"Do not lose yourself in the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. Do not get caught in your anger, worries or fears. Come back to the present moment, and touch life deeply". - Thich Nhat Hanh, from The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching
I'm trying very hard today to be present in the moment. While mowing the yard this morning, I constantly had to redirect my attention to the task at hand. It is particularly easy for me to be distracted by the numerous projects I'd like to complete: getting all the weeding done (talk about an exercise in futility!), building the fire pit, staining the fence, etc. It was quite difficult for me to try not to think about the next task, to plan the next venture. It was even harder not to judge myself by my progress (or lack thereof) in each task. Nearly every thought was, "I want to
", followed by a recrimination for not having gotten to said task sooner. After all, I've been planning some of these things for months, if not years.
The thing is, I don't need constant reminders of all the things I am not doing or not doing well. I don't want to motivate myself through guilt any more. I know what needs done. It is just a matter of prioritizing (thanks,
naamah_darling !). and right now my priorities are to focus on one task at a time and complete it to the best of my abilities. I need to remind myself that there will very often be interruptions or delays. I can't change that, so letting my anger and frustration rule will only make me feel worse.
So after I finished mowing the back section of the yard, I decided to play with the kids. We had a good time playing trains and swinging, then came inside for lunch. I did get a few things done today and the day is not yet over. I also had a bit of quality time with my cute boys.