One Girl and a Bug
The first day I walked into the Mad Otter offices, I was a silly young college girl who loved games. I remember wandering around the building, finally getting to the suite, and then standing awkwardly in the lobby. I continued to stand in the lobby looking around. The cardboard Gollum who was the only one to notice me for several minutes.
I took it all in: what books were on the bookshelf, the software and games I could see, the concept art, the two men I could see from where I stood...and I waited. Eventually the man on the phone (who was Damon) noticed me and my debacle began. He had to interrupt his phone call to go get another man (Darren), who warily wandered my way. He probably took me for a lost student, which wasn't too far off in reality. I blathered something about dropping off a resume, took off my beast of a backpack, and as I'm going for the zipper I introduce myself. So here I am, a little young lady with a backpack the size of her body, rummaging around while Darren is probably standing there thinking, “Why me?”
The best part however, was the bug on my backpack. Not only did I interrupt a phone call and tore Darren away from scripting (or *cough* Kingdom of Loathing ), but I had now brought another usurper with me. Just what a game studio wants: more bugs. I tried to keep the bug busy by coaxing it to crawl onto my hand. Now the stage is set. An epic fail is brewing. I finally find my resume, and as I am turning to hand it to Darren, the bug on my hand catches the breeze and seizes it's chance to be free, flying into the office. As any polite young lady would do, I lament it's parting by saying, out loud, “Bye, bye, bug.” Darren followed my eye line but I'm not sure he ever saw the bug. I sincerely hope he did. Either way I'm sure he thought me crazy.
So what's changed? I'm still a silly young girl. I still love games. There are two differences. I no longer just stand awkwardly in the lobby. I can now stand awkwardly in all areas of the Mad Otter suite; I am no longer be restrained to just one room. In addition, Darren no longer thinks I'm crazy. He *knows* I'm crazy.
That day I handed in my resume was what I considered to be a disaster. In my mind, nothing went right. If there's one thing I've been reminded of this summer it's that life doesn't usually go as we plan.
For the first time in a long while I do not have “plans” for this fall. I would like to get a job in the game industry, that would be my dream, but I'm not sure if that will happen. I am signed up for two classes at the community college I graduated from this Spring, but I'm not sure if I will ultimately end up taking them. It's all up in the air, which is really what it always is in life. Not having a plan (set in quick drying cement) is something I've never liked. It feels funny. I'm a fan of goals because otherwise I end up wasting time. I already waste enough time in life when I *do* have proper plans.
Sometimes I think that's because I never get past the planning stage. It's easy for me to notice and foresee problems. Some people call it pessimism, I claim it to be realism. Whatever it is, it must come in moderation. It seems that if you live in a state of all-optimism, you will be let down. If you live entirely in pessimism, you will cripple yourself. Like many things, there is a happy medium. I definitely haven't achieved that happy medium, but I like to think that I'm improving.
I have a tendency to say, “Hope for the best, expect the worst.” I'd say that after discrete math tests. Funny thing was, when I'd hope for the best, I'd end up getting the worst. Vice versa, if I expected the worst, I usually got the best score. In light of that I feel the need to alter my phrase. Perhaps it should be, “Anticipate problems, but persevere anyway.”
I took it all in: what books were on the bookshelf, the software and games I could see, the concept art, the two men I could see from where I stood...and I waited. Eventually the man on the phone (who was Damon) noticed me and my debacle began. He had to interrupt his phone call to go get another man (Darren), who warily wandered my way. He probably took me for a lost student, which wasn't too far off in reality. I blathered something about dropping off a resume, took off my beast of a backpack, and as I'm going for the zipper I introduce myself. So here I am, a little young lady with a backpack the size of her body, rummaging around while Darren is probably standing there thinking, “Why me?”
The best part however, was the bug on my backpack. Not only did I interrupt a phone call and tore Darren away from scripting (or *cough* Kingdom of Loathing ), but I had now brought another usurper with me. Just what a game studio wants: more bugs. I tried to keep the bug busy by coaxing it to crawl onto my hand. Now the stage is set. An epic fail is brewing. I finally find my resume, and as I am turning to hand it to Darren, the bug on my hand catches the breeze and seizes it's chance to be free, flying into the office. As any polite young lady would do, I lament it's parting by saying, out loud, “Bye, bye, bug.” Darren followed my eye line but I'm not sure he ever saw the bug. I sincerely hope he did. Either way I'm sure he thought me crazy.
So what's changed? I'm still a silly young girl. I still love games. There are two differences. I no longer just stand awkwardly in the lobby. I can now stand awkwardly in all areas of the Mad Otter suite; I am no longer be restrained to just one room. In addition, Darren no longer thinks I'm crazy. He *knows* I'm crazy.
That day I handed in my resume was what I considered to be a disaster. In my mind, nothing went right. If there's one thing I've been reminded of this summer it's that life doesn't usually go as we plan.
For the first time in a long while I do not have “plans” for this fall. I would like to get a job in the game industry, that would be my dream, but I'm not sure if that will happen. I am signed up for two classes at the community college I graduated from this Spring, but I'm not sure if I will ultimately end up taking them. It's all up in the air, which is really what it always is in life. Not having a plan (set in quick drying cement) is something I've never liked. It feels funny. I'm a fan of goals because otherwise I end up wasting time. I already waste enough time in life when I *do* have proper plans.
Sometimes I think that's because I never get past the planning stage. It's easy for me to notice and foresee problems. Some people call it pessimism, I claim it to be realism. Whatever it is, it must come in moderation. It seems that if you live in a state of all-optimism, you will be let down. If you live entirely in pessimism, you will cripple yourself. Like many things, there is a happy medium. I definitely haven't achieved that happy medium, but I like to think that I'm improving.
I have a tendency to say, “Hope for the best, expect the worst.” I'd say that after discrete math tests. Funny thing was, when I'd hope for the best, I'd end up getting the worst. Vice versa, if I expected the worst, I usually got the best score. In light of that I feel the need to alter my phrase. Perhaps it should be, “Anticipate problems, but persevere anyway.”