(no subject)
I think it might be one of those times again. Those times where change occurs in rapid succession until things are made different. Hm. No phone for a while and then no computer. During all of this..I think I've just about lost track of nearly everyone I talk to. Okay. That's an exageration of sorts, but I really rarely do talk to much of anyone it seems. See Shawn a lot because I work with him, but I think I've grown a good deal closer to Shawn as well. He's a really great guy. Sometimes I wonder if he understands the level that he's appreciated, but he should.
Addressing things since I last posted..Or from what I can remember anyway. I got an even newer phone. Oellig got a new Motorola Razor and didn't need his old one, so I picked it up for twenty bucks. It's a really nice phone. I feel so out of shape. I haven't played a real game of basketball in a very long time. After initially auditioning for the melodrama this year and not getting a part, I was offered a role upon someone left. When auditions first took place I was excited but a bit leary too. I wanted a part. The hero, actually. I enjoyed myself a good deal in last year's. But now I had this wonderful girl in my life and didn't want to be away from her. It seemed like a tough undertaking this time. So when that first night rolled around for callups..And I wasn't ever called..I was only slightly dissapointed. I was glad to have as much time as possible with Alisha. Oellig, Jennifer, and Samantha were all great to me, attempting to console me saying something like "I'm sorry you didn't get a part. You did a good job." I really think I was the only one not sorry about me not getting a part. Even Alisha felt a little bad about it. She told me to take the part when it finally did present itself later. So I did as she asked. And I've had a great deal of fun on set. The cast is really pretty fun to work with. But I never see her right now. That part really sucks.
Our relationship is maturing now. We've actually gotten into a few arguements so that whole first confrontation is out of the way. We've had a few nights where our emotions were laid out there pretty bare. I know that I tend to hold things in because I know that I can take pain, but would rather not burden others with it. She sometimes is a little scared and wants to push me away. We've both worked on things within the relationship, though. I try to be open and honest with, not just the honesty I display on a regular basis, but letting her in on the intimate thoughts and desires of mine. Compromise. I say that like I invented the word, but I still don't think we're very good at that. But I've listened to some Britney Spears and she's starting the Star Wars movies with me. So we are moving in a positive direction. I still do things I know I shouldn't, though. I think I have a tendency to look at and compare our relationship to everyone else's. Thinking, regardless of the other couple's time or circumstances together, that we should be like that. I'm always having to stop and let myself know that I should only be worried about what's best for us. I also get going a little too fast and forget to have fun with her in the present. I think maybe I need to just realize how much time we have ahead of us. I don't want to ruin anything with her. She's the best thing to ever happen to me.
Lately, even though I've been so drained, things have gone real well. I've had a cold, so with work and play practice, I'm not left with much energy. And I've gotten back to not sleeping as much as I should. Probably from not seeing her. Days aren't nearly as satisfying without her. Money's tight and I am trying to work at getting another job, but I'm not doing so bad. I'm attempting to get my junk filed and get back into school as well. Hm. I attended Jennifer's awesome birthday party Saturday. It was set up like an eighties prom, a stellar idea of Jennifer's. I'm not much for dressing up, so I decided that something else eighties would be good. Being a video game fan, I figured the Super Mario Brothers would be really neat to come as, so Shawn as Mario and I as Luigi attended and took several pictures with the people there. Our costumes were put together in only a few hours and for about five dollars. I believe we did a great job on them. I also picked up a civil war hat and these cool houndstooth pants at Goodwill while we were there. The pants are really comfortable, have a cool change pocket in the right pocket, and had four dollars left tucked in the left pocket all for only three something. Great deal. The Newport Library is a interesting venue for a party like that and worked really well. By some anomoly or skewed balloting..Okay.. They cheated. Friends of mine overstocked the ballot box with votes showing me as prom king, giving me a victory. A little surprised, I took the Burger King crown as my own and awaited the naming of Queen. Jennifer, being the birthday girl totally won..Though she defered and allowed Sarah Ramone to win, I think I have the name right. The dance with her was my first ever with anyone. Last dance I even attended was the eight grade dance during school where I played poker. I didn't even know where to place my hands. She showed me. I actually felt a little bad about it, and had it just being someone asking me to dance at random probably would've declined so I could give Alisha my first dance. Though, I've decided I'll just count that as training and I can give it to her anyway.
Have a nice day.
Addressing things since I last posted..Or from what I can remember anyway. I got an even newer phone. Oellig got a new Motorola Razor and didn't need his old one, so I picked it up for twenty bucks. It's a really nice phone. I feel so out of shape. I haven't played a real game of basketball in a very long time. After initially auditioning for the melodrama this year and not getting a part, I was offered a role upon someone left. When auditions first took place I was excited but a bit leary too. I wanted a part. The hero, actually. I enjoyed myself a good deal in last year's. But now I had this wonderful girl in my life and didn't want to be away from her. It seemed like a tough undertaking this time. So when that first night rolled around for callups..And I wasn't ever called..I was only slightly dissapointed. I was glad to have as much time as possible with Alisha. Oellig, Jennifer, and Samantha were all great to me, attempting to console me saying something like "I'm sorry you didn't get a part. You did a good job." I really think I was the only one not sorry about me not getting a part. Even Alisha felt a little bad about it. She told me to take the part when it finally did present itself later. So I did as she asked. And I've had a great deal of fun on set. The cast is really pretty fun to work with. But I never see her right now. That part really sucks.
Our relationship is maturing now. We've actually gotten into a few arguements so that whole first confrontation is out of the way. We've had a few nights where our emotions were laid out there pretty bare. I know that I tend to hold things in because I know that I can take pain, but would rather not burden others with it. She sometimes is a little scared and wants to push me away. We've both worked on things within the relationship, though. I try to be open and honest with, not just the honesty I display on a regular basis, but letting her in on the intimate thoughts and desires of mine. Compromise. I say that like I invented the word, but I still don't think we're very good at that. But I've listened to some Britney Spears and she's starting the Star Wars movies with me. So we are moving in a positive direction. I still do things I know I shouldn't, though. I think I have a tendency to look at and compare our relationship to everyone else's. Thinking, regardless of the other couple's time or circumstances together, that we should be like that. I'm always having to stop and let myself know that I should only be worried about what's best for us. I also get going a little too fast and forget to have fun with her in the present. I think maybe I need to just realize how much time we have ahead of us. I don't want to ruin anything with her. She's the best thing to ever happen to me.
Lately, even though I've been so drained, things have gone real well. I've had a cold, so with work and play practice, I'm not left with much energy. And I've gotten back to not sleeping as much as I should. Probably from not seeing her. Days aren't nearly as satisfying without her. Money's tight and I am trying to work at getting another job, but I'm not doing so bad. I'm attempting to get my junk filed and get back into school as well. Hm. I attended Jennifer's awesome birthday party Saturday. It was set up like an eighties prom, a stellar idea of Jennifer's. I'm not much for dressing up, so I decided that something else eighties would be good. Being a video game fan, I figured the Super Mario Brothers would be really neat to come as, so Shawn as Mario and I as Luigi attended and took several pictures with the people there. Our costumes were put together in only a few hours and for about five dollars. I believe we did a great job on them. I also picked up a civil war hat and these cool houndstooth pants at Goodwill while we were there. The pants are really comfortable, have a cool change pocket in the right pocket, and had four dollars left tucked in the left pocket all for only three something. Great deal. The Newport Library is a interesting venue for a party like that and worked really well. By some anomoly or skewed balloting..Okay.. They cheated. Friends of mine overstocked the ballot box with votes showing me as prom king, giving me a victory. A little surprised, I took the Burger King crown as my own and awaited the naming of Queen. Jennifer, being the birthday girl totally won..Though she defered and allowed Sarah Ramone to win, I think I have the name right. The dance with her was my first ever with anyone. Last dance I even attended was the eight grade dance during school where I played poker. I didn't even know where to place my hands. She showed me. I actually felt a little bad about it, and had it just being someone asking me to dance at random probably would've declined so I could give Alisha my first dance. Though, I've decided I'll just count that as training and I can give it to her anyway.
Have a nice day.