over and over again

[galvanicgirl]

I keep listening to the same albums over and over again, I may be annoying Kim (new roomie) but I cannot stop. I had a distressing chat with Melville Sensei the other day that lasted forever and I was so glad when she got a phone call because my stupid self can't handle a) being bad at something b) having an authority figure tell me I'm bad at it, in Japanese. So, the phone call allowed me time to pull my shit together and not cry. I seriously don't want to cry in situations like that, it's when I most often lose it and I'd rather lose it alone, but nooooo, I don't cry when I'm alone, I clutch Bunny but don't cry, but face me off against a well meaning, if critisizing, authority figure and I'm a fricking water pot. geesh.

Hopefully with hard work I won't suck at Japanese, I'm will to try, really. I just procrastinate so bad these days and it's so cold outside of my room that I can't escape the distraction. damnit