List for a Future Me VI: Sex Tips from a Disgruntled Vagina
Talk dirty to me.
-Get excited. No, I don't mean hard. I mean excited. I mean look at me like I am a golden goddess. I mean kiss me as if between my lips lies the breath of life itself. I mean grip me like I am the treasure you have spent decades hunting. I mean love me like I am the feast to end your every hunger.
-There is so much joy in power. Spread your legs. Hold me down. I'll call you names. Get on top. Or maybe I'll just tie you up. I love everything you do, but goddamn do it with everything you've got, because when you hear me moan and scream your name, admit it: you feel like a god.
-Just as with alcohol, the experience is best when you let go. So let your worries fall away, let your thoughts melt like butter in the sun, and everything but you and I, here wherever we are, let it all drift into oblivion. Because baby I want you, and nothing else.
-I cannot tell you enough how important it is to revel. People who put on stern faces and don't look you in the eye, they're missing out. Dance like everyone is watching, shout like everyone can hear, and love like the world is falling apart.
-No, really, I cannot tell you enough. Life has no purpose outside of joy, so devote your every second of life to its pursuit and acquisition. Devour it in the sunlight and drink it from the rain. Feed on laughter and gobble every smile. Shine, drip, giggle, and grin so you can give others the same chance at ecstasy.
-Life is about love. Tell your lovers how wonderful they are constantly and I don't care if it gets repetitive, because when it comes to affirmation, they and I would both rather be stuffed than starving. Tell your friends how much they mean to you because they are the rain to your river, the mountain snows that sustain you and keep you flowing day after day.
-Lastly, yes, the clitoris has parts. Many of them. They are important parts, and you should know them.
-Get excited. No, I don't mean hard. I mean excited. I mean look at me like I am a golden goddess. I mean kiss me as if between my lips lies the breath of life itself. I mean grip me like I am the treasure you have spent decades hunting. I mean love me like I am the feast to end your every hunger.
-There is so much joy in power. Spread your legs. Hold me down. I'll call you names. Get on top. Or maybe I'll just tie you up. I love everything you do, but goddamn do it with everything you've got, because when you hear me moan and scream your name, admit it: you feel like a god.
-Just as with alcohol, the experience is best when you let go. So let your worries fall away, let your thoughts melt like butter in the sun, and everything but you and I, here wherever we are, let it all drift into oblivion. Because baby I want you, and nothing else.
-I cannot tell you enough how important it is to revel. People who put on stern faces and don't look you in the eye, they're missing out. Dance like everyone is watching, shout like everyone can hear, and love like the world is falling apart.
-No, really, I cannot tell you enough. Life has no purpose outside of joy, so devote your every second of life to its pursuit and acquisition. Devour it in the sunlight and drink it from the rain. Feed on laughter and gobble every smile. Shine, drip, giggle, and grin so you can give others the same chance at ecstasy.
-Life is about love. Tell your lovers how wonderful they are constantly and I don't care if it gets repetitive, because when it comes to affirmation, they and I would both rather be stuffed than starving. Tell your friends how much they mean to you because they are the rain to your river, the mountain snows that sustain you and keep you flowing day after day.
-Lastly, yes, the clitoris has parts. Many of them. They are important parts, and you should know them.