Things Unsaid
Title: Things Unsaid
Characters: Peter Petrelli/Sylar
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild violence
Word count: ~2,800
Setting: The Wall. This is a companion piece to means2bhuman’s Last Man On Earth and happens immediately after it.
Summary: Peter reacts to Sylar’s tender kiss and the realization of Sylar’s true feelings that comes with it.
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"When it had first happened, he hadn’t been sure what Sylar was getting at. Then he thought maybe the guy was just really poorly socialized. Or just unhinged by the idea that he’d been alone for three years. Or just really bored and looking for a diversion. And a lot of the time, Peter thought Sylar was flirting with him just to unnerve and upset him, intentionally setting Peter off because he thought it was funny. Just, just … just." --You did great at capturing...pretty much all the options of Sylar's there. Your verbage has great effect, too, as usual. "Oh, the guy's just anti-social, oh, he's just a crazy, oh, he just bored, oh, he's just a sadist." And for some odd reason I really enjoyed the 'justs' throughout. Which leads to a point that comes into play here, but something that I also wanted to mention about MBU as well:
I really enjoy the way you show...Peter thinking, the mechanics of his mind. Peter will literally get hung up about something and you write his mind as suddenly just grinding to a halt and him becoming almost paralyzed, sitting there sputtering, trying to oil the gears and get a thought going. We see that a lot in canon and its something I really appreciate about what you write.
"Sylar’s face pinched in worry and he slowly retreated backwards on the couch until he was at the other end." -- Loved this add. It gives scope and its a great picture as well. Such a little add, right? But I really like it!
"All of this … he’s crushing on me. He really … he really has a crush on me. He … he likes me. He really likes me! Like really likes me. Seriously likes me. Has liked me for a long time, apparently." -- Ah, the essence of Peter's mind...sounds very...high school! Its so cute, and I don't say that to demean him. Its showing his mind still stuck on the stick in his mental spokes. And then, finally, mustering up a reaction --"Shit! What the hell do I do about that?"
"That was what had made it so easy to dismiss his interest and semi-permanently friendzone the guy" -- Peter said 'friendzone'! I love it! That's hilarious to see it coming from a guy, but its so, so true. And Sylar's going 'what's the F-zone? Fuck zone?' I bet Sy has no clue what that means.
You were so subtle, sneaky, sneaky: "But … can I get past that? Do I want to get past that?" -- You did a lot of that. Putting positive reaction > reconsidering that reaction > plausible success > then snapping himself back to the question of 'Do I even want to?' That's telling Peter his answer before he says anything! (My more cracky-sided muse starts singing 'Listen to Your Heart').
I love how you addressed the L word option. Of course that's the first thing out of Peter's mouth once the smog clears. Crush...lo- like, he likes me, I wasn't thinking love, that's...could it?
"His voice started as uncertain and ended by hardening up fast to a hateful sneer." -- another good change, right? Adds depth to Sylar's half of the story.
"Sylar loves me? It made his heart beat faster just to think it. It made him flush and feel warm. It was a stupid reaction." -- Aww! No, Peter, that's perfectly normal. Peter's darling when he's hot and bothered!
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Doesn't he just get hung up on things sometimes? I loved your 'recalculating' joke! I've been working hard since August on Peter's thought process(es), when you really got onto me in Wall Verse Shorts to shed some light on that. It's very different from Sylar's. My idea of Sylar's thought processes is fairly close to what you have - he has a strong internal monologue and nearly everything he 'thinks' is said out loud in his mind. Even his emotions are given verbally to some extent, as he'll find mental words to express how he feels.
Peter doesn't 'think' about how he feels. He just feels it. So there's nothing there for me to put in first person thoughts, unless I'm doing it sideways by alluding to it in the manner of how Peter thinks of something else. Mostly I have to rely on narrative exposition to get across what he's feeling, by saying it directly or by describing his physical response and body language.
So I've been working on how to better illustrate what goes through his head.
"Sylar’s face pinched in worry and he slowly retreated backwards on the couch until he was at the other end." -- Loved this add. It gives scope and its a great picture as well. Such a little add, right? But I really like it!
Good! The adders for setting were pretty minor, but they really did make the piece pop a bit. And gave a lot of background to hook it up with yours. Sylar is withdrawing across 'Switzerland' there!
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