(no subject)
I have a friend.
Our relationship is complicated by the fact that we didn't really have a relationship before a hook-up on the rebound that led to a summer of passionate lovemaking and little else.
So now, it feels like we should be close. And in many ways we are. You don't spend that much time sleeping with someone without getting to know them quite well on some level or other. I find that on an emotional level, I understand her very well; I can tell her moods, I know how she reacts when she's happy or angry or sad; in some ways I think I know even better than she does what really motivates her. And I think she has the same advantage over me. Weird.
But there's so much that we're totally clueless about when it comes to each other. Lots of very basic and more or less important things went totally undiscussed during our liaison - because they didn't matter. The big questions were things like "would you like me to hand-feed you strawberries while you lie on the bed?" and not "what are your political and religious views?".
I house- and dog-sat for her this weekend, and she came back tonight and we hung out. We haven't been sleeping together since, oh, about 9 months ago; we stopped because it was getting overly complicated. It was a good decision, as I even now continue to find out. Because in some ways, we really rub each other the wrong way.
I tell her I still have to get around to registering to vote in King County. She reminds me that I could have done so during Fremont Fair, because there were all these people walking around registering people to vote. I reply that A. at the time, if I was out on the streets of Fremont, it was probably because I was on break from work and really, REALLY didn't want to talk to anyone about anything; and B. I didn't relish getting into the whole registering-to-vote process and conversation only to tell the chap that I'm not a Democrat, and get a dirty look and hostile tone for my troubles, because this is Seattle and the assumption is that if you're not a Democrat, you're automatically a Republican and therefore either evil or pitifully stupid.
Her only response to this was to wear a very puzzled expression and say quietly, "You're not a Democrat?"
Then when I started explaining my politics, she didn't want to talk about it anymore. The ride home was pretty awkward. Especially since we were listening to some music she had playing, and at some point she's like "You recognize this song?" and it's only after the artist starts singing the lyrics that I figure out it's "Come On Eileen", a song I know of, but don't know that well nor have any special attachment to. When I communicate this to her, she abruptly changes the song and starts snapping at me. "How about this song? Is this one OK? Because I can change it if it's not."
Fucking sue me for not being into, nor especially knowledgeable about, pop music. What the hell.
Anyway. It's clear to me that we don't know each other as well as we may have thought we did, and we don't always get along. Which isn't too weird I guess - probably par for the course for a lot of human relationships. I probably shouldn't let it bother me.
But what does bother me is that sometimes she seems so cookie-cutter to me. In many ways, she fits the "hip young liberally-minded Seattleite" stereotype - votes Democrat, guzzles coffee, mercilessly and unthinkingly rips on religion, views political conservatives as automatically wrong and morally corrupt. I'm not trying to be an appologist for anything in particular - all I'm looking for here is a little fucking open-mindedness: from somebody who A. sees herself as independent and free-thinking, or B. is part of a culture which is SUPPOSED to be the MOST open-minded segment of our society.
Is that too much to ask?
Am I still in love with her, and living in constant denial of the fact?
On both counts, maybe.
Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I don't blog much these days. I don't have much to blog *about*.
Our relationship is complicated by the fact that we didn't really have a relationship before a hook-up on the rebound that led to a summer of passionate lovemaking and little else.
So now, it feels like we should be close. And in many ways we are. You don't spend that much time sleeping with someone without getting to know them quite well on some level or other. I find that on an emotional level, I understand her very well; I can tell her moods, I know how she reacts when she's happy or angry or sad; in some ways I think I know even better than she does what really motivates her. And I think she has the same advantage over me. Weird.
But there's so much that we're totally clueless about when it comes to each other. Lots of very basic and more or less important things went totally undiscussed during our liaison - because they didn't matter. The big questions were things like "would you like me to hand-feed you strawberries while you lie on the bed?" and not "what are your political and religious views?".
I house- and dog-sat for her this weekend, and she came back tonight and we hung out. We haven't been sleeping together since, oh, about 9 months ago; we stopped because it was getting overly complicated. It was a good decision, as I even now continue to find out. Because in some ways, we really rub each other the wrong way.
I tell her I still have to get around to registering to vote in King County. She reminds me that I could have done so during Fremont Fair, because there were all these people walking around registering people to vote. I reply that A. at the time, if I was out on the streets of Fremont, it was probably because I was on break from work and really, REALLY didn't want to talk to anyone about anything; and B. I didn't relish getting into the whole registering-to-vote process and conversation only to tell the chap that I'm not a Democrat, and get a dirty look and hostile tone for my troubles, because this is Seattle and the assumption is that if you're not a Democrat, you're automatically a Republican and therefore either evil or pitifully stupid.
Her only response to this was to wear a very puzzled expression and say quietly, "You're not a Democrat?"
Then when I started explaining my politics, she didn't want to talk about it anymore. The ride home was pretty awkward. Especially since we were listening to some music she had playing, and at some point she's like "You recognize this song?" and it's only after the artist starts singing the lyrics that I figure out it's "Come On Eileen", a song I know of, but don't know that well nor have any special attachment to. When I communicate this to her, she abruptly changes the song and starts snapping at me. "How about this song? Is this one OK? Because I can change it if it's not."
Fucking sue me for not being into, nor especially knowledgeable about, pop music. What the hell.
Anyway. It's clear to me that we don't know each other as well as we may have thought we did, and we don't always get along. Which isn't too weird I guess - probably par for the course for a lot of human relationships. I probably shouldn't let it bother me.
But what does bother me is that sometimes she seems so cookie-cutter to me. In many ways, she fits the "hip young liberally-minded Seattleite" stereotype - votes Democrat, guzzles coffee, mercilessly and unthinkingly rips on religion, views political conservatives as automatically wrong and morally corrupt. I'm not trying to be an appologist for anything in particular - all I'm looking for here is a little fucking open-mindedness: from somebody who A. sees herself as independent and free-thinking, or B. is part of a culture which is SUPPOSED to be the MOST open-minded segment of our society.
Is that too much to ask?
Am I still in love with her, and living in constant denial of the fact?
On both counts, maybe.
Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I don't blog much these days. I don't have much to blog *about*.