(no subject)
I woke up today.
I baked over FOURTEEN DOZEN cookies.
A few minutes ago, I went and delivered a couple plates full of them to some friends. The radio DJs were full of spirit...commenting on how the FAA had spotted a UFO in the shape of a sleigh with some sort of animal pulling it. I have felt like a bit of grinch this year. It wasn't so very long ago that things were different...I was happy for the music...happy for the decorations...and just the general warmth it brought to my heart. If there was one time of the year that my family and I could get along, it was the holidays. Of course, that changed a few years ago. I've been lucky enough to have several "adopted" families who are happy to share it with me. On Christmas day, I've always spent it with Kathleen's....but during this last year, her and I have grown apart.....a lot. I'm not sure it would feel right to be there now...I never see her family anymore. I have other options...dunno what I'll actually end up doing though..but I think I feel removed from the holidays. They are just kind of passing me by...and I hate it. I really want that true feeling of family during this time of year.
That made me think something amazing. Since I know that things will never be the same with my parents again, I knew I would feel it only one other way.
...if it was MY family.
I actually yearned to have a family of my own tonight. I've never felt that. Don't get me wrong, I've never been AGAINST having a family of my own..but I've never really WANTED it. Strange times these are. Eh, maybe I'm just being over-emotional because it's the holidays.
Have a great one guys and gals :)
I baked over FOURTEEN DOZEN cookies.
A few minutes ago, I went and delivered a couple plates full of them to some friends. The radio DJs were full of spirit...commenting on how the FAA had spotted a UFO in the shape of a sleigh with some sort of animal pulling it. I have felt like a bit of grinch this year. It wasn't so very long ago that things were different...I was happy for the music...happy for the decorations...and just the general warmth it brought to my heart. If there was one time of the year that my family and I could get along, it was the holidays. Of course, that changed a few years ago. I've been lucky enough to have several "adopted" families who are happy to share it with me. On Christmas day, I've always spent it with Kathleen's....but during this last year, her and I have grown apart.....a lot. I'm not sure it would feel right to be there now...I never see her family anymore. I have other options...dunno what I'll actually end up doing though..but I think I feel removed from the holidays. They are just kind of passing me by...and I hate it. I really want that true feeling of family during this time of year.
That made me think something amazing. Since I know that things will never be the same with my parents again, I knew I would feel it only one other way.
...if it was MY family.
I actually yearned to have a family of my own tonight. I've never felt that. Don't get me wrong, I've never been AGAINST having a family of my own..but I've never really WANTED it. Strange times these are. Eh, maybe I'm just being over-emotional because it's the holidays.
Have a great one guys and gals :)