[004]
I hate it.
I hate arguing over the divorce with Mom. I hate when she starts on the do you want to move in here? thing when I ask why we can't still be a family. I really fucking hate it when she says we are a family even though we don't all live in the same house anymore.
I hate when Dad looks through the old photo albums from when he and Mom were still happy and in love. I hate seeing him and her and me and Shiz all looking so happy even days/weeks/months before Mom packed me and Shiz in the car and drove us to Grandma's while she went to her lawyer's office. I hate that I had to pick which parent I wanted to live with. I hate that Mom automatically assumed I wanted to leave Dad all alone like she wanted. Sometimes I really just hate her for that.
I hate having to try and be the strong one, because Dad needs one of us to be the adult and he can't always fill that role. I hate that people see all I do and think I'm awesome and strong and all kinds of responsible when all I wanna do sometimes is break down and cry.
I hate that I don't have anyone I can really do that around. Not even Dad.
Shizuka? I'm thinking about going to the park after classes let out on Saturday, but if you want to hang out I'll catch a bus and come see you instead. Wanna hang out without any parents around?