SUNSHINE

[galvanicgirl]

It could just be that the sun is shining but the world seems a little brighter and a little more manageable now. I think that my understanding of Japanese is increasing and I'm better able to express myself than I was before. I'm still annoyed by what I deem the "nihonjin dake club" (nihonjin dake means only japanese people) I think, sometimes that they don't really want you to be good at japanese, like it's some special club that we can't join. It's frustrating to me because I'm an american and i think we are much more inclusive (anyone who would argue with me on this obviously hasn't spent time in japan, they don't even call koreans who have been living here for generations japanese, they're koreans living in japan). The more time one spends here the more this lifestyle becomes yourown lifestyle but no matter how acclimatized one becomes you'll always be an outsider, someone who strangers will stare at and talk about because they assume you don't speak the language. Frustrating. it's difficult to be an outsider in a place that you accidentally call home.

But on a postive note, i didn't hate class today and i'm trying to keep trying but not take japanese so seriously. it'll all be fine, i can't do anything else but believe that if i'm going to stay sane.