the world outside of my control

[galvanicgirl]

I'm trying to prepare myself for Japan but it's become much more complicated than I expected it to be. My personal life is taking me in a different direction and I'm having such a hard time walking away from a relationship that has come to mean so much to me in such a short period of time. Last night I left and drove around my hometown at 2 in the morning trying not to cry, trying not to feel for him what I'm beginning to feel for him. I'm more myself with him than I've ever been with anyone else and it's hard to walk away from someone who makes you feel like who you are is exactly who they want to you to be, exactly the person that they want to be with.

I just didn't plan for this and I'm feeling very out of control, and it feels pretty good.