Just when everything starts to get good...
Life screws me over. DAMN IT. So here's the gist of things.
Yesterday I went to the mall. Got clothes, YEAH! I'm happy. But, I went to see Elisa @ Pac Sun, and I got there 2 seconds too late. I almost broke out into tears. #1 because I haven't seen her in so long. #2 because I don't know where her life is headed. and #3 because I'm SO PISSED OFF at her for not caring about ANYTHING including our friendship. What's that guy got anyway? DAMN. He's a huge ass loser who has nothing better to do than screw around with a little 16 year old. Jen's right. I thought about what she said. She's hurting, too. I guess I'm not the only one who's being hurt by this. But at the same time, I just think it's because Elisa doesn't know how to care. Do I blame her? I'm pissed & i'm not @ the same time. How am I supposed to feel? I think she needs to learn to care about something. What is her mind preoccupied with? There's gotta be SOMETHING! *Wonders*.
There's a new guy in the picture. There's a new guy every fucking week. I'm dead serious, and it's sad. I'm just exploring my options I guess. *Yea Mike you ROCK!* Mike set me up w/ this new cat Nick. It's nice, we get along great, he makes me laugh, we joke around and stuff & it's great fun. He's a talker, too. We call each other like 24/7, which is mad cool b/c I'm a phone person. It's nice to just talk and talk and talk about random ass stuff and it's whatever. Ben could never do that. Neither could Ryan. Fuck them. *BLAGH*. So, who knows. Nick might be the next. But he could also turn around and pull an Eric. If he's worth it, he'll stick around. A nice relationship is indeed possible, whether it's on a friendship level or more. *MIKE IS THE SHIT*.
Yeah, so my mom went through my purse while I was in the shower. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? Yeah. SO! She was looking for drugs, and SHE DIDN'T FIND ANY! TOO FUCKING BAD! But, she did find little things here and there that I took from the mall. She wants me to die now. She thinks i'm like... Satan b/c I still shop lift. Which, it's nothing I'm proud of but DAMN i didn't kill anyone. She wants to get me tested for drug usage because "my pupils are always dilated". What the fuck does THAT MEAN? *UGH* Moms are GAY. I really just think she's looking for things to punish me with because she's trying to find ANYTHING to hold against me so that I can't get my liscense.
I feel defeated. I feel trapped. This is a democracy we're living in, DAMMIT! The only thing living under is a fucking dictatorship led by Hitler.
FREEDOM RULES. I know all my fellow teenagers feel me. We should all run away to a far off land...