George Carlin
The great stand-up comedian George Carlin died yesterday. He was as legendary in his right as his iconoclastic predecessor Lenny Bruce. I loved watching his performances on YouTube, and a mere seven weeks ago, on May 1st, I saw him in person at Worcester's Hanover Theatre and he was more than worth the fifty-one bucks I paid. His most famous routine, and the one that caused him so much flak decades ago, was the "Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television". They are, per Wikipedia scholarship:
Shit - The bird shit on the statue.
Piss - I have to piss like a race horse.
Fuck - Fuck you.
Cunt - She has a gorgeous cunt.
Cocksucker - Go to hell, you cocksucker.
Motherfucker - You are a motherfucker.
Tits - Hey, nice tits.
Later, Carlin referred to three additional "auxiliary" words:
Fart - I farted.
Turd - Who dropped a turd in the urinal?
Twat - Shave that hairy twat.
His religious and political attitudes are akin to mine, though, unlike him, I still do believe in voting. Per Wiki again:
Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith, Carlin often denounced the idea of God in interviews and performances, most notably with his "Invisible Man in the Sky" and "There Is No God" routines. In mockery, he invented the parody religion Frisbeetarianism for a newspaper contest. He defined it as the belief that when a person dies "his soul gets flung onto a roof, and just stays there", and cannot be retrieved.
Carlin also joked that he worshipped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because "he's a good actor", and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"
Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
One wishes the Bush administration had taken heed of Prophet Carlin's commandment.
R.I.P., George (Carlin, that is). And should you by surprise pass through that illusionary pearly gate, sing to St. Peter in Gregorian chant those celestial words:
SHIT, PISS, FUCK, CUNT, COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER, TITS!
Shit - The bird shit on the statue.
Piss - I have to piss like a race horse.
Fuck - Fuck you.
Cunt - She has a gorgeous cunt.
Cocksucker - Go to hell, you cocksucker.
Motherfucker - You are a motherfucker.
Tits - Hey, nice tits.
Later, Carlin referred to three additional "auxiliary" words:
Fart - I farted.
Turd - Who dropped a turd in the urinal?
Twat - Shave that hairy twat.
His religious and political attitudes are akin to mine, though, unlike him, I still do believe in voting. Per Wiki again:
Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith, Carlin often denounced the idea of God in interviews and performances, most notably with his "Invisible Man in the Sky" and "There Is No God" routines. In mockery, he invented the parody religion Frisbeetarianism for a newspaper contest. He defined it as the belief that when a person dies "his soul gets flung onto a roof, and just stays there", and cannot be retrieved.
Carlin also joked that he worshipped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because "he's a good actor", and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"
Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
One wishes the Bush administration had taken heed of Prophet Carlin's commandment.
R.I.P., George (Carlin, that is). And should you by surprise pass through that illusionary pearly gate, sing to St. Peter in Gregorian chant those celestial words:
SHIT, PISS, FUCK, CUNT, COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER, TITS!