(no subject)
Woke up. Was not, for some reason, in pile of own vomit. I must be doing something wrong.
Any case, there above me was a glowing blonde creature of immense beauty, etc.
Then it kicked me in the head.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"
"by dose!"
I hate being sober. It means I wasn't hallucinating a ghostly Abanacaravia beating the shit out of me. On the brightside, the old standby of laying there whimpering until they get bored worked. I didn't even have to cry, piss my pants, etc.
Where was I.
Then she composed herself and pulled out a script.
"HAML--GALADHON. YOU MUST AVENGE ME! FOR YOUR UNCLE DIDST KILL ME TO MARRY YOUR--"
"I don't have a mother if this is where you're going."
"FINE. MARRY YOU."
"Don't have an uncle either"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
"Right-o"
"NOW. JUST AVENGE MY MURDER"
"..."
"YOU CAN TALK NOW"
"You weren't murdered. You were trying to beat the shit out of me and you set off one of your own guns"
"..."
"You did. May I please get a drink? The blond strumpet gave me a case of tequila in exchange for not selling Celeborn to a child prostitution ring"
"FINE. GODDAMN"
"Life sucks. You want some?"
"GO AWAY"
"This *is* my apartment"
"BAH. WHERE IS MY BODY?"
"Trashcan. I got the clone of Celeborn to drag it out last night before I killed him"
"...WHEN I GET OUT OF MANDOS YOU ARE IN SO MUCH SHIT"
Then she disappeared. Currently words are appearing on the wall in blood and there's an unearthly wailing. It's nice to have something to sing along with.
Any case, there above me was a glowing blonde creature of immense beauty, etc.
Then it kicked me in the head.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"
"by dose!"
I hate being sober. It means I wasn't hallucinating a ghostly Abanacaravia beating the shit out of me. On the brightside, the old standby of laying there whimpering until they get bored worked. I didn't even have to cry, piss my pants, etc.
Where was I.
Then she composed herself and pulled out a script.
"HAML--GALADHON. YOU MUST AVENGE ME! FOR YOUR UNCLE DIDST KILL ME TO MARRY YOUR--"
"I don't have a mother if this is where you're going."
"FINE. MARRY YOU."
"Don't have an uncle either"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
"Right-o"
"NOW. JUST AVENGE MY MURDER"
"..."
"YOU CAN TALK NOW"
"You weren't murdered. You were trying to beat the shit out of me and you set off one of your own guns"
"..."
"You did. May I please get a drink? The blond strumpet gave me a case of tequila in exchange for not selling Celeborn to a child prostitution ring"
"FINE. GODDAMN"
"Life sucks. You want some?"
"GO AWAY"
"This *is* my apartment"
"BAH. WHERE IS MY BODY?"
"Trashcan. I got the clone of Celeborn to drag it out last night before I killed him"
"...WHEN I GET OUT OF MANDOS YOU ARE IN SO MUCH SHIT"
Then she disappeared. Currently words are appearing on the wall in blood and there's an unearthly wailing. It's nice to have something to sing along with.