I am home
I am home from Michigan now. I had a great time . I did not have to worry about allergies while there. I met a friend who before this I had only talked to . Really cool guy. I went about things a little wrong cause well I thought since we had flirted before meeting that it may develop into a relationship right away. What the reality is yeah we've talked alot but it is not the same if you haven't atleast met. He seems like a great guy and alot in common. compatible - yes. attraction-yes. possibility of relationship down the road - maybe.Who knows . At least we met and know that much.What is hard for me is to realize that yeah I want things to happen instantly and I have a real bad habit of rushing into relationships and then wandering why it turns bad or in some cases abusive or even having to wander in a new relationship-What if he finds out blank about me or blank from my past comes up. Taking this route in the past has really been self sabotage and no wander I get into trouble.Well at least now I am realizing the pattern so I can break it. In the past have thought it all had to be instantaneous-I know for some people sometimes it is but for me I don't even think that is best. Yes I want to one day marry the right guy and even have another child but I don't need to hurry cause any relationship that is going to last and be worth it takes time to build. I don't know this guy well enough to know what will happen but being friends and getting to know each other will be a good first step whether it becomes a lasting friendship or a lasting friendship plus more. It's hard to change bad habits but it is even harder when you don't realize what these habits are!So I have no idea what will happen in this instance , but I do know more how I need to live my life . All we can do is learn from the past.We all screw stuff up it's what we do and learn from are mistakes that helps us through. So all and all a good trip . I've learned alot about myself and maybe that will put me a step closer to being ready for a relationship whenever something does develop into one with whoever it develops into one with. Sure there are possibilities but life has few guarantees.And who wants to focus on death or taxes!