I cried...
So, this entry is going to be very long, and is dedicated to all my friends from faire. There is so much I want to say in this, that no matter how long I spend writing it, I will inevitably leave out half of what I meant to say. For the sake of those not in faire, I'll put it behind a cut.
So, a lot of you asked me how I kept my composure on stage, with all those kind words being said, and gifts, and memories, and let me just say, while I managed to keep most of them in, a few tears did get out up there, and the main reason I couldn't give the speech I wanted to give, was because I was afraid I would break down, and I can't do that in front of people. I'm not one of those people who really wears their emotions on their sleeves, and I wanted peoples' last impression of me up there to be the Johnny D they all knew and loved, and not a weepy mess.
This being said, as soon as I left faire and got to Sarah's house, I broke down. I cried until I couldn't physically cry anymore. I didn't think leaving would affect me this much, but it really did. I haven't cried that hard in longer than I can remember, and when I finished, there were still sobs fighting to get out, I just couldn't physically let them out.
The past nine years of my life have been pretty damn good. I've really had no major complaints, and I've always considered myself very blessed to have such a large and loving family, such great friends, and more amazing memories than I could count. Regardless of this, the high point of every year for me has always been faire. Faire was always the thing that I looked forward to, no matter how good my year was going, and on years that weren't going very well, faire was a welcome haven that I knew would make everything all better...and it always did.
I've seen this faire grow from a dream, into something more wonderful than I could ever find the words to describe. Not only has the faire grown by leaps and bounds, but I've had the opportunity to see the people in it grow and mature in amazing ways. While the first three years were done without Autumn tree, I still had the time of my life doing them. After Autumn Tree joined, this increased dramatically.
To point some people out in particular, who have shared almost this whole crazy ride with me, Maureen...you were there the very first year Autumn Tree came in, and you took the role of Willow and made it something great. I still remember the shy girl who still hadn't quite come out of her shell. I've seen you go through so much in life...highs and lows...and even run ins with the law ;-). Despite some hard times that I regret not being able to help you through more, I couldn't be happier to see where you ended up. You're consistently complimented by patrons on your street work, and as an actor, you're amazing. (I still choke up thinking of the Heart and the Healer) On top of all this, your fight this year looked amazing. You have much to be proud of, and I hope you never forget that.
Jess, you were another early joiner, and I remember when you were still the street shy Owl fey Owel (pardon the spelling) You've also come an extremely far way, and I doubt if people saw you back then, they would have even recognized you. You have always been someone who we have come to expect improvement from, every year you're with us. You never come to faire without bringing more to the table than you have previously, and it's an amazing thing to see. I foresee great things in your future, and hopefully you don't stay a squire as long as I did. ;-)
Jodi, I remember being in awe over how organized you and Stephen were when Autumn Tree came in. Never before had we received such exceptional training for the Faire day from someone who had extensive experience in it. Though I had been acting on stage for five years before faire, I had never learned how to embrace a character as fully as you taught us how to. Seeing Ursula on the street was always a reminder as to how good improvisational acting and physical acting could really look. The years you couldn't be with us during the rehearsal process, though very capable hands took over, I always felt there was something missing. You are, in many ways, the reason Gawain ended up being who he was.
Stephen. Though I was incredibly intimidated by you my first year, I always had a huge amount of respect for you. Even before you were a director, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly was always my all time favorite act (and remains so, to this day, even if only in memory) Growing closer to you over the years has been an amazing experience, and I am super thankful I have been given the opportunity. You are a wealth of information on just about anything I could have ever wanted to know about the Ren Faire world. You are the reason the cast has gotten to where it is today, and why the faire has become such a hit, not just for the indies and vendors, but for the actual cast shows. I have been to several faires, where I've attended all the cast shows, only to leave disappointed in the amount of time that must have been given to them. That's not something that anyone leaving the CT Faire could think. To this day, the greatest honor of my life was being asked to fight alongside yourself, Scott and Seth in GBU. I honestly can't say enough about how much you've helped me to grow. It is an honor to have worked with you, and I hope that all new and returning cast members realize how lucky they truly are to have you back.
Finally, Dan. I know I've written before about how proud I am of you, but it needs to be said again. There's no one in this world who I respect more than you. You're a good friend, a great brother, and have always been my role model. From the first time you told me to pick up a foam Nerf arrow and sword fight you with it, I was hooked. You taught me more than I ever think you'll know...not just about sword fighting, or acting (read: overacting ;-) ) but about life as a whole. Everyone reads stories about people who have had a dream and who have turned it into a reality, and most think that that just doesn't happen to normal people. I count myself blessed to not only know, but be related to someone who has taken a dream, and worked unbelievably hard to make it into a reality. And along the way to fulfilling your dream, something has happened that I don't think anybody could have foreseen. In an attempt to fulfill your own dream, you have stirred slumbering dreams in the hearts of many. People who never would have considered acting, come to our faire to give it a shot, and find that it's what they want to do for the rest of their life. People who never had picked up a sword, find that nothing makes them happier than spending hours memorizing choreo and swinging around a large piece of steel. People who had spent their lives with an idea in the back of their head, of someday performing on stage, if only they could find the right venue, have come here, and realized that performing at a ren faire is one of the most rewarding places to perform. Not only have you instilled hope in people, but in the stage cast, you've also created a family. People, like me, who may live ordinary lives all year, but when they come to faire, they are surrounded by people who love them, and they have the chance, even if only for a few months, the be the King of Briton, or a powerful wizard, or even a tree. Inadvertently, you've created something that people not only look forward to, but truly, live for. I could go on for pages, but I think you know, and if you don't, I have failed.
I never dreamed that faire would have such a powerful effect on me when I auditioned at Bradley Playhouse with a foam sword, so many years ago. I never dreamed I'd get so close to so many people, from so many different places, all come together for a common cause: To entertain. There is not one of you who hasn't touched my life in some way, and there are some of you who have not only touched it, but altered it greatly, and for the better, and for this, I thank you. These have truly been an amazing eight years, and faire memories are consistently the best memories of my entire life. Thank you. So much more than I could ever say...thank you.
In spirit of this post, I thought I'd revive an old post of mine from a few years back entitled, You Know You've Been in CTRF Too Long When... Even you new folks, while you may not remember many of these things, feel free to add your own fun memories to the list, so we can all look back on them years from now and get a chuckle at the good times we all had together.
You Know You've Been in CTRF Too Long When...
1) You Remember Brian Harvard being a King
2) You know the deep significance behind the phrase, "Brash words, Ogre."
3) You remember GBU on ice.
4) You don't see anything wrong with having a faire in the backyard of a small motel.
5) You think that having a Green Room in an unnecessary luxury.
6) Your vocal chords are still recovering from trying to project over the lawn mower from hell.
7) (A Real Obscure One) You remember hearing "Uh...well..." from Morgue uncountable times.
8) You still hear the screams of children that Blight has scarred for life. (mmmmyyeeeesss)
9) You DON'T TALK ABOUT THE NINJA!!!!
10) You have been Traaaannssffooooooooormed!!!!
11) You remember when Hitting and Stabbing Emporium was just a hatchet wall, Smite the Knight, and a Test of Strength, and the Kid's Court...didn't exist...
12) You know exactly how much punches/stabs it takes from a thorn to break a blood packet.
13) You know that Floor Toms + Joust = ...No Joust...
14) You Reinze and Repeat...just for good measure.
15) You remember when we had half a dozen Bercilak's running around.
16) You were encouraged to refer to cameras as "Magical Soul Stealers"
17) You've been caught in a traffic jam in the Kissing Bridge
18) You've performed a chess match underneath the Tavern Tent
19) You remember Percival running through Faire in a dress
20) You remember Maureen's first chess match fight
21) You've lullabied yourself to sleep with "Where is Thumper? Where is Thumper? In your spleen! In your spleen!"
22) You've marveled at how Dindrane's hair gets progressively darker each year...
23) You remember the original green knight.
24) You remember the Fey of Owls, Blight, Squirrels, Flame, Frost, Poisons, Ravens, Wind, Bears, Cats, and Badgers (NOT SKUNKS!!!!)
25) You plan on adding several more to this list...
So, a lot of you asked me how I kept my composure on stage, with all those kind words being said, and gifts, and memories, and let me just say, while I managed to keep most of them in, a few tears did get out up there, and the main reason I couldn't give the speech I wanted to give, was because I was afraid I would break down, and I can't do that in front of people. I'm not one of those people who really wears their emotions on their sleeves, and I wanted peoples' last impression of me up there to be the Johnny D they all knew and loved, and not a weepy mess.
This being said, as soon as I left faire and got to Sarah's house, I broke down. I cried until I couldn't physically cry anymore. I didn't think leaving would affect me this much, but it really did. I haven't cried that hard in longer than I can remember, and when I finished, there were still sobs fighting to get out, I just couldn't physically let them out.
The past nine years of my life have been pretty damn good. I've really had no major complaints, and I've always considered myself very blessed to have such a large and loving family, such great friends, and more amazing memories than I could count. Regardless of this, the high point of every year for me has always been faire. Faire was always the thing that I looked forward to, no matter how good my year was going, and on years that weren't going very well, faire was a welcome haven that I knew would make everything all better...and it always did.
I've seen this faire grow from a dream, into something more wonderful than I could ever find the words to describe. Not only has the faire grown by leaps and bounds, but I've had the opportunity to see the people in it grow and mature in amazing ways. While the first three years were done without Autumn tree, I still had the time of my life doing them. After Autumn Tree joined, this increased dramatically.
To point some people out in particular, who have shared almost this whole crazy ride with me, Maureen...you were there the very first year Autumn Tree came in, and you took the role of Willow and made it something great. I still remember the shy girl who still hadn't quite come out of her shell. I've seen you go through so much in life...highs and lows...and even run ins with the law ;-). Despite some hard times that I regret not being able to help you through more, I couldn't be happier to see where you ended up. You're consistently complimented by patrons on your street work, and as an actor, you're amazing. (I still choke up thinking of the Heart and the Healer) On top of all this, your fight this year looked amazing. You have much to be proud of, and I hope you never forget that.
Jess, you were another early joiner, and I remember when you were still the street shy Owl fey Owel (pardon the spelling) You've also come an extremely far way, and I doubt if people saw you back then, they would have even recognized you. You have always been someone who we have come to expect improvement from, every year you're with us. You never come to faire without bringing more to the table than you have previously, and it's an amazing thing to see. I foresee great things in your future, and hopefully you don't stay a squire as long as I did. ;-)
Jodi, I remember being in awe over how organized you and Stephen were when Autumn Tree came in. Never before had we received such exceptional training for the Faire day from someone who had extensive experience in it. Though I had been acting on stage for five years before faire, I had never learned how to embrace a character as fully as you taught us how to. Seeing Ursula on the street was always a reminder as to how good improvisational acting and physical acting could really look. The years you couldn't be with us during the rehearsal process, though very capable hands took over, I always felt there was something missing. You are, in many ways, the reason Gawain ended up being who he was.
Stephen. Though I was incredibly intimidated by you my first year, I always had a huge amount of respect for you. Even before you were a director, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly was always my all time favorite act (and remains so, to this day, even if only in memory) Growing closer to you over the years has been an amazing experience, and I am super thankful I have been given the opportunity. You are a wealth of information on just about anything I could have ever wanted to know about the Ren Faire world. You are the reason the cast has gotten to where it is today, and why the faire has become such a hit, not just for the indies and vendors, but for the actual cast shows. I have been to several faires, where I've attended all the cast shows, only to leave disappointed in the amount of time that must have been given to them. That's not something that anyone leaving the CT Faire could think. To this day, the greatest honor of my life was being asked to fight alongside yourself, Scott and Seth in GBU. I honestly can't say enough about how much you've helped me to grow. It is an honor to have worked with you, and I hope that all new and returning cast members realize how lucky they truly are to have you back.
Finally, Dan. I know I've written before about how proud I am of you, but it needs to be said again. There's no one in this world who I respect more than you. You're a good friend, a great brother, and have always been my role model. From the first time you told me to pick up a foam Nerf arrow and sword fight you with it, I was hooked. You taught me more than I ever think you'll know...not just about sword fighting, or acting (read: overacting ;-) ) but about life as a whole. Everyone reads stories about people who have had a dream and who have turned it into a reality, and most think that that just doesn't happen to normal people. I count myself blessed to not only know, but be related to someone who has taken a dream, and worked unbelievably hard to make it into a reality. And along the way to fulfilling your dream, something has happened that I don't think anybody could have foreseen. In an attempt to fulfill your own dream, you have stirred slumbering dreams in the hearts of many. People who never would have considered acting, come to our faire to give it a shot, and find that it's what they want to do for the rest of their life. People who never had picked up a sword, find that nothing makes them happier than spending hours memorizing choreo and swinging around a large piece of steel. People who had spent their lives with an idea in the back of their head, of someday performing on stage, if only they could find the right venue, have come here, and realized that performing at a ren faire is one of the most rewarding places to perform. Not only have you instilled hope in people, but in the stage cast, you've also created a family. People, like me, who may live ordinary lives all year, but when they come to faire, they are surrounded by people who love them, and they have the chance, even if only for a few months, the be the King of Briton, or a powerful wizard, or even a tree. Inadvertently, you've created something that people not only look forward to, but truly, live for. I could go on for pages, but I think you know, and if you don't, I have failed.
I never dreamed that faire would have such a powerful effect on me when I auditioned at Bradley Playhouse with a foam sword, so many years ago. I never dreamed I'd get so close to so many people, from so many different places, all come together for a common cause: To entertain. There is not one of you who hasn't touched my life in some way, and there are some of you who have not only touched it, but altered it greatly, and for the better, and for this, I thank you. These have truly been an amazing eight years, and faire memories are consistently the best memories of my entire life. Thank you. So much more than I could ever say...thank you.
In spirit of this post, I thought I'd revive an old post of mine from a few years back entitled, You Know You've Been in CTRF Too Long When... Even you new folks, while you may not remember many of these things, feel free to add your own fun memories to the list, so we can all look back on them years from now and get a chuckle at the good times we all had together.
You Know You've Been in CTRF Too Long When...
1) You Remember Brian Harvard being a King
2) You know the deep significance behind the phrase, "Brash words, Ogre."
3) You remember GBU on ice.
4) You don't see anything wrong with having a faire in the backyard of a small motel.
5) You think that having a Green Room in an unnecessary luxury.
6) Your vocal chords are still recovering from trying to project over the lawn mower from hell.
7) (A Real Obscure One) You remember hearing "Uh...well..." from Morgue uncountable times.
8) You still hear the screams of children that Blight has scarred for life. (mmmmyyeeeesss)
9) You DON'T TALK ABOUT THE NINJA!!!!
10) You have been Traaaannssffooooooooormed!!!!
11) You remember when Hitting and Stabbing Emporium was just a hatchet wall, Smite the Knight, and a Test of Strength, and the Kid's Court...didn't exist...
12) You know exactly how much punches/stabs it takes from a thorn to break a blood packet.
13) You know that Floor Toms + Joust = ...No Joust...
14) You Reinze and Repeat...just for good measure.
15) You remember when we had half a dozen Bercilak's running around.
16) You were encouraged to refer to cameras as "Magical Soul Stealers"
17) You've been caught in a traffic jam in the Kissing Bridge
18) You've performed a chess match underneath the Tavern Tent
19) You remember Percival running through Faire in a dress
20) You remember Maureen's first chess match fight
21) You've lullabied yourself to sleep with "Where is Thumper? Where is Thumper? In your spleen! In your spleen!"
22) You've marveled at how Dindrane's hair gets progressively darker each year...
23) You remember the original green knight.
24) You remember the Fey of Owls, Blight, Squirrels, Flame, Frost, Poisons, Ravens, Wind, Bears, Cats, and Badgers (NOT SKUNKS!!!!)
25) You plan on adding several more to this list...