So what do you weigh in coffeepounds?
I bought two cans and two bags of coffee this morning with generous coupon savings at Stop & Shop. I began to reflect on the amounts they now contain. At one time it was rather easy to buy a true pound of coffee. I remember when Maxwell House and Autocrat sold cans of coffee that were 16 actual ounces or one actual real pound. Over the years coffee marketers have reduced the amount while increasing the prices so that my remembered image of a "pound" of coffee has now in fact descended to 13 ounces, 12 ounces, and 10 ounces.
Using a kind of perverse logic, I have coined the term coffeepound, not found in the standard avoirdupois system. For example, if a person weighs 250 pounds, he could choose to express it in coffeepounds instead, and at 10 ounces of blubber per real pound he would now weigh about 156 coffeepounds, which sounds a good deal better and healthier. I would be only 115 coffeepounds or, better yet, 115 espressopounds, since I drink molti espressi. Think of the beneficial psychological advantage of all us weight-watchers in reducing out weight with the stroke of a calculator.
In Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Antonio comes to Shylock for a loan to finance his friend Bassanio's trip to Belmont. Shylock offers to lend the money without interest, but insists instead that a pound of flesh be cut from Antonio's body should he default on the repayment. Antonio agrees, sure it is all a joke. When Antonio is later, through a misfortune, unable to repay, Shylock insists he should receive the flesh as agreed, even though it would kill Antonio. Now, that flesh would only amount to .625 coffeepounds, and Antonio might survive if, say, he elected to cut off a large boil, a few warts, and a foreskin. Not so bad really.
Using a kind of perverse logic, I have coined the term coffeepound, not found in the standard avoirdupois system. For example, if a person weighs 250 pounds, he could choose to express it in coffeepounds instead, and at 10 ounces of blubber per real pound he would now weigh about 156 coffeepounds, which sounds a good deal better and healthier. I would be only 115 coffeepounds or, better yet, 115 espressopounds, since I drink molti espressi. Think of the beneficial psychological advantage of all us weight-watchers in reducing out weight with the stroke of a calculator.
In Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Antonio comes to Shylock for a loan to finance his friend Bassanio's trip to Belmont. Shylock offers to lend the money without interest, but insists instead that a pound of flesh be cut from Antonio's body should he default on the repayment. Antonio agrees, sure it is all a joke. When Antonio is later, through a misfortune, unable to repay, Shylock insists he should receive the flesh as agreed, even though it would kill Antonio. Now, that flesh would only amount to .625 coffeepounds, and Antonio might survive if, say, he elected to cut off a large boil, a few warts, and a foreskin. Not so bad really.