{infinite; ot7} redemption (o4/?)
Title: redemption (4/?)
Fandom: infinite + ukiss, block b, etc.
Pairing: various
Word count: ~4400
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lee Howon has long accepted his life as a Beta, at the bottom of South Korea's social class. However, the government gives him and his family an opportunity to join the Alpha class, through the Omega Plan at Sanghwan Academy, but this chance isn't as wonderful as it seems.
A/N: for some reason this chapter was...slow. and i complained a lot to my tlist and refused to tell anyone what otps i was planning (if you follow me on twitter, this fic is practically the only thing i talk about nowadays between hyperventilating over infinitize and being a loser)...... also, laughs at the speedy quick interaction research i did for the group featuring in this chapter!!
i was planning to wait ONE MORE DAY before posting this chapter, because may 12th will mark the 7 oops, 6 months of effort ive spent on this fic!!! countless sheets of binder paper, several inky pens, and a whole lot of time were harmed in the making of this fic. i am crazy, why did i start this, etc etc :( but i did a bunch of planning today so i decided to be nice! (another thing holding me back from posting this fic was that its sucking up all my time and i want to post other things onto my comm, but i havent had the time to write those because of this fic so we just come back in a full circle.)
the thing about writing fic is its just as fun as reading it.
redemption
Homework with Dongwoo and Sungjong after dinner on weekdays easily integrates itself into Howon's days, as punctual as a schedule but relaxed in a way a time schedule could never be. The couch facing the counter is his now just as Sungjong has claimed the one across from him and Dongwoo the last of the three, and Howon drapes a blanket from their closet over his shoulders as he curls up with his computer, typing slowly and patiently. Both Dongwoo and Sungjong--and probably everyone else, including Sungyeol--type faster than him, and, when he found out, Sungjong immediately directed him to a speed-typing game that Howon plays when he has free time. He was so excited the first time he won a round that they laughed and tackled him with a congratulatory hug, Sungjong's arms curled around his neck and the sound of Dongwoo's mirth filling his ears. When the warmth of their bodies finally withdrew, Howon picked his blanket up off the ground and pulled it tightly around his body, missing the heat of human bodies already.
It's nice to have them. In Alpha Education, Dongwoo shoots him an amused look every time Mithra cracks a joke using English, and Sungjong pouts and yanks on his sleeve surreptitiously during a particularly difficult science lecture. Even Woohyun and Sungyeol fighting at meal times is something Howon has taken as a daily occurence of life. And that's all Howon wants--the stability of these people around him, of his studies, of his new life.
So he can't help but be upset with Tablo and Mithra for breaking it.
"Today is the last Monday of September," Tablo says, crossing his arms and leaning back on the desk, behind which Mithra is sitting. For the first time, both of them are teaching Alpha Education today, and they are unusually solemn. "Which means you seven will be having your first monthly exam this Saturday.
"Saturday?" Sungyeol bursts out as usual. "Not Friday?"
"We'll be prepping you guys all week, and that includes Friday. The social event will be on Saturday from noon to about six in the afternoon, but we'll expect you all here after breakfast so you can get ready," Mithra clarifies.
Sungyeol groans and presses his forehead to his desk, and something curdles in Howon's stomach as if he is going to throw up. Six hours of socializing for someone as shy and awkward around strangers, especially Alphas, sounds worse than any written test or work in the fields. He can see his FAIL mark already.
As if he knows the thoughts going through Howon's mind at the moment, Dongwoo catches his eye and gives him a reassuring smile. It settles Howon a bit, but the anxiety is back and stronger as Tablo beings to outline what exactly will happen--finger foods and snacks instead of a full-course formal meal ("We haven't gotten to Dining Etiquette yet, but expect it!"), casual conversation and getting to know the Alphas. Howon doesn't believe that talking with all 15 of them, or even if it were 30 or 50 or 100, could take so long, but Tablo goes on to promise he and Mithra and the rest of the professors, including Boa and Seunggi, will attend in order to grade them. "And Jihoon and Dongwook," Mithra adds with a smirk, properly predicting the collective shudder that goes through the room at Professor Jihoon's name. The last one must be the Level 2 Alpha Education teacher.
"Oh, Professor Dongwook?" Soohyun repeats when he's asked about him at dinner. "He's very nice, very patient. Even kinder than Professor Seunggi, you'll like him." He gives Howon a comforting pat on the back, seeing the nerves the younger boy is trying so desperately to conceal.
"It's not that bad," Hoon puts in. "I didn't even go to the first few, and those are the easier ones. Even later, the monthly exams were manageable--if you're meant for Alpha, you'll make it."
"You weren't here in the beginning?" asks Sungjong in confusion, cutting off Howon before he can voice his worries.
"Before, in Level 3, we didn't have Jaeseop and Hoon. We started at Sanghwan with two other guys, Alexander Eusebio and Kim Kibum. They're both good, interesting people," Soohyun explains. "Unfortunately, they didn't pass a few of the exams by the end of the first half year, so Sanghwan dropped them and brought in Jaeseop and Hoon. Jaeseop had it easy because he's so smart, but Hoon worked really hard to catch up and learn the material of the first few months. He also dropped a lot of weight as well, so his appearance could reach Alpha standards."
Hoon laughs modestly. "I'm not that amazing. Besides, I just want to make my mother happy." Soohyun rolls his eyes, slinging an arm around his shoulder and pushing him affectionately.
"Wait," Sungyeol says abruptly. Howon glances at him, taken aback at the sudden pale pallor of his face. "How many tests did they fail before they had to leave?"
"Three, I think?" Soohyun says, his voice careful, knowing how important selecting the right words is. "You can ask your professors to check but I'm pretty sure it's three."
Sungyeol nods, and brings his food to his mouth as if he's forcing himself to keep eating and act normal. Strangely, Woohyun is doing the same, contemplating the noodles on his fork before putting it into his mouth. He chews for an impossibly long time, then swallows, sipping delicately at his water. After a few bites like this, he puts his utensils down and stands to clear away his tray, the bowl still more than half filled.
When they show up at Alpha Education on the next morning, Woohyun has dyed his hair red, only a few shades brighter than Sungjong's. It looks vibrant and sophisticated and he looks more handsome than ever, the edges of his face jutting out more sharply than Howon remembers from when they first met.
Tablo raises his eyebrows when he sees. "You do realize, Woohyun, we'll be going to the salon on Saturday morning?"
"I'll get it touched up then," Woohyun replies flippantly, taking his seat.
Today, they go over how to make conversation, basic things that Howon knows already but will definitely forget when he looks into an Alpha's face. If all fails, he decides desperately, he can just talk about the weather. Not for the first time, he wishes he had Dongwoo or Sungjong's conversational skills. They'll pass with flying colors.
☬
Eventually, Saturday morning arrives and they're told not to wear their uniforms when they meet in the largest salon of the South Hallway. True to his word, Woohyun is there before anyone else arrives, leaning back in his seat as a stylist Beta reapplies color to his hair.
The Beta that greets and sits Howon in a salon chair has a soothing voice and a sweet smile, but the active energy of the store is unfamiliar and worsening his sense of dread. Long, thin fingers pull through his hair as she asks, "What color do you want your hair to be, Howon-sshi?"
"I--I don't know," Howon murmurs. Thankfully, Sungjong calls from the other side of the salon, "Howon, do brown! Like chocolate!" And so, at his consent, she slicks something onto his hair and wraps it against his head, and Howon is left to stare at his reflection until it finishes.
Dongwoo appears behind his chair in the mirror, his fading blond hair restored to a healthier yellow and his forehead exposed by the style of his hair, which is spiked up in an elaborate way rather than the disorder running his fingers through his hair creates. "What color?" he asks curiously.
"Sungjong said to go with brown," says Howon uncertainly. "I've never done this before, so I just took his word for it."
"It'll look great," Sungjong himself says confidently, popping up at Dongwoo's side. He has dyed his hair back to a glossy, pitch black, to Howon's surprise, and the color throws his large eyes and pretty lips into sharp relief. As expected, he looks gorgeous. "I heard we're wearing suits for the event."
"Suits?" Howon repeats.
Dongwoo heaves a sigh. "I guess it is a formal event. Maybe they'll let us dress ourselves next time."
"We still have to go shopping for you later, okay?" Sungjong says, clinging to Howon's shoulder. He laughs in defeat and nods.
When the Beta returns after some time, hovering hesitantly behind them, Dongwoo backs away before Sungjong even notices her, and she shoots him a grateful look before removing the foil on Howon's head and taking him to the sinks to rinse out the dye. The result is a lovely brown that, after she's done cutting, falls gently over his forehead and stops short at the nape of his neck. Howon notices her fingers linger over his Omega tattoo and wonders why he feels guilty.
"It's perfect," Sungjong coos. With his input, Howon decides to leave it down, allowing the stylist to spray it and put a few last strands into place before standing to inspect the results. The style fits him, subtle and casual but neat and simple, and he gives himself a tentative smile in the mirror.
He joins Dongwoo and Sungjong in the sitting area to wait for the others to finish up; Woohyun is dictating exactly how he wants his hair to be styled, and Myungsoo patiently looks forward as his stylist takes the liberty to flip his hair into something edgier than what most of the others are going with. Sunggyu flips through a book, waiting for his dye to set in. As for Sungyeol, Sungjong vocally panics and runs across the whole shop to stop whatever the stylist Beta is doing to his hair, which seems to involve a poofy part on top, excessive braiding, and more oddities that offend Sungjong's sense of fashion. When Sungjong salvages him, Sungyeol is black-haired as well, as clean and minimal as Howon is but with a certain boyish charm.
Sungjong and Sungyeol strike up a conversation as Howon sneaks a glance at Dongwoo. Dongwoo looks carefree and relaxed even though it's doubtful he spends that much time in salons, as opposed to Woohyun or Sungjong, and Howon can't help but admire the ease with which he pulls off his haircut. No, it's envy and admiration and affection, all in one confusing mess. Dongwoo is amazing, from his natural people skills to his book smarts. Professor Seunggi's favorite student for Science is clearly this boy from a line of doctors, and Dongwoo thrives off of this field that walks the line between analytical and creative. While Howon is good at memorizing scientific processes, step by step, understanding the innermost workings as well as Dongwoo does is something most people can't do, and that's why Dongwoo is here at Sanghwan. He deserves his place here and in Alpha society, even though that's something Howon can't say for himself.
Dongwoo, as if feeling the eyes on him, looks up at Howon questioningly. Embarrassed to be caught, Howon shakes his head and looks down, grateful for the distraction when Sunggyu sits down beside him, his hair now a honey golden color that Sungjong happily approves of. Woohyun, despite his already dyed hair and earlier arrival, is still in his seat when Myungsoo makes his way over to sit on the other side of Sunggyu, who nods at him in acknowledgement. Myungsoo's hair, though unchanged from its original black color, has been painstakingly straightened and spiked at the top, exposing the smooth curve of his jaw and his piercing eyes. As they wait, a Beta offers them something to drink, which they all decline because there will be refreshments at the event. Howon, however, mostly refuses because he will probably throw everything back up again, the waste of food only appropriate because of how terrified he is.
When Woohyun is finished, his hair looks exactly the same as it did if it started, maybe a bit brighter of a red, but the change is so minimal even Sunggyu remarks on it; Howon is impressed when Sunggyu does not flinch back from the venomous glare Woohyun shoots at him as they leave the salon and head to a tuxedo shop.
They are immediately directed to separate dressing rooms, each the size of their dorm rooms, and Howon sits uneasily on a cream-colored couch, shaking his head at another offer of food, and stares blankly at the assortment of suits brought out for him to pick from. Without Sungjong, he just selects the most conservative-looking one, and mutely allows himself to be dressed in the crisp white shirt, the black jacket and slacks, the bowtie that wraps too tightly around his neck. He does not recognize himself in the enormous mirror spanning one of the walls, and suddenly the tentative hope after his haircut vanishes, replaced by overwhelming panic. He won't be able to do this, to walk out into a crowd of intimidating Alphas and smile easily, make conversation, act charismatic and interesting. He'll fail his very first monthly test and all of the ones after it, and he'll be packing his things and heading home to his disappointed family with three months' debt for his parents to work like slaves to pay. It's over.
A rap on the door jerks him out of his panic attack momentarily. "Howon? Are you done yet?" It's Dongwoo's voice, and that in itself makes Howon just barely capable of taking those few steps to the door and opening it for him. He's not sure what to say, but his throat closes up, sealing away the words he could have said at the sight of his friend. Dongwoo is wearing a similar suit, the lapels cut with a bit more flare than Howon's, but it's black as well rather than Woohyun's eye-catching red and Sungjong's white, and he looks formal and different and none of this is helping Howon's composure.
"Are you okay?" Dongwoo asks, gripping his wrist and taking care not to wrinkle the expensive suit. "Howon?"
"Fine," Howon chokes out. Dongwoo's long fingers are wrapped securely around his wrist, but his grip betrays his concern, pressing down to the bone. When he was thirteen, Howon had broken this wrist in a work accident, and the months he spent recuperating had put his family through such a difficult time that he had sworn to himself to never put them through that kind of stress again. Perhaps Dongwoo can feel how brittle it is, because his eyes search Howon's intensely as if they're the only ones in the room.
"If you want, we could tell Tablo--" Dongwoo starts, but Howon interrupts him.
"No--No, don't. I can do this," Howon says, and thinks, I have to do this. His family is depending on him. It's hard enough as it is, and he's here to make their lives easier.
Sungjong takes his other hand, his familiar smile sweet; both he and Dongwoo can obviously hear the tremor in Howon's voice. "Take deep breaths," he advises. "I--we--know you can."
Howon nods, pulling air into his lungs mechanically and staring back into Dongwoo's face. "It's not as hard as you think it is," Dongwoo tells him softly. "You'll be fine."
Tablo sweeps in, dapper in a pin-striped suit, and raises his eyebrows at the scene before him: Howon, still looking a bit frantic, his hands in Dongwoo's and Sungjong's, and the others staring at them in alarm. "Is there something wrong?"
"No," Dongwoo answers for all of them. "We're just about ready." Over Dongwoo's shoulder, Howon can see Woohyun staring at him, but not in pity or contempt. His eyes, for once, are completely unreadable.
"Come down this way when you are, then," Tablo calls with a shrug, disappearing down the hallway, and Woohyun is the first after him, Myungsoo dragged along with. Sungyeol, however, waits for Sungjong to release Howon's hand, the smaller boy giving Howon's fingers one last, reassuring squeeze, and Sunggyu surprises Howon by placing his hand on Howon's shoulder for a few heartbeats. The touch is warm and heavy, almost familiar despite the fact they haven't touched before. But, by far, it's Dongwoo's smile that gives Howon the courage to follow the others through the hall and into the enormous room and the company of the Alphas.
By now, Howon knows better than to gape, but it's difficult when the ceiling of the room rises so high up, even fancier than what he has seen of the school so far, and long tables of appetizers line the walls, around which people are standing and chatting. Beside the dark Alpha tattoos marking every one of their throats, their appearances are all different styles, marking out the Omegas in their suits even more. They look up at the sound of the doors opening, and Howon can see Woohyun deep in conversation already, his laughter ringing out in harmony with the Alpha he is talking to.
When Howon approaches, eyeing the food without appetite for lack of something better to do, he almost bumps into one of the few Alphas wearing a suit, this one with blond hair and a strong jaw that gives his face a wide and open look, and stutters out an apology at once.
"It's okay," the Alpha says, smiling at him kindly. "I'm Jungsoo, it's nice to meet you."
"I--I'm Howon. Um." After introducing himself, all of Tablo and Mithra's lessons on conversation dissipate from Howon's mind, and his words falter in his throat.
"Howon?" Jungsoo repeats. "Where are you from?"
"Gangjeong," Howon tells him, and somehow, those expectant eyes and that open smile has him talking, unsurely at first but then it's Soohyun all over again, because it feels like Jungsoo actually cares about the afternoons Howon sat at the dinner table to help Hojun with his homework, those summer days when Howon and his father ate lunch hastily in order to leave the fields a bit earlier than usual to see the fireflies pass through their neighborhood in migration.
When Howon pauses to drink some of the contents of the glass Jungsoo handed him a while earlier, a man with his long, red hair pulled back in a tie to reveal his bold tattoo drapes himself over Jungsoo's shoulders. "Teukie," he whines. "Are you going to let this kid monopolize you the whole time? This is a party, after all." He appraises Howon with a swift glance, the look in his eyes so reminiscent of Woohyun that Howon shifts uncomfortably. He is more like Howon's idea of an Alpha than Jungsoo could ever be, big eyes and sharp cheekbones, the red of his lips standing out against his pale skin. The arms he has wrapped around Jungsoo's neck are slender and unblemished.
"Come on, Heechul, it's not your party," says the Alpha who followed Heechul over to Jungsoo and Howon. He is handsome in a more common way than most of the people in the room, dark hair and brown eyes, and something about his features confuses Howon. "Are you Korean?" he blurts, then flushes in shame.
The man looks surprised. "No, I'm Chinese. My name is Han Geng."
Heechul releases Jungsoo in favor of Han Geng, curling a possessive hand around the back of his neck. "You look like a good kid," he announces abruptly, his eyes fixed on Howon. "Lacking in confidence, but you'll do okay." He tugs Han Geng away, and Howon looks to Jungsoo for clarification.
"Heechul is always like that, especially around the Omegas," Jungsoo says apologetically; before he can elaborate, however, a man with a stocky build and short, cropped hair beckons him over vehemently from another table, and Jungsoo sighs before excusing himself, calling, "What is it, Youngwoon?"
Left alone, Howon drifts away to where Dongwoo is talking excitedly to an Alpha dressed in a black dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, brown hair falling over bright eyes. Dongwoo catches Howon's elbow, pulling him into the conversation. "Howon! This is Donghae. He's telling me about the choreography he and Hyukjae are working on."
Donghae grins at him, and his ready friendliness startles Howon even more than Jungsoo's kindness. "That's Hyukjae," he says, pointing to the blond-haired man still talking to Woohyun. "Hey, Hyuk! Come here!"
Hyukjae's head snaps up, looking in the direction of the voice, and he speaks quickly to Woohyun before joining Donghae; to Woohyun's credit, he immediately turns to offer a glass of champagne and speak to an Alpha with black hair and down-turned eyes who was half-listening to Sungjong and an Alpha just as pretty and delicate as he is. "That's Jongwoon and Ryeowook," Donghae says, noticing where Howon is looking at. "Who's the Omega?"
"Sungjong," answers Howon when it's obvious Dongwoo, who greets Hyukjae with a complicated handshake they just made up on the spot, isn't going to.
"I think he's prettier than Ryeowook," Donghae laughs. "And the other one, with Jongwoon?"
"Ah--Woohyun, and Sunggyu." As they watch, Sunggyu, who is walking by with a tall, thin Alpha is distracted by Jongwoon putting a hand on the arm of his companion--"Kyuhyun," Donghae supplies.
"Isn't Sunggyu the pianist? Contemp-classical?" Donghae asks interestedly.
"Yes. I-I've only heard him play a few times. It's Dongwoo who's a big fan of his music," Howon fumbles.
"Are you and Dongwoo close?" Donghae asks. "Hyukjae and I became best friends when we were here at Sanghwan."
While Howon is glad Donghae didn't ask anything like "What music do you listen to instead?" or, even worse, "What did you do to get into this school?", he still doesn't answer this one, avoiding it with one of his own. "You went to this school?"
"For the most part, we all did--with the exception of Jungsoo, who's from a long line of Alphas, and Choi Siwon, him in the black suit with Sungmin, we were all Betas once. That's why they have us attend these events instead of other Alphas of high society: we understand, because we've been through it all," Donghae explains. "Hyukjae and I both got in with dance, for instance. That guy over there," he points at a younger-looking boy that joined Jongwoon and Sunggyu, "is Henry, and he's extremely talented with the violin, piano, guitar... Kyuhyun is great with computers but I swear he just plays Starcraft all day. Zhou Mi, that tall one with Kyuhyun, is designing his own line of clothing now that he's an Alpha. The thirteen of us here were split into two years, so some of us graduated a year earlier than the others."
Howon nods slowly, trying to digest the onslaught of information. "What about, um, Heechul and Han Geng?"
"Han Geng got so well-known in China for his dancing that Sanghwan practically begged him to come--Zhou Mi is from China too, and they got Henry from Canada. And Heechul, well... You've met him. He couldn't be anything but an Alpha, to be honest," says Donghae with a shrug.
Looking across the room to where Heechul is charming, or terrorizing, Sungyeol, Howon can't help but agree, Heechul is in his element. A ways off from the group clustered around the drinks, he notices Myungsoo talking to a man clearly not physically fit or especially good-looking. "Who's that?"
"Donghee?" Donghae peers at them. "With that guy in the black and red suit?" Even from so far, Howon can see the red rimming on Myungsoo's lapels and nods. "Donghee is hilarious," Donghae says cheerfully. "He's excellent with company despite his other shortcomings--when we had these monthly exams, he aced all of them and passed the social final with flying colors. It's Kibum who had a bit of trouble, but he's incredibly smart so his written final made up for everything else." Looking at the man standing just close enough to Donghee and Myungsoo to listen but not enough to engage in conversation, Howon can't help but agree. At least people like Jungsoo and Donghae are keeping him from ending up like that himself.
A question about how life is as an Alpha prods Donghae into talking freely, and Howon is happily to listen, doing his best to ignore it when Tablo or Professor Jihoon or any of the other teachers, including who must be Professor Dongwook, pass by to check on his progress. By the end of the event, Howon finds himself exhausted yet again, wordlessly letting the Betas help him out of his suit and into his regular clothes, then trying not to fall asleep in the shower because Myungsoo is still waiting for his turn. Only after he gets himself dry enough to flop onto his bed does Howon belatedly remember he should have tried out the bath.
Unsurprisingly, he ends up falling asleep, but Dongwoo and Sungjong disturb his nap to drag him along to the Level 2 dance practice room, where Howon goes back to sleep on Soohyun's shoulder listening to the other two recount their stories from the event. Eli and Dongwoo immediately try out some of the moves Hyukjae taught him, and Howon dozes until past midnight. He vaguely remembers Soohyun saying, "You're too big to carry back to bed, Howon, come on," and the huff of Dongwoo's laughter against his ear as they stumble back to the West Hallway, Sungjong asleep on Dongwoo's back, until he reunites with his bed.
Fandom: infinite + ukiss, block b, etc.
Pairing: various
Word count: ~4400
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lee Howon has long accepted his life as a Beta, at the bottom of South Korea's social class. However, the government gives him and his family an opportunity to join the Alpha class, through the Omega Plan at Sanghwan Academy, but this chance isn't as wonderful as it seems.
A/N: for some reason this chapter was...slow. and i complained a lot to my tlist and refused to tell anyone what otps i was planning (if you follow me on twitter, this fic is practically the only thing i talk about nowadays between hyperventilating over infinitize and being a loser)...... also, laughs at the speedy quick interaction research i did for the group featuring in this chapter!!
i was planning to wait ONE MORE DAY before posting this chapter, because may 12th will mark the 7 oops, 6 months of effort ive spent on this fic!!! countless sheets of binder paper, several inky pens, and a whole lot of time were harmed in the making of this fic. i am crazy, why did i start this, etc etc :( but i did a bunch of planning today so i decided to be nice! (another thing holding me back from posting this fic was that its sucking up all my time and i want to post other things onto my comm, but i havent had the time to write those because of this fic so we just come back in a full circle.)
the thing about writing fic is its just as fun as reading it.
redemption
Homework with Dongwoo and Sungjong after dinner on weekdays easily integrates itself into Howon's days, as punctual as a schedule but relaxed in a way a time schedule could never be. The couch facing the counter is his now just as Sungjong has claimed the one across from him and Dongwoo the last of the three, and Howon drapes a blanket from their closet over his shoulders as he curls up with his computer, typing slowly and patiently. Both Dongwoo and Sungjong--and probably everyone else, including Sungyeol--type faster than him, and, when he found out, Sungjong immediately directed him to a speed-typing game that Howon plays when he has free time. He was so excited the first time he won a round that they laughed and tackled him with a congratulatory hug, Sungjong's arms curled around his neck and the sound of Dongwoo's mirth filling his ears. When the warmth of their bodies finally withdrew, Howon picked his blanket up off the ground and pulled it tightly around his body, missing the heat of human bodies already.
It's nice to have them. In Alpha Education, Dongwoo shoots him an amused look every time Mithra cracks a joke using English, and Sungjong pouts and yanks on his sleeve surreptitiously during a particularly difficult science lecture. Even Woohyun and Sungyeol fighting at meal times is something Howon has taken as a daily occurence of life. And that's all Howon wants--the stability of these people around him, of his studies, of his new life.
So he can't help but be upset with Tablo and Mithra for breaking it.
"Today is the last Monday of September," Tablo says, crossing his arms and leaning back on the desk, behind which Mithra is sitting. For the first time, both of them are teaching Alpha Education today, and they are unusually solemn. "Which means you seven will be having your first monthly exam this Saturday.
"Saturday?" Sungyeol bursts out as usual. "Not Friday?"
"We'll be prepping you guys all week, and that includes Friday. The social event will be on Saturday from noon to about six in the afternoon, but we'll expect you all here after breakfast so you can get ready," Mithra clarifies.
Sungyeol groans and presses his forehead to his desk, and something curdles in Howon's stomach as if he is going to throw up. Six hours of socializing for someone as shy and awkward around strangers, especially Alphas, sounds worse than any written test or work in the fields. He can see his FAIL mark already.
As if he knows the thoughts going through Howon's mind at the moment, Dongwoo catches his eye and gives him a reassuring smile. It settles Howon a bit, but the anxiety is back and stronger as Tablo beings to outline what exactly will happen--finger foods and snacks instead of a full-course formal meal ("We haven't gotten to Dining Etiquette yet, but expect it!"), casual conversation and getting to know the Alphas. Howon doesn't believe that talking with all 15 of them, or even if it were 30 or 50 or 100, could take so long, but Tablo goes on to promise he and Mithra and the rest of the professors, including Boa and Seunggi, will attend in order to grade them. "And Jihoon and Dongwook," Mithra adds with a smirk, properly predicting the collective shudder that goes through the room at Professor Jihoon's name. The last one must be the Level 2 Alpha Education teacher.
"Oh, Professor Dongwook?" Soohyun repeats when he's asked about him at dinner. "He's very nice, very patient. Even kinder than Professor Seunggi, you'll like him." He gives Howon a comforting pat on the back, seeing the nerves the younger boy is trying so desperately to conceal.
"It's not that bad," Hoon puts in. "I didn't even go to the first few, and those are the easier ones. Even later, the monthly exams were manageable--if you're meant for Alpha, you'll make it."
"You weren't here in the beginning?" asks Sungjong in confusion, cutting off Howon before he can voice his worries.
"Before, in Level 3, we didn't have Jaeseop and Hoon. We started at Sanghwan with two other guys, Alexander Eusebio and Kim Kibum. They're both good, interesting people," Soohyun explains. "Unfortunately, they didn't pass a few of the exams by the end of the first half year, so Sanghwan dropped them and brought in Jaeseop and Hoon. Jaeseop had it easy because he's so smart, but Hoon worked really hard to catch up and learn the material of the first few months. He also dropped a lot of weight as well, so his appearance could reach Alpha standards."
Hoon laughs modestly. "I'm not that amazing. Besides, I just want to make my mother happy." Soohyun rolls his eyes, slinging an arm around his shoulder and pushing him affectionately.
"Wait," Sungyeol says abruptly. Howon glances at him, taken aback at the sudden pale pallor of his face. "How many tests did they fail before they had to leave?"
"Three, I think?" Soohyun says, his voice careful, knowing how important selecting the right words is. "You can ask your professors to check but I'm pretty sure it's three."
Sungyeol nods, and brings his food to his mouth as if he's forcing himself to keep eating and act normal. Strangely, Woohyun is doing the same, contemplating the noodles on his fork before putting it into his mouth. He chews for an impossibly long time, then swallows, sipping delicately at his water. After a few bites like this, he puts his utensils down and stands to clear away his tray, the bowl still more than half filled.
When they show up at Alpha Education on the next morning, Woohyun has dyed his hair red, only a few shades brighter than Sungjong's. It looks vibrant and sophisticated and he looks more handsome than ever, the edges of his face jutting out more sharply than Howon remembers from when they first met.
Tablo raises his eyebrows when he sees. "You do realize, Woohyun, we'll be going to the salon on Saturday morning?"
"I'll get it touched up then," Woohyun replies flippantly, taking his seat.
Today, they go over how to make conversation, basic things that Howon knows already but will definitely forget when he looks into an Alpha's face. If all fails, he decides desperately, he can just talk about the weather. Not for the first time, he wishes he had Dongwoo or Sungjong's conversational skills. They'll pass with flying colors.
☬
Eventually, Saturday morning arrives and they're told not to wear their uniforms when they meet in the largest salon of the South Hallway. True to his word, Woohyun is there before anyone else arrives, leaning back in his seat as a stylist Beta reapplies color to his hair.
The Beta that greets and sits Howon in a salon chair has a soothing voice and a sweet smile, but the active energy of the store is unfamiliar and worsening his sense of dread. Long, thin fingers pull through his hair as she asks, "What color do you want your hair to be, Howon-sshi?"
"I--I don't know," Howon murmurs. Thankfully, Sungjong calls from the other side of the salon, "Howon, do brown! Like chocolate!" And so, at his consent, she slicks something onto his hair and wraps it against his head, and Howon is left to stare at his reflection until it finishes.
Dongwoo appears behind his chair in the mirror, his fading blond hair restored to a healthier yellow and his forehead exposed by the style of his hair, which is spiked up in an elaborate way rather than the disorder running his fingers through his hair creates. "What color?" he asks curiously.
"Sungjong said to go with brown," says Howon uncertainly. "I've never done this before, so I just took his word for it."
"It'll look great," Sungjong himself says confidently, popping up at Dongwoo's side. He has dyed his hair back to a glossy, pitch black, to Howon's surprise, and the color throws his large eyes and pretty lips into sharp relief. As expected, he looks gorgeous. "I heard we're wearing suits for the event."
"Suits?" Howon repeats.
Dongwoo heaves a sigh. "I guess it is a formal event. Maybe they'll let us dress ourselves next time."
"We still have to go shopping for you later, okay?" Sungjong says, clinging to Howon's shoulder. He laughs in defeat and nods.
When the Beta returns after some time, hovering hesitantly behind them, Dongwoo backs away before Sungjong even notices her, and she shoots him a grateful look before removing the foil on Howon's head and taking him to the sinks to rinse out the dye. The result is a lovely brown that, after she's done cutting, falls gently over his forehead and stops short at the nape of his neck. Howon notices her fingers linger over his Omega tattoo and wonders why he feels guilty.
"It's perfect," Sungjong coos. With his input, Howon decides to leave it down, allowing the stylist to spray it and put a few last strands into place before standing to inspect the results. The style fits him, subtle and casual but neat and simple, and he gives himself a tentative smile in the mirror.
He joins Dongwoo and Sungjong in the sitting area to wait for the others to finish up; Woohyun is dictating exactly how he wants his hair to be styled, and Myungsoo patiently looks forward as his stylist takes the liberty to flip his hair into something edgier than what most of the others are going with. Sunggyu flips through a book, waiting for his dye to set in. As for Sungyeol, Sungjong vocally panics and runs across the whole shop to stop whatever the stylist Beta is doing to his hair, which seems to involve a poofy part on top, excessive braiding, and more oddities that offend Sungjong's sense of fashion. When Sungjong salvages him, Sungyeol is black-haired as well, as clean and minimal as Howon is but with a certain boyish charm.
Sungjong and Sungyeol strike up a conversation as Howon sneaks a glance at Dongwoo. Dongwoo looks carefree and relaxed even though it's doubtful he spends that much time in salons, as opposed to Woohyun or Sungjong, and Howon can't help but admire the ease with which he pulls off his haircut. No, it's envy and admiration and affection, all in one confusing mess. Dongwoo is amazing, from his natural people skills to his book smarts. Professor Seunggi's favorite student for Science is clearly this boy from a line of doctors, and Dongwoo thrives off of this field that walks the line between analytical and creative. While Howon is good at memorizing scientific processes, step by step, understanding the innermost workings as well as Dongwoo does is something most people can't do, and that's why Dongwoo is here at Sanghwan. He deserves his place here and in Alpha society, even though that's something Howon can't say for himself.
Dongwoo, as if feeling the eyes on him, looks up at Howon questioningly. Embarrassed to be caught, Howon shakes his head and looks down, grateful for the distraction when Sunggyu sits down beside him, his hair now a honey golden color that Sungjong happily approves of. Woohyun, despite his already dyed hair and earlier arrival, is still in his seat when Myungsoo makes his way over to sit on the other side of Sunggyu, who nods at him in acknowledgement. Myungsoo's hair, though unchanged from its original black color, has been painstakingly straightened and spiked at the top, exposing the smooth curve of his jaw and his piercing eyes. As they wait, a Beta offers them something to drink, which they all decline because there will be refreshments at the event. Howon, however, mostly refuses because he will probably throw everything back up again, the waste of food only appropriate because of how terrified he is.
When Woohyun is finished, his hair looks exactly the same as it did if it started, maybe a bit brighter of a red, but the change is so minimal even Sunggyu remarks on it; Howon is impressed when Sunggyu does not flinch back from the venomous glare Woohyun shoots at him as they leave the salon and head to a tuxedo shop.
They are immediately directed to separate dressing rooms, each the size of their dorm rooms, and Howon sits uneasily on a cream-colored couch, shaking his head at another offer of food, and stares blankly at the assortment of suits brought out for him to pick from. Without Sungjong, he just selects the most conservative-looking one, and mutely allows himself to be dressed in the crisp white shirt, the black jacket and slacks, the bowtie that wraps too tightly around his neck. He does not recognize himself in the enormous mirror spanning one of the walls, and suddenly the tentative hope after his haircut vanishes, replaced by overwhelming panic. He won't be able to do this, to walk out into a crowd of intimidating Alphas and smile easily, make conversation, act charismatic and interesting. He'll fail his very first monthly test and all of the ones after it, and he'll be packing his things and heading home to his disappointed family with three months' debt for his parents to work like slaves to pay. It's over.
A rap on the door jerks him out of his panic attack momentarily. "Howon? Are you done yet?" It's Dongwoo's voice, and that in itself makes Howon just barely capable of taking those few steps to the door and opening it for him. He's not sure what to say, but his throat closes up, sealing away the words he could have said at the sight of his friend. Dongwoo is wearing a similar suit, the lapels cut with a bit more flare than Howon's, but it's black as well rather than Woohyun's eye-catching red and Sungjong's white, and he looks formal and different and none of this is helping Howon's composure.
"Are you okay?" Dongwoo asks, gripping his wrist and taking care not to wrinkle the expensive suit. "Howon?"
"Fine," Howon chokes out. Dongwoo's long fingers are wrapped securely around his wrist, but his grip betrays his concern, pressing down to the bone. When he was thirteen, Howon had broken this wrist in a work accident, and the months he spent recuperating had put his family through such a difficult time that he had sworn to himself to never put them through that kind of stress again. Perhaps Dongwoo can feel how brittle it is, because his eyes search Howon's intensely as if they're the only ones in the room.
"If you want, we could tell Tablo--" Dongwoo starts, but Howon interrupts him.
"No--No, don't. I can do this," Howon says, and thinks, I have to do this. His family is depending on him. It's hard enough as it is, and he's here to make their lives easier.
Sungjong takes his other hand, his familiar smile sweet; both he and Dongwoo can obviously hear the tremor in Howon's voice. "Take deep breaths," he advises. "I--we--know you can."
Howon nods, pulling air into his lungs mechanically and staring back into Dongwoo's face. "It's not as hard as you think it is," Dongwoo tells him softly. "You'll be fine."
Tablo sweeps in, dapper in a pin-striped suit, and raises his eyebrows at the scene before him: Howon, still looking a bit frantic, his hands in Dongwoo's and Sungjong's, and the others staring at them in alarm. "Is there something wrong?"
"No," Dongwoo answers for all of them. "We're just about ready." Over Dongwoo's shoulder, Howon can see Woohyun staring at him, but not in pity or contempt. His eyes, for once, are completely unreadable.
"Come down this way when you are, then," Tablo calls with a shrug, disappearing down the hallway, and Woohyun is the first after him, Myungsoo dragged along with. Sungyeol, however, waits for Sungjong to release Howon's hand, the smaller boy giving Howon's fingers one last, reassuring squeeze, and Sunggyu surprises Howon by placing his hand on Howon's shoulder for a few heartbeats. The touch is warm and heavy, almost familiar despite the fact they haven't touched before. But, by far, it's Dongwoo's smile that gives Howon the courage to follow the others through the hall and into the enormous room and the company of the Alphas.
By now, Howon knows better than to gape, but it's difficult when the ceiling of the room rises so high up, even fancier than what he has seen of the school so far, and long tables of appetizers line the walls, around which people are standing and chatting. Beside the dark Alpha tattoos marking every one of their throats, their appearances are all different styles, marking out the Omegas in their suits even more. They look up at the sound of the doors opening, and Howon can see Woohyun deep in conversation already, his laughter ringing out in harmony with the Alpha he is talking to.
When Howon approaches, eyeing the food without appetite for lack of something better to do, he almost bumps into one of the few Alphas wearing a suit, this one with blond hair and a strong jaw that gives his face a wide and open look, and stutters out an apology at once.
"It's okay," the Alpha says, smiling at him kindly. "I'm Jungsoo, it's nice to meet you."
"I--I'm Howon. Um." After introducing himself, all of Tablo and Mithra's lessons on conversation dissipate from Howon's mind, and his words falter in his throat.
"Howon?" Jungsoo repeats. "Where are you from?"
"Gangjeong," Howon tells him, and somehow, those expectant eyes and that open smile has him talking, unsurely at first but then it's Soohyun all over again, because it feels like Jungsoo actually cares about the afternoons Howon sat at the dinner table to help Hojun with his homework, those summer days when Howon and his father ate lunch hastily in order to leave the fields a bit earlier than usual to see the fireflies pass through their neighborhood in migration.
When Howon pauses to drink some of the contents of the glass Jungsoo handed him a while earlier, a man with his long, red hair pulled back in a tie to reveal his bold tattoo drapes himself over Jungsoo's shoulders. "Teukie," he whines. "Are you going to let this kid monopolize you the whole time? This is a party, after all." He appraises Howon with a swift glance, the look in his eyes so reminiscent of Woohyun that Howon shifts uncomfortably. He is more like Howon's idea of an Alpha than Jungsoo could ever be, big eyes and sharp cheekbones, the red of his lips standing out against his pale skin. The arms he has wrapped around Jungsoo's neck are slender and unblemished.
"Come on, Heechul, it's not your party," says the Alpha who followed Heechul over to Jungsoo and Howon. He is handsome in a more common way than most of the people in the room, dark hair and brown eyes, and something about his features confuses Howon. "Are you Korean?" he blurts, then flushes in shame.
The man looks surprised. "No, I'm Chinese. My name is Han Geng."
Heechul releases Jungsoo in favor of Han Geng, curling a possessive hand around the back of his neck. "You look like a good kid," he announces abruptly, his eyes fixed on Howon. "Lacking in confidence, but you'll do okay." He tugs Han Geng away, and Howon looks to Jungsoo for clarification.
"Heechul is always like that, especially around the Omegas," Jungsoo says apologetically; before he can elaborate, however, a man with a stocky build and short, cropped hair beckons him over vehemently from another table, and Jungsoo sighs before excusing himself, calling, "What is it, Youngwoon?"
Left alone, Howon drifts away to where Dongwoo is talking excitedly to an Alpha dressed in a black dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, brown hair falling over bright eyes. Dongwoo catches Howon's elbow, pulling him into the conversation. "Howon! This is Donghae. He's telling me about the choreography he and Hyukjae are working on."
Donghae grins at him, and his ready friendliness startles Howon even more than Jungsoo's kindness. "That's Hyukjae," he says, pointing to the blond-haired man still talking to Woohyun. "Hey, Hyuk! Come here!"
Hyukjae's head snaps up, looking in the direction of the voice, and he speaks quickly to Woohyun before joining Donghae; to Woohyun's credit, he immediately turns to offer a glass of champagne and speak to an Alpha with black hair and down-turned eyes who was half-listening to Sungjong and an Alpha just as pretty and delicate as he is. "That's Jongwoon and Ryeowook," Donghae says, noticing where Howon is looking at. "Who's the Omega?"
"Sungjong," answers Howon when it's obvious Dongwoo, who greets Hyukjae with a complicated handshake they just made up on the spot, isn't going to.
"I think he's prettier than Ryeowook," Donghae laughs. "And the other one, with Jongwoon?"
"Ah--Woohyun, and Sunggyu." As they watch, Sunggyu, who is walking by with a tall, thin Alpha is distracted by Jongwoon putting a hand on the arm of his companion--"Kyuhyun," Donghae supplies.
"Isn't Sunggyu the pianist? Contemp-classical?" Donghae asks interestedly.
"Yes. I-I've only heard him play a few times. It's Dongwoo who's a big fan of his music," Howon fumbles.
"Are you and Dongwoo close?" Donghae asks. "Hyukjae and I became best friends when we were here at Sanghwan."
While Howon is glad Donghae didn't ask anything like "What music do you listen to instead?" or, even worse, "What did you do to get into this school?", he still doesn't answer this one, avoiding it with one of his own. "You went to this school?"
"For the most part, we all did--with the exception of Jungsoo, who's from a long line of Alphas, and Choi Siwon, him in the black suit with Sungmin, we were all Betas once. That's why they have us attend these events instead of other Alphas of high society: we understand, because we've been through it all," Donghae explains. "Hyukjae and I both got in with dance, for instance. That guy over there," he points at a younger-looking boy that joined Jongwoon and Sunggyu, "is Henry, and he's extremely talented with the violin, piano, guitar... Kyuhyun is great with computers but I swear he just plays Starcraft all day. Zhou Mi, that tall one with Kyuhyun, is designing his own line of clothing now that he's an Alpha. The thirteen of us here were split into two years, so some of us graduated a year earlier than the others."
Howon nods slowly, trying to digest the onslaught of information. "What about, um, Heechul and Han Geng?"
"Han Geng got so well-known in China for his dancing that Sanghwan practically begged him to come--Zhou Mi is from China too, and they got Henry from Canada. And Heechul, well... You've met him. He couldn't be anything but an Alpha, to be honest," says Donghae with a shrug.
Looking across the room to where Heechul is charming, or terrorizing, Sungyeol, Howon can't help but agree, Heechul is in his element. A ways off from the group clustered around the drinks, he notices Myungsoo talking to a man clearly not physically fit or especially good-looking. "Who's that?"
"Donghee?" Donghae peers at them. "With that guy in the black and red suit?" Even from so far, Howon can see the red rimming on Myungsoo's lapels and nods. "Donghee is hilarious," Donghae says cheerfully. "He's excellent with company despite his other shortcomings--when we had these monthly exams, he aced all of them and passed the social final with flying colors. It's Kibum who had a bit of trouble, but he's incredibly smart so his written final made up for everything else." Looking at the man standing just close enough to Donghee and Myungsoo to listen but not enough to engage in conversation, Howon can't help but agree. At least people like Jungsoo and Donghae are keeping him from ending up like that himself.
A question about how life is as an Alpha prods Donghae into talking freely, and Howon is happily to listen, doing his best to ignore it when Tablo or Professor Jihoon or any of the other teachers, including who must be Professor Dongwook, pass by to check on his progress. By the end of the event, Howon finds himself exhausted yet again, wordlessly letting the Betas help him out of his suit and into his regular clothes, then trying not to fall asleep in the shower because Myungsoo is still waiting for his turn. Only after he gets himself dry enough to flop onto his bed does Howon belatedly remember he should have tried out the bath.
Unsurprisingly, he ends up falling asleep, but Dongwoo and Sungjong disturb his nap to drag him along to the Level 2 dance practice room, where Howon goes back to sleep on Soohyun's shoulder listening to the other two recount their stories from the event. Eli and Dongwoo immediately try out some of the moves Hyukjae taught him, and Howon dozes until past midnight. He vaguely remembers Soohyun saying, "You're too big to carry back to bed, Howon, come on," and the huff of Dongwoo's laughter against his ear as they stumble back to the West Hallway, Sungjong asleep on Dongwoo's back, until he reunites with his bed.