i'm pretty sure this entry doesn't equal 42
i was having dinner with a friend of mine last night. he's an older dude and very observant. he pointed out that every other week my opinion/decisions/ideas/ect change. at first i wasn't sure how to respond...and then i figured the best way to explain is... i am at a point in my life where i'm still figuring shit out.
i don't like the analogy of playing with the hand you've been delt in life. i was delt a hand. i shuffled it around for a while. now i'm trying to add more cards, and as i do, i shuffle them around too. that is the nutshell. i rock at analogies.
then i thought back to a conversation i had with some old dude the night i ate a wonderworm. i firmly believe that just because you are older than me, does not make you wiser. age doesn't mean you have more life experience. if someone is willing to explore life and learn and absorb everything they can from every experience, then they can be wiser at the age of 20 than a 60 year old who hasn't.
..> ..> it's not our choice to choose our time, but to choose what we do with the time that is given to us. - tolkein
i'm not saying i'm wiser than my elders...only the ones who haven't bothered to really live life and learn from it. the one's who have are totally my heros and i will gladly listen to them talk at great length.
i feel i've managed to formulate some general theories on the nature of a lot of things (love, parenting, drugs, kitties, human interactions, and stuff). i have my own ideas of what some things mean or why certain things are the way they are. a lot of these thoughts are constantly evolving because of the influence of people/environment/experiences, thus my friend's comment.
but now i've just countered myself on one thing i said. i'm not at a point in my life in which i'm all about learning about life...i think that its an ongoing thing and just who i am. granted maybe as life goes on and i learn more i may not constantly be changing my theories on shit, but i'm definatly not promising anything.
oh...my friend also said that there's not really any point for me to do/take things that alter my state of mind, cause i'm off the wall enough already. which is funny, cause another friend said that a few weeks ago...and then i thought even more about it and realized that pretty much my whole life a lot of people have always asked me "what drugs are you on and will you share?" or variations thereof. 99% of the time this question has been asked of me i haven't been in any kind of chemically influenced state.
so i gave my friend an analogy about outerspace. a lot of people take stuff as an escape (maybe to another planet). i'm already "out there" so to speak. i'm an explorer. i don't belong in one place, because i want to learn everything i can about everything. i also don't feel trapped in any way and you can't really escape when there's nothing to escape from. the use of any substance then is pretty much to give me even more uncharted territory to explore. granted i tend to find uncharted territory anyways, but any type of intense experience (not necissarily chemically induced, even...sometimes just crazy situations) gives me huge areas to poke around in...and that makes me happy....
oh, and isn't that was life is all about. i mean, why be here if you're going to be miserable. who knows what happens when you go byebye, so might as well make the most of it while your here. i mean, like, who the fuck truley, without questions, 100% KNOWS why we're here. i sure as fuck don't. i firmly believe that the only thing i know is that i don't know anything, for the simple fact that i question everything so i can never be completely sure whats really true...even post-it notes. anyways...since i have no fucking clue why i'm here, i figured i would at least have an idea of what i'm doing while i'm here.
what i'm doing is making myself happy. contrary to the popular belief of ignorance being bliss, i'm much happier discovering shit about stuff.
the end.
p.s. i want a cookie.
i don't like the analogy of playing with the hand you've been delt in life. i was delt a hand. i shuffled it around for a while. now i'm trying to add more cards, and as i do, i shuffle them around too. that is the nutshell. i rock at analogies.
then i thought back to a conversation i had with some old dude the night i ate a wonderworm. i firmly believe that just because you are older than me, does not make you wiser. age doesn't mean you have more life experience. if someone is willing to explore life and learn and absorb everything they can from every experience, then they can be wiser at the age of 20 than a 60 year old who hasn't.
..> ..> it's not our choice to choose our time, but to choose what we do with the time that is given to us. - tolkein
i'm not saying i'm wiser than my elders...only the ones who haven't bothered to really live life and learn from it. the one's who have are totally my heros and i will gladly listen to them talk at great length.
i feel i've managed to formulate some general theories on the nature of a lot of things (love, parenting, drugs, kitties, human interactions, and stuff). i have my own ideas of what some things mean or why certain things are the way they are. a lot of these thoughts are constantly evolving because of the influence of people/environment/experiences, thus my friend's comment.
but now i've just countered myself on one thing i said. i'm not at a point in my life in which i'm all about learning about life...i think that its an ongoing thing and just who i am. granted maybe as life goes on and i learn more i may not constantly be changing my theories on shit, but i'm definatly not promising anything.
oh...my friend also said that there's not really any point for me to do/take things that alter my state of mind, cause i'm off the wall enough already. which is funny, cause another friend said that a few weeks ago...and then i thought even more about it and realized that pretty much my whole life a lot of people have always asked me "what drugs are you on and will you share?" or variations thereof. 99% of the time this question has been asked of me i haven't been in any kind of chemically influenced state.
so i gave my friend an analogy about outerspace. a lot of people take stuff as an escape (maybe to another planet). i'm already "out there" so to speak. i'm an explorer. i don't belong in one place, because i want to learn everything i can about everything. i also don't feel trapped in any way and you can't really escape when there's nothing to escape from. the use of any substance then is pretty much to give me even more uncharted territory to explore. granted i tend to find uncharted territory anyways, but any type of intense experience (not necissarily chemically induced, even...sometimes just crazy situations) gives me huge areas to poke around in...and that makes me happy....
oh, and isn't that was life is all about. i mean, why be here if you're going to be miserable. who knows what happens when you go byebye, so might as well make the most of it while your here. i mean, like, who the fuck truley, without questions, 100% KNOWS why we're here. i sure as fuck don't. i firmly believe that the only thing i know is that i don't know anything, for the simple fact that i question everything so i can never be completely sure whats really true...even post-it notes. anyways...since i have no fucking clue why i'm here, i figured i would at least have an idea of what i'm doing while i'm here.
what i'm doing is making myself happy. contrary to the popular belief of ignorance being bliss, i'm much happier discovering shit about stuff.
the end.
p.s. i want a cookie.