguing with Thor that yes, you have to pick a room even though we all know you have the whole of Asgard to crash in so for the love of god would you stop being such a drama queen about it. Steve just shrugs and says whichever one nobody else wants is fine for him. Tony doesn’t give Banner a choice, assigning him to the specially built mini-apartment five stories below the building. He doesn’t tell the guy that the whole thing is rigged with more sedative gasses just in case - he knows that Banner knows, and saying anything would just insult the man’s intelligence.
After a few days to let everyone settle in properly, Tony sends out the memo for their first real meeting. He tells Pepper to cancel all other plans for that day, and gets there ten minutes before it’s set to start. A portion of his brain is still on just what he’d do to Obadiah if he wasn’t already dead because between his ex-lieutenant’s smear campaign and the crap the government’s putting him through over Iron Man, Tony’s barely hanging onto his own company by the skin of his teeth and Pepper’s sheer ability to juggle fifteen corporate chainsaws at once. As he strolls through the double doors into the conference room, he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised to see Steve there already.
“Suppose you’ve already made a killing out of those worms, early birdie?” Tony says, making his way to the head of the table and pocketing his Bulgari sunglasses.
Steve shrugs, his face an impassively polite mask. “Just felt like taking a walk this morning, Mr. Stark. It’s been a while since I was last in New York City.”
“…Yeah huh,” is all Tony can say to that. He often finds himself at a loss for words when talking to Cap - but he’s saved from any really awkward silences as the rest of the team rolls in and Jan fills the room with her vibrant chitchat in no time. Tony’s just about to call things to order before he notices something off. There’s the odd feeling of missing- and aha.
Banner tries to slip in the door as unobtrusively as possible, only to find everyone else already seated and staring at him. Tony arches an eyebrow and smirks as he slides into the closest available seat, and opens his mouth to let loose a scathing quip but Jan beats him to the punch. She positively jumps up and flits over, beaming her 400 watt smile and immediately starts in on him.
“Oh, Dr. Banner! It’s so good to see you, we were so worried about you after that little tussle in Canada, you just looked so tuckered out-“ The reaction to her little welcoming committee efforts are mixed: Steve and Hank smile politely, while Thor and Tony just roll their eyes. Bruce, for his part, looks to be completely bewildered while Jan steamrolls him with niceties. He clears his throat a few times before Jan actually hears it and stops.
“Uh, I’m sorry, miss,” Banner says timidly, “I mean. I appreciate the whole… Thing and all, so please don’t take any offense, but. Do I know you?”
Jan pouts mockingly, even as her pretty forehead wrinkles in confusion. “Why, I’m almost insulted, Dr. Banner, and after our lovely conversation! I’ve been called a number of things, but forgettable is hardly one of them.”
Tony can practically hear the alarm bells going off in the back of his head - he’s relatively sure where this is going, and he’s absolutely positive that he’s not going to like it. Not one bit.
Bruce just shakes his head, apology written in every line of his face. “No, I’m sure I would remember you, I mean. I have a good memory for faces, and you’re certainly striking enough, in a good way, of course, but, well. It’s not just you, I haven’t met anyone here,” he says as he manages a nervous little wave at the rest of the table. When he lays eyes on Tony, the apology vanishes, to be replaced by no small amount of dislike. “Except, of course, Mr. Stark.”
Steve’s gaze fixes on Tony even as he speaks to Dr. Banner. “You mean to say,” he says slowly, deliberately, “that you don’t recall meeting anyone here before flying back with us to California?”
It doesn’t take Banner long before he figures it out, and his mouth presses into a thin, grim line. “…You all fought it,” he states rather than asks, raking a hand through his hair. Then, quietly, “I’m sorry, but. I rarely recall anything that happens during one of my episodes, and even then it’s all… Piecemeal. Fragments.” He takes a deep breath before looking at everyone but Tony. “If it hurt any of you, I’m…” He hangs his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“So you’re saying you have no control over the Hulk?” Pym asks, incredulous. “None whatsoever? Then wh-“
“Excuse me, sorry,” Banner interrupts, shame giving way to more confusion. “What’s a hulk and why would I b-“ A beat, and Tony swears he can hear the click of the cogs in Banner’s head. “Is that what you’ve been calling it? The Hulk? What kind of name is th-“ He’s staring at Tony as if he’s grown a second head. “…The Hulk?” he repeats, radiating sheer disbelief.
“Technically, the Incredible Hulk,” Tony confirms with a nod. “Why, were you aiming for something a little more exotic? Pretty sure Fabio’s already been copyrighted. Them’s the breaks, kiddo.”
Banner buries his head in his hands as Janet pats him on the back, consoling him that in her opinion at least, the Incredible Hulk was a rather good name. But Pym gets right back on track. “Like I was saying before, if you can’t control it, why did you agree to be an Avenger?” Thor nods, also curious as to the answer, and Steve still has Tony pinned with his eyes.
Even muffled by his hands, Banner’s barked laugh is still hollow enough it deserves its own echo. “I didn’t agree to anything,” he says, even as Tony rolls his eyes.
“Oh, quit the melodramatic bullshit already,” he retorts as he ignores the way Steve’s trying to stare a hole into his Armani suit. “I gave you your options, you picked this, minor details can be worked out later. You want to reintroduce yourself to everybody, do it later at the water cooler.” Tony shuffles through the various files Fury handed him earlier, and remembers why he prefers to have Pepper do these things and report to him later. “Anywho, first order of busine- Uh, Cap?“
But Steve is already out of his seat and walking over to Banner, where he sticks his hand out with that reassuring smile on his face. “Steve Rogers, son. Nice to meet you.”
Bruce, who had sunk back into his chair once Tony started talking, straightens up a little and gingerly shakes hands with the blond. “…Likewise,” he replies politely. Steve then goes on to introduce the rest of the team, with the notable exception of Tony.
“And we’re all glad to have you with us here,” he says in that tone of voice that triple dog dares you to doubt its sincerity. “We could certainly use the hand around here.” Then he smiles (and even though he’s damned tempted to clobber the guy with his own shield, Tony has to suppress the urge to smile along with him) and returns to his seat. Tony debates saying something, but figures to take the higher road and just get this meeting over with.
Certainly an auspicious enough beginning, he thinks to himself as he opens the first folder.
-❖-❖-❖-
WORK IN PROGRESS, I'll update as I get more sections done. Good god, I hate writing dialog for people besides Tony and Bruce because I am sooooo not as familiar with them. I NEED MORE MOVIES, MARVEL. Oh, and concrit from any kind people reading this would be fabulous. ♥