(no subject)
So, an update.
No job yet; but hopefully an interview with Polk County DFACS as a social worker either this week or the coming one.
CHT is currently devoid of a place to play, since Dean GP has decided to take the rooms away from us. We have a meeting with him this Friday to hopefully rectify that situation.
My birthday went well. I got some cash which will help me along, some beautiful carnelian dice from Ryan, a lovely tea warmer and tea cup from mom, and a set of new speakers in the Mustang from the parents. Those things are incredible; I cried when I listened to them first. It's that whole certain sounds making me weep thing again. Such an ecstatic feeling.
Had a rough day today. Just didn't feel right; the world didn't look too good in my eyes. Emotions were turbulent, far too turbulent. Had a tiff with the boyfriend, wept on the way home. Heard that voice telling me to swerve into oncoming traffic again...felt my sanity unravelling again. Guess that's entitled to happen every now and then; 'tis the great circle.
It's exhausted me, and I feel terrible for being annoyed at Ryan when he was just trying to make me happy. Those four or five hours of our life together are gone forever; I fubared them. I expect this is simply me putting too much emphasis on something small once again. Proportional problems, as usual. Nonetheless, I feel amazingly guilty for it. However I have control over at least a portion of my psyche now, and I will NOT bring blade to skin over this.
It's time to reset the mind and start anew in the morning. This syntax is enigmatic to even me; clearly not my own speech pattern. At least not when dealing in social situations. Sunrise will bring normalcy.
No job yet; but hopefully an interview with Polk County DFACS as a social worker either this week or the coming one.
CHT is currently devoid of a place to play, since Dean GP has decided to take the rooms away from us. We have a meeting with him this Friday to hopefully rectify that situation.
My birthday went well. I got some cash which will help me along, some beautiful carnelian dice from Ryan, a lovely tea warmer and tea cup from mom, and a set of new speakers in the Mustang from the parents. Those things are incredible; I cried when I listened to them first. It's that whole certain sounds making me weep thing again. Such an ecstatic feeling.
Had a rough day today. Just didn't feel right; the world didn't look too good in my eyes. Emotions were turbulent, far too turbulent. Had a tiff with the boyfriend, wept on the way home. Heard that voice telling me to swerve into oncoming traffic again...felt my sanity unravelling again. Guess that's entitled to happen every now and then; 'tis the great circle.
It's exhausted me, and I feel terrible for being annoyed at Ryan when he was just trying to make me happy. Those four or five hours of our life together are gone forever; I fubared them. I expect this is simply me putting too much emphasis on something small once again. Proportional problems, as usual. Nonetheless, I feel amazingly guilty for it. However I have control over at least a portion of my psyche now, and I will NOT bring blade to skin over this.
It's time to reset the mind and start anew in the morning. This syntax is enigmatic to even me; clearly not my own speech pattern. At least not when dealing in social situations. Sunrise will bring normalcy.