{infinite; ot7} redemption (o7/?)
Title: redemption (7/?)
Fandom: infinite + ukiss, block b, etc.
Pairing: various
Word count: ~4000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lee Howon has long accepted his life as a Beta, at the bottom of South Korea's social class. However, the government gives him and his family an opportunity to join the Alpha class, through the Omega Plan at Sanghwan Academy, but this chance isn't as wonderful as it seems.
A/N: another hard chapter to hit 4k :c basically i have no excuse now long this took...! we may point fingers at the exo fic i so sneakily slipped into my masterlist, or all of the road signs and grammar ive been studying these days, or maybe just the lack of concentration and motivation i get when i stare at this fic. all i can say is im sorry and i think i got my mojo back bcos there is writing going on as we speak! ty for sticking with this fic ;;
redemption
Howon feels even worse the next day, when Dongwoo greets everyone happily at breakfast the next day and sits down beside Howon as if nothing happened, despite the swollen red rimming his eyes. Evidently, Dongwoo has moved on, so Howon pushes the matter out of his mind and lets them shift back to their normal friendship, the best they can. His mind is quickly consumed by their second monthly exam in three days--the idea of spending all Saturday morning prepping his appearance and then struggling to make "friends" with more Alphas kicks his nerves into overdrive. There won't be a Jungsoo or Donghae this time, he can tell. He hasn't even had the opportunity to start working out, because Siwon had yet to reply to the email Howon had sent to him the night before, asking to join his physical fitness class for a few weeks.
"I sent an email about a new dance practice room to Tablo and Mithra, by the way," Dongwoo says conversationally, as if he knows what Howon is dwelling on just by looking at the crease between his eyebrows. "They said they'd have one constructed and ready for us by the end of next week.
"Just like that?" Howon asks incredulously, his hand freezing before the forkful of sausage can reach his mouth.
Dongwoo shrugs. "Apparently so. We won't have to impose on the Level 2's any longer."
"That's good," Howon says with a nod of agreement, eating the sausage and swallowing. "Will Hyukjae move classes somewhere else then?" he asks, unable to think of anything else to say.
Dongwoo looks at him, his expression closed off. "No," he says flatly. "They'll be cancelled for the time being."
Howon is subdued for the rest of breakfast, half-listening to Sungyeol and Sungjong speculate over who they will meet on Saturday. Sungjong's certainty it will be one of the idol singers he learns the dances of so intently brings an unwilling smile to Howon's lips.
When it's time to put their trays away and go to Alpha Education, Howon draws close to Sungjong's side, craving the reassurance Sungjong can bring with a mere touch; as if he knows exactly how he feels, Sungjong looks away from Sungyeol even as the other boy is talking in order to loop his arm with Howon's and flash him a comforting grin. Dongwoo walks with Woohyun and Myungsoo instead, tugging Sunggyu along despite the slight aversion on Sunggyu's face at their company. When they're walking, however, Dongwoo catches Howon's eye and looks away with a frown.
"Just another party," Tablo says casually at the end of class, turning off the projector that was just displaying the lecture on the textile industry. "There won't be as many of them this time, and they're...interesting." He smirks at the seven of them, hanging onto his every word in order to do well at the monthly exams in a way they never do for normal lessons.
Mithra rolls his eyes. "You wouldn't believe how much they whine about having to attend these events. Especially when they were Omegas themselves once."
"Especially when they always have fun and eat all of our food, you mean?" Tablo asks in reply. "What a bunch of kids."
They sound bearable, but Howon still has to suppress shudders of dread. His anxiety is obvious in the days approaching Saturday, Myungsoo even volunteering to give him a massage the night before. If it had been any other occasion, Howon would have declined, but he lets himself draw comfort from the strong pressure of Myungsoo's fingers moving across his shoulders methodically, kneading at the tense knots until they begin to subside. Everyone has gathered in Dongwoo and Sungjong's room this time, and Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Sungyeol hurriedly line up when they see Myungsoo and Howon. "I'll continue yours later," Myungsoo says to Howon good-naturedly, and Howon allows Sunggyu to take his spot.
Howon sits on the closer bed and feels Sungjong curl up against his side, squishing one of Dongwoo's stuffed animals--a blue and orange giraffe--between them. Sungjong laughs and moves away momentarily to pull it free and into his arms.
Everyone was done with homework surprisingly quickly--Professor Boa and Professor Seunggi avoid giving too much homework the Friday before a monthly exam, while Tablo and Mithra delight in it--and decided just to relax in each other's company and unwind before a stressful day tomorrow. Amid the conversations and laughter, Howon lies back on the bed, throwing an arm out across the blankets and hearing Sungjong yawn sleepily as he presses close against Howon's chest again. They are both asleep quickly.
☬
When Howon wakes, disorientated and cringing at the uncomfortable crick in his neck, the first thing he registers is tousled black hair, which he has to blink out of his eyes; the color confuses him at first, fooling him into thinking he's returned home and he'll comb his black hair hurriedly before he goes down to the kitchen where his mother will be waiting for him, bearing breakfast and a warm smile. Where his father is pulling on his boots, where Hojae has already risen and is scarfing down food as quickly as possible. Where Hojun is pressed against his side sleepily, snuffling into his shirt.
But then he remembers with a start that his hair is brown now, so he must be at school, where breakfast is laid out on impersonal trays on buffet lines and his family is miles and miles away. As if from very far away, he can hear the sound of the shower running, which is odd--Myungsoo usually waits to shower second if it's the morning, unwilling to deal with the first few minutes of scalding heat Howon has learned to enjoy. The head of a toy giraffe Howon vaguely recognizes is jammed against his side, not unlike the sharp elbow of the arm Sungjong doesn't have curled around his neck. Howon instinctively shifts away, unfortunately jostling Sungjong awake as well. "Howon?" Sungjong mumbles, covering his mouth when he yawns.
"Did I fall asleep here?" Howon asks in confusion, his eyes unused to the general darkness of the room after growing accustomed to the sunshine filtering through the window Myungsoo always opens. "What happened?"
Sungjong shrugs, laughing softly when his shoulder bumps into Howon's jaw lightly. "I guess the others decided not to wake us up when it was time to leave."
The other bed, Sungjong's, has been slept in, the blankets left unmade and pillow still bearing the indent of a person's head. Belatedly, Howon realizes the bed he slept the night in belongs to Dongwoo, the other boy's distinctive scent surrounding him once he pulls away from Sungjong and sits up. A blanket slides off of his body, pooling in his lap, and he pulls at a loose thread in the material thoughtfully, a bit guiltily; Dongwoo must have thrown it over him and Sungjong after they fell asleep.
"Ah, you're awake?" Dongwoo asks, strolling out of the bathroom wearing only boxers and a wifebeater. His hair, usually wild and messy, lies flat against his head, the lingering water darkening it and trailing down the column of his throat.
Howon blinks blearily, trying to focus on Dongwoo's face instead of his broad shoulders or the cut of his collarbone. "Yeah. Sorry for crashing here last night, I guess I was really tired."
"Don't worry about it," Dongwoo says easily, pulling open his closet door and taking out a sweatshirt and jeans. His bad mood seems to have been washed away down the drain along with the dirt and bubbles, because he's back, completely, to the good-natured boy Howon knows, his movements relaxed and easy. Howon barely catches the tune of the song he's humming under his breath as he rummages around for a belt.
"I should be going now," Howon says, apologizing again and trying to scramble up to his feet only to be restrained by Sungjong's hands and pout.
"So soon? You could just shower here and go down to breakfast with us," Sungjong says pleadingly. "It's not have to go back to get your clothes if we're changing for the event anyways. Dongwoo can lend you some things."
Even when Dongwoo turns around, gesturing to the open closet, Howon hesitates. "I--I don't know," Howon says uncomfortably. He limply allows Sungjong to push him into the bathroom, eyeing the condensation still clinging to the shower door from Dongwoo's shower, but obeys in spite of his weak protests.
When Howon finds himself in one of Dongwoo's vividly colored jackets and a pair of sweatpants, having had opted to wear his own undershirt from yesterday underneath, he shifts unconsciously in an attempt to adjust to tighter clothes, the cloth stretched across his chest snugly; the clothes are so different from his modest wardrobe of dark colors and comfortable fabrics, a bit worn. In his reflection, he can see Dongwoo staring at him with an odd look in his eyes, but decides not to ask about the peculiar scrutiny. With Dongwoo back to normal, Howon would hate if something he said sparked bad sentiments again.
They go down to breakfast together, where Sungyeol delightfully makes more than one inappropriate comment at the sight of Howon dressed in Dongwoo's clothes and Howon hides behind Sunggyu to avoid the Level 2's. Thankfully, there is Korean food on the menu for breakfast instead of the foreign kinds Howon's tongue is still trying to get used to, and the familiar tastes of rice, kimchi jjigae, and egg rolls soothe Howon's frayed nerves. When they go down the South Hallway and into the shops again, Howon is able to keep himself together as he gets his hair done and changes into his formal wear. The hairstyle he picks is the same as last month's, but Tablo recommends something more casual this time around and so Howon decides a black dress shirt and slacks, accented with a skinny white tie. The shirt is just as uncomfortable as Dongwoo's, the crisp material freshly ironed, and he has to spend some time to find the shoes he wore last month.
"Are you ready?" Dongwoo asks, leaning against the doorway and peering inside. One look can tell Howon that Dongwoo already is, blond hair combed back against his head and held by slick hair gel, the first few buttons of his white dress shirt left open. A black tie is draped around his neck but not pulled into a formal knot like Howon's.
"Yes, almost," Howon says, fumbling on the laces of his left shoe. He glances up at Dongwoo, checking if he's still waiting for him, and glancing past him to see Sungjong talking to Myungsoo animatedly at the door of another dressing room. A red sweater vest hugs Sungjong's tiny frame, the knitted threads creating a simple but classy checkered pattern, and his hair is tousled and casual. In contrast, Myungsoo is wearing a suit jacket with his dress shirt, silvery lapels smooth against his chest, and his hair has been straightened carefully again only to be pulled back in a way that exposes his forehead.
The laces finally obey his fingers, and Howon pulls the knot tight. He stands without tripping over his own feet and joins Dongwoo in the doorway, shoving his fingers as deeply as he can so they won't give away his panic. Despite the lack of conversation, he can tell Dongwoo is watching him carefully, hoping to prevent another breakdown. Howon gives him a reassuring smile that Dongwoo returns instantly.
When the others are finished getting dressed, Howon can see Dongwoo is dressed the most casually, especially in comparison to Sunggyu's full suit. The collar of Woohyun's shirt dips down revealingly, but he refuses to change out of it. Tablo leads them down the hallway and into the ballroom, just like last time.
The first thing Howon notices is the ceiling again, rising so far above their heads that he feels uneasy, the opposite of claustrophobia. The second thing he notices, which immediately causes the discouraging taste of bile to rise up his throat, is that there are half as manly Alphas as last month. Howon counts five strangers milling around the food, five people for the seven of them, and wonders if this is the first monthly exam he will fail.
It doesn't help they are evidently a tightly knit group of friends, laughing at inside jokes and touching with an ease born of much time together. Woohyun is the only one who easily, almost nonchalantly integrates himself into the group at first; he has managed to pull one of the boys away from the group in the first ten minutes, no doubt his attention caught by the delicate features and a strong jawline, the confidence this boy carries around him like a cloak. When they laugh together at a joke Woohyun cracks, the boy crumples against Woohyun, clinging with slender fingers, his blond hair splayed across Woohyun's shoulder.
Howon eyes the other four uneasily. A kind-looking boy with honey blond streaking through his brown hair is talking quietly to Sunggyu, and Dongwoo has approached the muscular boy with three shades of color tipping his bangs. The other two keep to themselves, a tall and solemn one that contrasts with his skinny, almost pretty companion, black hair to reddish brown, formal wear to something one would wear out on the streets. As if he can sense Howon looking, the last boy glances up into his eyes, guarded and hesitant.
"This is Jonghyun," Dongwoo says when Howon joins them, handing them a glass of fruit punch each from the refreshments table, hoping it is an adequate segway into the conversation.
"It's nice to meet you," Jonghyun says with a grin, shaking Howon's offered hand firmly. "I hear you dance too?"
"A bit," Howon says awkwardly. "I'm not very good."
"That's what they all say," teases Jonghyun. "Kibum and Taemin both like to dance, but they're never modest." He gestures at the blond boy chattering with Woohyun, then the skinny boy who stared back at Howon, as he says their names.
"Who are the other two?" Howon asks, curious.
"Jinki is over there," Jonghyun says, pointing at the boy standing with Sunggyu. "He has a phenomenal voice, and he plays piano on the side. He did his best to teach Taemin but Taemin spends all his time dancing."
"Dancing?" Dongwoo repeats brightly as he tunes back into the conversation again, happy with this subject change. "Hip hop?"
Jonghyun shrugs. "He can dance to anything. That giant over there is Minho. He plays any sport imaginable and creams his opponent every time, so I don't like playing with him! Do you want to talk to them?"
Howon and Dongwoo agree, and Howon watches with a bit of awe as Dongwoo pulls the taciturn Minho away from Taemin and into conversation about their favorite soccer teams. It's not a topic he can contribute to, never had even watched a soccer game broadcasted on television, so he turns to the others instead.
"Taemin, this is Howon," Jonghyun introduces. "And Howon, meet Taemin. He's a brat that terrorizes my life, but he's got everyone wrapped around his pinky finger."
Taemin pouts and punches Jonghyun in the bicep. The sweet smile he turns onto Howon startles him, reminiscent of Hojun and Sungjong but hardly the same innocence. With an ease born of a lively social life, Jonghyun steers conversation to the topic of dance, and Howon nods along to their words, doing his best to find something worth adding.
A look around shows Sungjong has inserted himself next to Kibum, to Woohyun's visible dismay. Judging by the hand movements they're doing, flourishes of the hands and flamboyantly flipping imaginary long hair over their shoulders with no sense of shame, Sungjong has found another fan of girl group dances. Sungyeol has a vague look of pain from where he stands next to Sungjong, blatantly ignoring Woohyun with a rigidity that shakes Howon.
Jonghyun follows his gaze and laughs loudly. "Looks like Kibum got another one--this happened last year with Kevin Woo."
"Ah, I know Kevin," Howon says. "You mean the girl group dancing?"
"Yes," Jonghyun says with a long-suffering sigh, despite the curve of his fond smile. "I thought Taemin and Kevin would be enough." Taemin, Howon notices, has wandered away to join Jinki and Sunggyu. Instead of joining the conversation, he examines the spread of food on the closest table, collecting a handful of each snack and pouring himself a cup of soda. His plate is awfully full for someone so skinny.
"Sungjong has liked those dances since I met him," Howon says. "He's a lost cause."
Jonghyun laughs again, the mirth coming naturally to someone so good-natured.
They discuss dance for a while, and Howon asks after Jonghyun's own hobbies, which turn out to be singing, playing guitar, and working out. "I'll leave the real teaching to Siwon, but I can give you a few tips about it," he offers. Howon scrambles to find paper and a pen only to realize his pockets are empty, not his own.
"Don't worry, I'll email them to you tonight," Jonghyun says. "What's your last name?"
"Lee," Howon tells him with a bit of confusion as he watches Jonghyun pull a ballpoint pen out of his own pocket and scrawl Howon's exact email across his forearm. He recognizes the account Sanghwan gave him, his last and first names making the username easy to predict. It's the same for every student, apparently.
Jonghyun takes him to talk to the others at least once, to Howon's reluctant relief. Kibum is slightly terrifying, his vivid, pink suit and sharp eyes knocking Howon off balance--it's no surprise that Woohyun approves of this boy. Jinki, in contrast, is gentle and calming, offering Howon a friendly smile that he can't help but return. They talk for a bit longer before Taemin whines for Jinki's attention again, and Jonghyun completes the circle to greet Minho briefly, who is still engaged with Dongwoo. They don't seem to have much in common but Minho is still polite and cordial. Howon decides he likes Jonghyun best.
At the end of the party, the two groups, Alpha and Omega, trade thorough goodbyes, Kibum and Woohyun pulling out their cell phones to exchange phone numbers to solidify their promise of future contact. Howon walks back to the tuxedo shop with Dongwoo and Sungjong, the latter especially excited to found another person with the same music taste as him.
Howon happily changes out of the dress shirt and slacks into casual wear, pulling on his comfortingly familiar wifebeater and Dongwoo's sweatpants, deciding against the ill-fitting sweater. Revealing so much of his shoulders and arms outside of his dorm makes Howon feel self-conscious, but Sungjong and Sungyeol give him compliments that Howon tries to relax at. Jonghyun gave him plenty of advice to regain his muscles back with, maybe even enough that he doesn't need Siwon's class and can go back to dance with Hyukjae and Dongwoo.
He returns straight to his dorm room but invites Dongwoo and Sungjong in. They all notice immediately that Myungsoo beat Howon to their room, the other boy curled up under his blankets and face half-buried in the pillow despite his damp hair. Unlike the others, Myungsoo had spent time talking to Woohyun and Key's group, but flitted around to visit the others before settling with Jinki and Sunggyu, putting in a friendly remark here and there but mostly listening. It's a skill obviously cultivated from plenty of time around Alphas, the way he smiles, the expression just almost genuine, and directs all conversation away from himself and to his companion. The social interaction has obviously taken its toll, judging by the way Myungsoo didn't even flinch or stir when Dongwoo accidentally knocked a math textbook off of their bedside table. Sungyeol, on the other hand, had lingered uncertainly beside Sungjong the whole time, doing his best to socialize enough to pass but personally disadvantaged by his chosen company.
Stretching and yawning, Howon contemplates taking a nap before dinner as well, but Dongwoo persuades him outside. They go through the orchard, which is now stripped of leaves, to play a game or two of soccer despite the cold bite in the air. Sungjong declines to join again, huddled in the shade of a tree, and cheers them on equally. Neither of them trip this time, and Dongwoo wins by a single point.
"Good game," Howon gasps, wrapping his arms around his stomach and bending over to catch his breath. The ground is dirty, stirred up by their feet as they played, and soggy from morning frost.
Dongwoo nods in agreement, breathing hard, but he reaches out a warm hand to grasp Howon's. "It was great," he says. "You're a good soccer player."
"Not really," Howon says sheepishly.
Sungjong approaches then, catching onto the tail end of their exchange. "You guys are both good," he says with a sincere smile, clinging onto Howon because he doesn't look as sweaty as Dongwoo does. "Can we go inside now? I'm cold."
They nod, warmed by the physical exercise, and Howon allows Sungjong to drag him back into the school, where they find themselves going down to the South Hallway as is their habit. "Maybe we can dance today, and Kevin is there," Sungjong says eagerly.
The three of them walk all the way to the dance rooms only to find the entire section closed for construction, an extra pathway opened up to make sure the gym and the libraries are still accessible. "I can't believe they have enough money to just insert another room into the building," Howon says softly, staring at the enormous panels of mirror set aside from the room in progress.
"I guess it's nothing out of the ordinary for them, if they did it last year too," Dongwoo says.
Howon can't take his eyes away from the construction site. "It seems like an excessive use of money, that's all." He frowns, imagining all of the families in his village that the money going into this project could have fed.
"Doesn't it?" Sungjong agrees absently, and pulls on the hem of Howon's shirt. "Let's go."
They walk back the way they came, into the main part of the building where the cafeteria is located. Besides the staff milling around the edges of the room, Betas that avert their eyes resolutely when the three of them pass by, the room is completely empty. Howon stares at the long tables in confusion, completely bare of occupants, even in the other levels. "Where is everyone?"
"They must be caught up in their own monthly exams," Dongwoo says, following Howon's gaze. The sight unsettles Howon more than it should, a reminder of how easily things can disappear, how the stability he found in people like Soohyun can leave him. It only takes three exams before an Omega has to pick their bags and return home in shame.
Dinner ends up being a quiet affair because they decide to get sandwiches in the cafe instead. As Dongwoo greets the Beta behind the cashier with a friendly smile, Sungjong claims the table by the window again while the other two can get food. He babbles appreciatively about the view to Dongwoo and Howon, who do more nodding along that doesn't seem to have the same lack of interest it does at the social events.
The rest of the night is spent in their own rooms, finishing the bit of homework they have left and turning in early. As Howon rummages through the closet as quietly as possible in search of an extra blanket, he realizes that he's comfortable here, at Sanghwan, with these boys and these classes and even these parties. For once, he just might have a good winter.
Fandom: infinite + ukiss, block b, etc.
Pairing: various
Word count: ~4000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lee Howon has long accepted his life as a Beta, at the bottom of South Korea's social class. However, the government gives him and his family an opportunity to join the Alpha class, through the Omega Plan at Sanghwan Academy, but this chance isn't as wonderful as it seems.
A/N: another hard chapter to hit 4k :c basically i have no excuse now long this took...! we may point fingers at the exo fic i so sneakily slipped into my masterlist, or all of the road signs and grammar ive been studying these days, or maybe just the lack of concentration and motivation i get when i stare at this fic. all i can say is im sorry and i think i got my mojo back bcos there is writing going on as we speak! ty for sticking with this fic ;;
redemption
Howon feels even worse the next day, when Dongwoo greets everyone happily at breakfast the next day and sits down beside Howon as if nothing happened, despite the swollen red rimming his eyes. Evidently, Dongwoo has moved on, so Howon pushes the matter out of his mind and lets them shift back to their normal friendship, the best they can. His mind is quickly consumed by their second monthly exam in three days--the idea of spending all Saturday morning prepping his appearance and then struggling to make "friends" with more Alphas kicks his nerves into overdrive. There won't be a Jungsoo or Donghae this time, he can tell. He hasn't even had the opportunity to start working out, because Siwon had yet to reply to the email Howon had sent to him the night before, asking to join his physical fitness class for a few weeks.
"I sent an email about a new dance practice room to Tablo and Mithra, by the way," Dongwoo says conversationally, as if he knows what Howon is dwelling on just by looking at the crease between his eyebrows. "They said they'd have one constructed and ready for us by the end of next week.
"Just like that?" Howon asks incredulously, his hand freezing before the forkful of sausage can reach his mouth.
Dongwoo shrugs. "Apparently so. We won't have to impose on the Level 2's any longer."
"That's good," Howon says with a nod of agreement, eating the sausage and swallowing. "Will Hyukjae move classes somewhere else then?" he asks, unable to think of anything else to say.
Dongwoo looks at him, his expression closed off. "No," he says flatly. "They'll be cancelled for the time being."
Howon is subdued for the rest of breakfast, half-listening to Sungyeol and Sungjong speculate over who they will meet on Saturday. Sungjong's certainty it will be one of the idol singers he learns the dances of so intently brings an unwilling smile to Howon's lips.
When it's time to put their trays away and go to Alpha Education, Howon draws close to Sungjong's side, craving the reassurance Sungjong can bring with a mere touch; as if he knows exactly how he feels, Sungjong looks away from Sungyeol even as the other boy is talking in order to loop his arm with Howon's and flash him a comforting grin. Dongwoo walks with Woohyun and Myungsoo instead, tugging Sunggyu along despite the slight aversion on Sunggyu's face at their company. When they're walking, however, Dongwoo catches Howon's eye and looks away with a frown.
"Just another party," Tablo says casually at the end of class, turning off the projector that was just displaying the lecture on the textile industry. "There won't be as many of them this time, and they're...interesting." He smirks at the seven of them, hanging onto his every word in order to do well at the monthly exams in a way they never do for normal lessons.
Mithra rolls his eyes. "You wouldn't believe how much they whine about having to attend these events. Especially when they were Omegas themselves once."
"Especially when they always have fun and eat all of our food, you mean?" Tablo asks in reply. "What a bunch of kids."
They sound bearable, but Howon still has to suppress shudders of dread. His anxiety is obvious in the days approaching Saturday, Myungsoo even volunteering to give him a massage the night before. If it had been any other occasion, Howon would have declined, but he lets himself draw comfort from the strong pressure of Myungsoo's fingers moving across his shoulders methodically, kneading at the tense knots until they begin to subside. Everyone has gathered in Dongwoo and Sungjong's room this time, and Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Sungyeol hurriedly line up when they see Myungsoo and Howon. "I'll continue yours later," Myungsoo says to Howon good-naturedly, and Howon allows Sunggyu to take his spot.
Howon sits on the closer bed and feels Sungjong curl up against his side, squishing one of Dongwoo's stuffed animals--a blue and orange giraffe--between them. Sungjong laughs and moves away momentarily to pull it free and into his arms.
Everyone was done with homework surprisingly quickly--Professor Boa and Professor Seunggi avoid giving too much homework the Friday before a monthly exam, while Tablo and Mithra delight in it--and decided just to relax in each other's company and unwind before a stressful day tomorrow. Amid the conversations and laughter, Howon lies back on the bed, throwing an arm out across the blankets and hearing Sungjong yawn sleepily as he presses close against Howon's chest again. They are both asleep quickly.
☬
When Howon wakes, disorientated and cringing at the uncomfortable crick in his neck, the first thing he registers is tousled black hair, which he has to blink out of his eyes; the color confuses him at first, fooling him into thinking he's returned home and he'll comb his black hair hurriedly before he goes down to the kitchen where his mother will be waiting for him, bearing breakfast and a warm smile. Where his father is pulling on his boots, where Hojae has already risen and is scarfing down food as quickly as possible. Where Hojun is pressed against his side sleepily, snuffling into his shirt.
But then he remembers with a start that his hair is brown now, so he must be at school, where breakfast is laid out on impersonal trays on buffet lines and his family is miles and miles away. As if from very far away, he can hear the sound of the shower running, which is odd--Myungsoo usually waits to shower second if it's the morning, unwilling to deal with the first few minutes of scalding heat Howon has learned to enjoy. The head of a toy giraffe Howon vaguely recognizes is jammed against his side, not unlike the sharp elbow of the arm Sungjong doesn't have curled around his neck. Howon instinctively shifts away, unfortunately jostling Sungjong awake as well. "Howon?" Sungjong mumbles, covering his mouth when he yawns.
"Did I fall asleep here?" Howon asks in confusion, his eyes unused to the general darkness of the room after growing accustomed to the sunshine filtering through the window Myungsoo always opens. "What happened?"
Sungjong shrugs, laughing softly when his shoulder bumps into Howon's jaw lightly. "I guess the others decided not to wake us up when it was time to leave."
The other bed, Sungjong's, has been slept in, the blankets left unmade and pillow still bearing the indent of a person's head. Belatedly, Howon realizes the bed he slept the night in belongs to Dongwoo, the other boy's distinctive scent surrounding him once he pulls away from Sungjong and sits up. A blanket slides off of his body, pooling in his lap, and he pulls at a loose thread in the material thoughtfully, a bit guiltily; Dongwoo must have thrown it over him and Sungjong after they fell asleep.
"Ah, you're awake?" Dongwoo asks, strolling out of the bathroom wearing only boxers and a wifebeater. His hair, usually wild and messy, lies flat against his head, the lingering water darkening it and trailing down the column of his throat.
Howon blinks blearily, trying to focus on Dongwoo's face instead of his broad shoulders or the cut of his collarbone. "Yeah. Sorry for crashing here last night, I guess I was really tired."
"Don't worry about it," Dongwoo says easily, pulling open his closet door and taking out a sweatshirt and jeans. His bad mood seems to have been washed away down the drain along with the dirt and bubbles, because he's back, completely, to the good-natured boy Howon knows, his movements relaxed and easy. Howon barely catches the tune of the song he's humming under his breath as he rummages around for a belt.
"I should be going now," Howon says, apologizing again and trying to scramble up to his feet only to be restrained by Sungjong's hands and pout.
"So soon? You could just shower here and go down to breakfast with us," Sungjong says pleadingly. "It's not have to go back to get your clothes if we're changing for the event anyways. Dongwoo can lend you some things."
Even when Dongwoo turns around, gesturing to the open closet, Howon hesitates. "I--I don't know," Howon says uncomfortably. He limply allows Sungjong to push him into the bathroom, eyeing the condensation still clinging to the shower door from Dongwoo's shower, but obeys in spite of his weak protests.
When Howon finds himself in one of Dongwoo's vividly colored jackets and a pair of sweatpants, having had opted to wear his own undershirt from yesterday underneath, he shifts unconsciously in an attempt to adjust to tighter clothes, the cloth stretched across his chest snugly; the clothes are so different from his modest wardrobe of dark colors and comfortable fabrics, a bit worn. In his reflection, he can see Dongwoo staring at him with an odd look in his eyes, but decides not to ask about the peculiar scrutiny. With Dongwoo back to normal, Howon would hate if something he said sparked bad sentiments again.
They go down to breakfast together, where Sungyeol delightfully makes more than one inappropriate comment at the sight of Howon dressed in Dongwoo's clothes and Howon hides behind Sunggyu to avoid the Level 2's. Thankfully, there is Korean food on the menu for breakfast instead of the foreign kinds Howon's tongue is still trying to get used to, and the familiar tastes of rice, kimchi jjigae, and egg rolls soothe Howon's frayed nerves. When they go down the South Hallway and into the shops again, Howon is able to keep himself together as he gets his hair done and changes into his formal wear. The hairstyle he picks is the same as last month's, but Tablo recommends something more casual this time around and so Howon decides a black dress shirt and slacks, accented with a skinny white tie. The shirt is just as uncomfortable as Dongwoo's, the crisp material freshly ironed, and he has to spend some time to find the shoes he wore last month.
"Are you ready?" Dongwoo asks, leaning against the doorway and peering inside. One look can tell Howon that Dongwoo already is, blond hair combed back against his head and held by slick hair gel, the first few buttons of his white dress shirt left open. A black tie is draped around his neck but not pulled into a formal knot like Howon's.
"Yes, almost," Howon says, fumbling on the laces of his left shoe. He glances up at Dongwoo, checking if he's still waiting for him, and glancing past him to see Sungjong talking to Myungsoo animatedly at the door of another dressing room. A red sweater vest hugs Sungjong's tiny frame, the knitted threads creating a simple but classy checkered pattern, and his hair is tousled and casual. In contrast, Myungsoo is wearing a suit jacket with his dress shirt, silvery lapels smooth against his chest, and his hair has been straightened carefully again only to be pulled back in a way that exposes his forehead.
The laces finally obey his fingers, and Howon pulls the knot tight. He stands without tripping over his own feet and joins Dongwoo in the doorway, shoving his fingers as deeply as he can so they won't give away his panic. Despite the lack of conversation, he can tell Dongwoo is watching him carefully, hoping to prevent another breakdown. Howon gives him a reassuring smile that Dongwoo returns instantly.
When the others are finished getting dressed, Howon can see Dongwoo is dressed the most casually, especially in comparison to Sunggyu's full suit. The collar of Woohyun's shirt dips down revealingly, but he refuses to change out of it. Tablo leads them down the hallway and into the ballroom, just like last time.
The first thing Howon notices is the ceiling again, rising so far above their heads that he feels uneasy, the opposite of claustrophobia. The second thing he notices, which immediately causes the discouraging taste of bile to rise up his throat, is that there are half as manly Alphas as last month. Howon counts five strangers milling around the food, five people for the seven of them, and wonders if this is the first monthly exam he will fail.
It doesn't help they are evidently a tightly knit group of friends, laughing at inside jokes and touching with an ease born of much time together. Woohyun is the only one who easily, almost nonchalantly integrates himself into the group at first; he has managed to pull one of the boys away from the group in the first ten minutes, no doubt his attention caught by the delicate features and a strong jawline, the confidence this boy carries around him like a cloak. When they laugh together at a joke Woohyun cracks, the boy crumples against Woohyun, clinging with slender fingers, his blond hair splayed across Woohyun's shoulder.
Howon eyes the other four uneasily. A kind-looking boy with honey blond streaking through his brown hair is talking quietly to Sunggyu, and Dongwoo has approached the muscular boy with three shades of color tipping his bangs. The other two keep to themselves, a tall and solemn one that contrasts with his skinny, almost pretty companion, black hair to reddish brown, formal wear to something one would wear out on the streets. As if he can sense Howon looking, the last boy glances up into his eyes, guarded and hesitant.
"This is Jonghyun," Dongwoo says when Howon joins them, handing them a glass of fruit punch each from the refreshments table, hoping it is an adequate segway into the conversation.
"It's nice to meet you," Jonghyun says with a grin, shaking Howon's offered hand firmly. "I hear you dance too?"
"A bit," Howon says awkwardly. "I'm not very good."
"That's what they all say," teases Jonghyun. "Kibum and Taemin both like to dance, but they're never modest." He gestures at the blond boy chattering with Woohyun, then the skinny boy who stared back at Howon, as he says their names.
"Who are the other two?" Howon asks, curious.
"Jinki is over there," Jonghyun says, pointing at the boy standing with Sunggyu. "He has a phenomenal voice, and he plays piano on the side. He did his best to teach Taemin but Taemin spends all his time dancing."
"Dancing?" Dongwoo repeats brightly as he tunes back into the conversation again, happy with this subject change. "Hip hop?"
Jonghyun shrugs. "He can dance to anything. That giant over there is Minho. He plays any sport imaginable and creams his opponent every time, so I don't like playing with him! Do you want to talk to them?"
Howon and Dongwoo agree, and Howon watches with a bit of awe as Dongwoo pulls the taciturn Minho away from Taemin and into conversation about their favorite soccer teams. It's not a topic he can contribute to, never had even watched a soccer game broadcasted on television, so he turns to the others instead.
"Taemin, this is Howon," Jonghyun introduces. "And Howon, meet Taemin. He's a brat that terrorizes my life, but he's got everyone wrapped around his pinky finger."
Taemin pouts and punches Jonghyun in the bicep. The sweet smile he turns onto Howon startles him, reminiscent of Hojun and Sungjong but hardly the same innocence. With an ease born of a lively social life, Jonghyun steers conversation to the topic of dance, and Howon nods along to their words, doing his best to find something worth adding.
A look around shows Sungjong has inserted himself next to Kibum, to Woohyun's visible dismay. Judging by the hand movements they're doing, flourishes of the hands and flamboyantly flipping imaginary long hair over their shoulders with no sense of shame, Sungjong has found another fan of girl group dances. Sungyeol has a vague look of pain from where he stands next to Sungjong, blatantly ignoring Woohyun with a rigidity that shakes Howon.
Jonghyun follows his gaze and laughs loudly. "Looks like Kibum got another one--this happened last year with Kevin Woo."
"Ah, I know Kevin," Howon says. "You mean the girl group dancing?"
"Yes," Jonghyun says with a long-suffering sigh, despite the curve of his fond smile. "I thought Taemin and Kevin would be enough." Taemin, Howon notices, has wandered away to join Jinki and Sunggyu. Instead of joining the conversation, he examines the spread of food on the closest table, collecting a handful of each snack and pouring himself a cup of soda. His plate is awfully full for someone so skinny.
"Sungjong has liked those dances since I met him," Howon says. "He's a lost cause."
Jonghyun laughs again, the mirth coming naturally to someone so good-natured.
They discuss dance for a while, and Howon asks after Jonghyun's own hobbies, which turn out to be singing, playing guitar, and working out. "I'll leave the real teaching to Siwon, but I can give you a few tips about it," he offers. Howon scrambles to find paper and a pen only to realize his pockets are empty, not his own.
"Don't worry, I'll email them to you tonight," Jonghyun says. "What's your last name?"
"Lee," Howon tells him with a bit of confusion as he watches Jonghyun pull a ballpoint pen out of his own pocket and scrawl Howon's exact email across his forearm. He recognizes the account Sanghwan gave him, his last and first names making the username easy to predict. It's the same for every student, apparently.
Jonghyun takes him to talk to the others at least once, to Howon's reluctant relief. Kibum is slightly terrifying, his vivid, pink suit and sharp eyes knocking Howon off balance--it's no surprise that Woohyun approves of this boy. Jinki, in contrast, is gentle and calming, offering Howon a friendly smile that he can't help but return. They talk for a bit longer before Taemin whines for Jinki's attention again, and Jonghyun completes the circle to greet Minho briefly, who is still engaged with Dongwoo. They don't seem to have much in common but Minho is still polite and cordial. Howon decides he likes Jonghyun best.
At the end of the party, the two groups, Alpha and Omega, trade thorough goodbyes, Kibum and Woohyun pulling out their cell phones to exchange phone numbers to solidify their promise of future contact. Howon walks back to the tuxedo shop with Dongwoo and Sungjong, the latter especially excited to found another person with the same music taste as him.
Howon happily changes out of the dress shirt and slacks into casual wear, pulling on his comfortingly familiar wifebeater and Dongwoo's sweatpants, deciding against the ill-fitting sweater. Revealing so much of his shoulders and arms outside of his dorm makes Howon feel self-conscious, but Sungjong and Sungyeol give him compliments that Howon tries to relax at. Jonghyun gave him plenty of advice to regain his muscles back with, maybe even enough that he doesn't need Siwon's class and can go back to dance with Hyukjae and Dongwoo.
He returns straight to his dorm room but invites Dongwoo and Sungjong in. They all notice immediately that Myungsoo beat Howon to their room, the other boy curled up under his blankets and face half-buried in the pillow despite his damp hair. Unlike the others, Myungsoo had spent time talking to Woohyun and Key's group, but flitted around to visit the others before settling with Jinki and Sunggyu, putting in a friendly remark here and there but mostly listening. It's a skill obviously cultivated from plenty of time around Alphas, the way he smiles, the expression just almost genuine, and directs all conversation away from himself and to his companion. The social interaction has obviously taken its toll, judging by the way Myungsoo didn't even flinch or stir when Dongwoo accidentally knocked a math textbook off of their bedside table. Sungyeol, on the other hand, had lingered uncertainly beside Sungjong the whole time, doing his best to socialize enough to pass but personally disadvantaged by his chosen company.
Stretching and yawning, Howon contemplates taking a nap before dinner as well, but Dongwoo persuades him outside. They go through the orchard, which is now stripped of leaves, to play a game or two of soccer despite the cold bite in the air. Sungjong declines to join again, huddled in the shade of a tree, and cheers them on equally. Neither of them trip this time, and Dongwoo wins by a single point.
"Good game," Howon gasps, wrapping his arms around his stomach and bending over to catch his breath. The ground is dirty, stirred up by their feet as they played, and soggy from morning frost.
Dongwoo nods in agreement, breathing hard, but he reaches out a warm hand to grasp Howon's. "It was great," he says. "You're a good soccer player."
"Not really," Howon says sheepishly.
Sungjong approaches then, catching onto the tail end of their exchange. "You guys are both good," he says with a sincere smile, clinging onto Howon because he doesn't look as sweaty as Dongwoo does. "Can we go inside now? I'm cold."
They nod, warmed by the physical exercise, and Howon allows Sungjong to drag him back into the school, where they find themselves going down to the South Hallway as is their habit. "Maybe we can dance today, and Kevin is there," Sungjong says eagerly.
The three of them walk all the way to the dance rooms only to find the entire section closed for construction, an extra pathway opened up to make sure the gym and the libraries are still accessible. "I can't believe they have enough money to just insert another room into the building," Howon says softly, staring at the enormous panels of mirror set aside from the room in progress.
"I guess it's nothing out of the ordinary for them, if they did it last year too," Dongwoo says.
Howon can't take his eyes away from the construction site. "It seems like an excessive use of money, that's all." He frowns, imagining all of the families in his village that the money going into this project could have fed.
"Doesn't it?" Sungjong agrees absently, and pulls on the hem of Howon's shirt. "Let's go."
They walk back the way they came, into the main part of the building where the cafeteria is located. Besides the staff milling around the edges of the room, Betas that avert their eyes resolutely when the three of them pass by, the room is completely empty. Howon stares at the long tables in confusion, completely bare of occupants, even in the other levels. "Where is everyone?"
"They must be caught up in their own monthly exams," Dongwoo says, following Howon's gaze. The sight unsettles Howon more than it should, a reminder of how easily things can disappear, how the stability he found in people like Soohyun can leave him. It only takes three exams before an Omega has to pick their bags and return home in shame.
Dinner ends up being a quiet affair because they decide to get sandwiches in the cafe instead. As Dongwoo greets the Beta behind the cashier with a friendly smile, Sungjong claims the table by the window again while the other two can get food. He babbles appreciatively about the view to Dongwoo and Howon, who do more nodding along that doesn't seem to have the same lack of interest it does at the social events.
The rest of the night is spent in their own rooms, finishing the bit of homework they have left and turning in early. As Howon rummages through the closet as quietly as possible in search of an extra blanket, he realizes that he's comfortable here, at Sanghwan, with these boys and these classes and even these parties. For once, he just might have a good winter.