It'll take me a few tries to finish this,
So all you losers who compulsively sheck blogs every hour or two will be rewarded.
I has a piece of cheese, a pretzel, a handful of chow mein noodles, and a bowl of miso soup for lunch. It was excellent.
So, i was writing this entry last night as i go to sleep. I do that a lot. Or whenever anything happens, i write something about it in my head. Often in blog form, sometimes as an essay, sometimes as a letter, sometimes i make up songs. I do it all the time. I rarely end up writing it down. This one is being written down, albeit sporadically.
But anyway, what i was thinking about was people. Specifically, the ones im not going to see ever again after next year. Okay, a little longer than that. But still, somewhere around the time my sister goes into college my parents are planning on moving somewhere. They don't especially like living in New Jersey, and neither do I. They want to live in Vermont or somewhere similar, which i think is ana wesome idea. Except i realized that it would mean i wouldnt have any reason whatsoever to come back to Metuchen, ever.
Jeez, commenting before i finished... margaret, that's kind of sad. Drew, that's not. Whee?
So to continue, i made a list of everyone who i had the remotest possibility of keeping in touch with. The list is as follows: Drew Grossman, Courtney Downing. That's it. Everyone else i either don't like enough or am already drifting away from or know that their life and mine will not be on nearly the same schedule to make keeping in touch a possiblity. Examples, in order: colin. decent guy, dont like him enough to keep in contact after daily contact is gone. Cathy. I'm drifting away from her and we were kindavaguely close only to begin with, though perhaps that will devolve into sporadic letters. Steve. He's going into the fucking marines for four years, for some reason i doubt that i'll be talking to him very much.
So, in other words, eighteen years of my life will be devolving into somewhere between zero and two people. I can't say that i mind that much. I haven't liked the people here for years.
Of course, there are others. CTY people, cruise people, completely random assosciations (like Jessi, who rocks), second-degree friends (Jasmine! Canada! I count you as a friend though we've only had one conversation - over IM!), and i guess random LJ friends (i.e. Faye, who's life is interesting and i never ever talk to). But everyone is vaguely fading away. It's just how life works.
Which is vaguely depressing.
Except i'm going to end up ion a community somewhere (oberlinoberlinoberlinpleasebeoberlin) of people who share my interests and my general intellectual bracket. And it will be amazing, and i'm psyched, and looking back is something that i'm incredibly good at. Regrets i'm good at as well. But... eh. Life. Such it is.
So many people, so little time.
I've lost direction. It's good enough. Now this is done. The song is completely coincidental and i don't really like it, it is not me being emo.
I has a piece of cheese, a pretzel, a handful of chow mein noodles, and a bowl of miso soup for lunch. It was excellent.
So, i was writing this entry last night as i go to sleep. I do that a lot. Or whenever anything happens, i write something about it in my head. Often in blog form, sometimes as an essay, sometimes as a letter, sometimes i make up songs. I do it all the time. I rarely end up writing it down. This one is being written down, albeit sporadically.
But anyway, what i was thinking about was people. Specifically, the ones im not going to see ever again after next year. Okay, a little longer than that. But still, somewhere around the time my sister goes into college my parents are planning on moving somewhere. They don't especially like living in New Jersey, and neither do I. They want to live in Vermont or somewhere similar, which i think is ana wesome idea. Except i realized that it would mean i wouldnt have any reason whatsoever to come back to Metuchen, ever.
Jeez, commenting before i finished... margaret, that's kind of sad. Drew, that's not. Whee?
So to continue, i made a list of everyone who i had the remotest possibility of keeping in touch with. The list is as follows: Drew Grossman, Courtney Downing. That's it. Everyone else i either don't like enough or am already drifting away from or know that their life and mine will not be on nearly the same schedule to make keeping in touch a possiblity. Examples, in order: colin. decent guy, dont like him enough to keep in contact after daily contact is gone. Cathy. I'm drifting away from her and we were kindavaguely close only to begin with, though perhaps that will devolve into sporadic letters. Steve. He's going into the fucking marines for four years, for some reason i doubt that i'll be talking to him very much.
So, in other words, eighteen years of my life will be devolving into somewhere between zero and two people. I can't say that i mind that much. I haven't liked the people here for years.
Of course, there are others. CTY people, cruise people, completely random assosciations (like Jessi, who rocks), second-degree friends (Jasmine! Canada! I count you as a friend though we've only had one conversation - over IM!), and i guess random LJ friends (i.e. Faye, who's life is interesting and i never ever talk to). But everyone is vaguely fading away. It's just how life works.
Which is vaguely depressing.
Except i'm going to end up ion a community somewhere (oberlinoberlinoberlinpleasebeoberlin) of people who share my interests and my general intellectual bracket. And it will be amazing, and i'm psyched, and looking back is something that i'm incredibly good at. Regrets i'm good at as well. But... eh. Life. Such it is.
So many people, so little time.
I've lost direction. It's good enough. Now this is done. The song is completely coincidental and i don't really like it, it is not me being emo.