My life lately - mid-year-ish check-in
I turned 43 earlier this month - August 8 to be exact. I think that puts me as starting my 44th year. Or maybe I’m starting the 43rd. I never could get those things straight, nor have I ever paid much attention to the date other than as the day of the year I celebrate still being alive (hopefully with cake, good food, friends, and doing something unusual and exciting).
I’m pretty happy with where things are in my current life:
· I’m settling into my job well. It pays oodles. My boss has quit being as irritating as he was with what seemed to be inflated expectations. My coworker is just as quirky as I am and that’s great.
· Financially, I’m doing okay. My ex’s house is still in legal limbo as the lawyers sort out his parent’s estate. Looks like September is the new ‘we’ll be done by then!’ date. I have some credit card debt I’m uncomfortable with, due to putting my medical bills on them and having a lengthy snafu as to whether and how much the Indians would reimburse, and how long the hospital would pretend they weren’t obligated to give me a refund. I’m pretty sure that will be fixed in a few weeks, though. Once that gets sorted out, I’ll have a better grip on whether I’m spending more than I take in, and I’ll readjust from there.
· My weight is stable. I’m losing another 5 pounds which will put me in the 120-125 lb bracket (weight is upon waking, after peeing, and naked). I am very tired of trying to lose weight. This last Saturday, I gave myself a cheat day to eat whatever I wanted in whatever amounts I wanted. Turned out that what I wanted most was carbs. I ate so many that I was nauseated at the end of the day and the next day, even though I was back to eating right, I still had to take a nap. I’m going to keep trying for 120, though. My goal is that by the next BJJ tournament in December, that I’ll be able to qualify for the 120 lb bracket. Since I’m tracking my weight in the morning, that means by mid-morning, clothed, I tend to weigh 3-4 pounds more. To make a 120 weight, my average morning weight needs to be down to 122 or 123 at most, and that assumes the last week before the tourney I’ll be cutting carbs and salt to sweat off the 5 pounds or so I’d need to drop to make weight. But like I said, I’m finding the weight loss much more trying this time around. It’s depressing not to have enough energy for BJJ, I find myself ravenous on mornings that I run, and despite planning out my meals, I end up poaching a little here and there through the day. A coffee creamer, a few cashews, and a half ounce of cinnamon roll can quickly add up to the 100 calories I needed to short myself in order to lose weight, which makes the whole endeavor rather pointless. Hence the cheat day, so maybe I could get the food-thieving out of my system for a while. We’ll see how it works. It may be that my willpower has finally failed me and 125-130 is the weight I will end up being. My body looks awesome at either weight, so I’m good there.
· My health is good. I have no major injuries at the moment. My rotator cuff injury seems entirely healed. My separated shoulder hasn’t bothered me in nearly two months. The jammed toe is still a little stiff, but doesn’t hurt and I can pop it most days. My blown out knee from a couple weeks ago seems well-recovered. My knees are still bothering me overall and they’ve been doing that since before I started running in April. The fungal infection on my feet is largely cleared, but my soles have yet to toughen and thicken enough for my liking. At least I’m not literally shedding the skin off big patches of my soles anymore.
· My overall fitness level is also good. My strength seems to be holding steady despite the weight loss and various injuries. My stamina is slowly creeping higher as I put more time in on the treadmill. This morning I did a 9 minute mile (new personal best!) and last week I hit 9:15 twice. I’ve taken a Monday circuit training/kickboxing class and plan to go back to it when time allows, which has so far been only twice. I like it, but I worry about overtraining. I’m doing six hours a week of jujitsu and three hours of boot camp/weight training (which includes 10 minutes or so of running). That’s in addition to my reasonably active life. Tossing in an hour of cardio-kickboxing and another of BJJ feels like it’s too much.
· Balance. I’m attending a meditation class right now - it was 4 sessions and supposedly geared for beginners. We don’t do anything other than sit and chant, be led through breathing and relaxation exercises, and then sit with yourself and your thoughts for 15 minutes at a stretch. I can tell it’s helping me focus my attention and control/influence my racing thoughts, so that’s useful. It’s also showing me that how I was ‘doing’ meditation before wasn’t wrong. It’s just tough to make space in my life to do it. Yet I found time to do this class, so that’s something. I’m learning things about myself, feeling my way through them, and that’s good.
· I plan on getting scuba certified next month. It’s an accomplishment, sounds fun, it’s a lifetime certification, and I want to learn new things. My boyfriend will be taking the class with me.
· My family is doing fine. My son is struggling in school and we’re working different strategies on that. It’s so tempting to just say, ‘It’s your life; if you won’t put in the studying or follow anyone’s directions on how to improve yourself, then that’s on you,’ and throw up my hands. But I have to live with this kid. (He’s 15 right now.) If I don’t get him started well in life, then I might end up living with him for a lot longer than I want. I want him out as soon as he’s done with high school, but I don’t know how feasible that is. My daughter is doing fine. She’s enrolled in soccer this year, so we’ll see how my first year of having a kid in an extracurricular works out. I never did it before because of the problems with custody, and the general transition of the first year after Brett’s death (last year) seemed like a poor time to shake things up. My parents are good. My boyfriend is doing fine. I wish he was a little more ambitious, helpful, or active, but he makes me happy and he doesn’t get in my way most of the time, and he’s occasionally there for me (although he’s there for me a lot less than he says he will be, which is annoying).
As I look back at the goals I set for 2015, I’ve achieved all of them except for taking a family vacation. That’s still something we’re loosely planning for this fall, but even without a single big vacation, the new job has allowed me more cash with which to increase our general entertainment budget. Later this week, we’re going to see Temple Grandin lecture. In a week or two, we’re going to go horseback riding. A few weeks ago, we took my son to see Spamalot. Over the summer, we went to a couple baseball games together and to an MMA fight in support of our martial arts studio, who had a fighter on the main card. We’re getting out and doing a lot more than we used to.
I like where my life is. It would be nice to write more and work less, to be less driven and more relaxed, and to be more certain that I’ve put my ex and all that he took from me well behind me.
My loose goals for the rest of the year include:
· Another 5k run. I’m thinking the Zoo Run in October.
· Attend the BJJ tournament in December. I might be a blue belt by then, which is scary because I won’t be fighting a bunch of rank beginners. I’ll be matched with other blue belts. To be ready for it, I need to stay on target in class, keep up with my weight training and fitness, and continue with the cardio training (which is mainly running right now). It’s very important I don’t injure myself in any way that takes a long time to heal.
· Stay employed. Get better at my job. Attend ISM events. Look for an opportunity to attend some APICs events.
· Get my ex’s house sold and the financials settled.
· Get reimbursed for the medical stuff and that settled.
· Cement a plan for our next vacation. My vote is to use the frequent flyer miles and points I’ve managed to finagle (by putting the medical bills on new credit cards that had big rewards programs for a certain purchase level, which the medical bills counted towards) and fly us all to Florida or something, then take a week-long cruise through the Caribbean.
· Return to the sex club a few times. Partly to stay in touch because there were people there I liked and was friendly with, partly to see what there is to see, and partly to see if I can score better now that I’ve lost nearly a hundred pounds and packed on some muscle.
· Work more with my kids to get them prepared for moving on in life. My son is in high school now. In a few months, he’ll be 16. Things like driving, getting a job, interning, and getting contacts are important at this stage. My daughter isn’t as critical because she’s 9 and has more time, but since she seems interested in doing well in school (more so than my son ever was), I want to foster that. She’s also enrolling in soccer in addition to San Soo, so that will take some juggling and she might not be able to manage both. Or more correctly, I might not have the family infrastructure that allows her to be transported reliably to events for both.
· Go hunting.
· Manage chickens, bees, possibly three turkeys I’ll be fattening for Thanksgiving, etc.
· Write some original fic.
· Keep up on my other fic.
· Watch Heroes Reborn and the Star Wars movie.
I’m pretty happy with where things are in my current life:
· I’m settling into my job well. It pays oodles. My boss has quit being as irritating as he was with what seemed to be inflated expectations. My coworker is just as quirky as I am and that’s great.
· Financially, I’m doing okay. My ex’s house is still in legal limbo as the lawyers sort out his parent’s estate. Looks like September is the new ‘we’ll be done by then!’ date. I have some credit card debt I’m uncomfortable with, due to putting my medical bills on them and having a lengthy snafu as to whether and how much the Indians would reimburse, and how long the hospital would pretend they weren’t obligated to give me a refund. I’m pretty sure that will be fixed in a few weeks, though. Once that gets sorted out, I’ll have a better grip on whether I’m spending more than I take in, and I’ll readjust from there.
· My weight is stable. I’m losing another 5 pounds which will put me in the 120-125 lb bracket (weight is upon waking, after peeing, and naked). I am very tired of trying to lose weight. This last Saturday, I gave myself a cheat day to eat whatever I wanted in whatever amounts I wanted. Turned out that what I wanted most was carbs. I ate so many that I was nauseated at the end of the day and the next day, even though I was back to eating right, I still had to take a nap. I’m going to keep trying for 120, though. My goal is that by the next BJJ tournament in December, that I’ll be able to qualify for the 120 lb bracket. Since I’m tracking my weight in the morning, that means by mid-morning, clothed, I tend to weigh 3-4 pounds more. To make a 120 weight, my average morning weight needs to be down to 122 or 123 at most, and that assumes the last week before the tourney I’ll be cutting carbs and salt to sweat off the 5 pounds or so I’d need to drop to make weight. But like I said, I’m finding the weight loss much more trying this time around. It’s depressing not to have enough energy for BJJ, I find myself ravenous on mornings that I run, and despite planning out my meals, I end up poaching a little here and there through the day. A coffee creamer, a few cashews, and a half ounce of cinnamon roll can quickly add up to the 100 calories I needed to short myself in order to lose weight, which makes the whole endeavor rather pointless. Hence the cheat day, so maybe I could get the food-thieving out of my system for a while. We’ll see how it works. It may be that my willpower has finally failed me and 125-130 is the weight I will end up being. My body looks awesome at either weight, so I’m good there.
· My health is good. I have no major injuries at the moment. My rotator cuff injury seems entirely healed. My separated shoulder hasn’t bothered me in nearly two months. The jammed toe is still a little stiff, but doesn’t hurt and I can pop it most days. My blown out knee from a couple weeks ago seems well-recovered. My knees are still bothering me overall and they’ve been doing that since before I started running in April. The fungal infection on my feet is largely cleared, but my soles have yet to toughen and thicken enough for my liking. At least I’m not literally shedding the skin off big patches of my soles anymore.
· My overall fitness level is also good. My strength seems to be holding steady despite the weight loss and various injuries. My stamina is slowly creeping higher as I put more time in on the treadmill. This morning I did a 9 minute mile (new personal best!) and last week I hit 9:15 twice. I’ve taken a Monday circuit training/kickboxing class and plan to go back to it when time allows, which has so far been only twice. I like it, but I worry about overtraining. I’m doing six hours a week of jujitsu and three hours of boot camp/weight training (which includes 10 minutes or so of running). That’s in addition to my reasonably active life. Tossing in an hour of cardio-kickboxing and another of BJJ feels like it’s too much.
· Balance. I’m attending a meditation class right now - it was 4 sessions and supposedly geared for beginners. We don’t do anything other than sit and chant, be led through breathing and relaxation exercises, and then sit with yourself and your thoughts for 15 minutes at a stretch. I can tell it’s helping me focus my attention and control/influence my racing thoughts, so that’s useful. It’s also showing me that how I was ‘doing’ meditation before wasn’t wrong. It’s just tough to make space in my life to do it. Yet I found time to do this class, so that’s something. I’m learning things about myself, feeling my way through them, and that’s good.
· I plan on getting scuba certified next month. It’s an accomplishment, sounds fun, it’s a lifetime certification, and I want to learn new things. My boyfriend will be taking the class with me.
· My family is doing fine. My son is struggling in school and we’re working different strategies on that. It’s so tempting to just say, ‘It’s your life; if you won’t put in the studying or follow anyone’s directions on how to improve yourself, then that’s on you,’ and throw up my hands. But I have to live with this kid. (He’s 15 right now.) If I don’t get him started well in life, then I might end up living with him for a lot longer than I want. I want him out as soon as he’s done with high school, but I don’t know how feasible that is. My daughter is doing fine. She’s enrolled in soccer this year, so we’ll see how my first year of having a kid in an extracurricular works out. I never did it before because of the problems with custody, and the general transition of the first year after Brett’s death (last year) seemed like a poor time to shake things up. My parents are good. My boyfriend is doing fine. I wish he was a little more ambitious, helpful, or active, but he makes me happy and he doesn’t get in my way most of the time, and he’s occasionally there for me (although he’s there for me a lot less than he says he will be, which is annoying).
As I look back at the goals I set for 2015, I’ve achieved all of them except for taking a family vacation. That’s still something we’re loosely planning for this fall, but even without a single big vacation, the new job has allowed me more cash with which to increase our general entertainment budget. Later this week, we’re going to see Temple Grandin lecture. In a week or two, we’re going to go horseback riding. A few weeks ago, we took my son to see Spamalot. Over the summer, we went to a couple baseball games together and to an MMA fight in support of our martial arts studio, who had a fighter on the main card. We’re getting out and doing a lot more than we used to.
I like where my life is. It would be nice to write more and work less, to be less driven and more relaxed, and to be more certain that I’ve put my ex and all that he took from me well behind me.
My loose goals for the rest of the year include:
· Another 5k run. I’m thinking the Zoo Run in October.
· Attend the BJJ tournament in December. I might be a blue belt by then, which is scary because I won’t be fighting a bunch of rank beginners. I’ll be matched with other blue belts. To be ready for it, I need to stay on target in class, keep up with my weight training and fitness, and continue with the cardio training (which is mainly running right now). It’s very important I don’t injure myself in any way that takes a long time to heal.
· Stay employed. Get better at my job. Attend ISM events. Look for an opportunity to attend some APICs events.
· Get my ex’s house sold and the financials settled.
· Get reimbursed for the medical stuff and that settled.
· Cement a plan for our next vacation. My vote is to use the frequent flyer miles and points I’ve managed to finagle (by putting the medical bills on new credit cards that had big rewards programs for a certain purchase level, which the medical bills counted towards) and fly us all to Florida or something, then take a week-long cruise through the Caribbean.
· Return to the sex club a few times. Partly to stay in touch because there were people there I liked and was friendly with, partly to see what there is to see, and partly to see if I can score better now that I’ve lost nearly a hundred pounds and packed on some muscle.
· Work more with my kids to get them prepared for moving on in life. My son is in high school now. In a few months, he’ll be 16. Things like driving, getting a job, interning, and getting contacts are important at this stage. My daughter isn’t as critical because she’s 9 and has more time, but since she seems interested in doing well in school (more so than my son ever was), I want to foster that. She’s also enrolling in soccer in addition to San Soo, so that will take some juggling and she might not be able to manage both. Or more correctly, I might not have the family infrastructure that allows her to be transported reliably to events for both.
· Go hunting.
· Manage chickens, bees, possibly three turkeys I’ll be fattening for Thanksgiving, etc.
· Write some original fic.
· Keep up on my other fic.
· Watch Heroes Reborn and the Star Wars movie.