(no subject)
When the universe was young, there was two forces struggling for control:
God and John Wayne, God still doesnt know what hit him. He is still locked in the basement buried up to his neck in dark matter. Right where The Duke left him.
John Wayne didn't die of cancer, he reached his life crushing palm inside himself and removed the sickness without crying. He then ate it just to prove his immortality to assembled onlookers
John Wayne isn't cryogenically frozen, he is just trying to see how long it will be until the icy depths of interstellar space themselves surrender to his impeccable powers. He will then grow wings, eat three thousand tribal villagers and ascend to bring order to all galaxies.
The Allied forces didnt win the World War Two, John Wayne did. He bombed Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima. John Wayne singlehandely took on the Germans at Stalingrad and sabotaged the Japanese carriers at Midway. He alone destroyed the German Air Force. His capture of Iwo Jima in movies is fictionalized, in reality he vaporized the island and recreated it from the blood of Japanese soldiers. Hitler did not commit suicide, John Wayne shot him. Hitler thought before he died "Finally I love John Wayne"
Eva Braun was killed by John Wayne's mind, she never felt any pain.
John Wayne wanted to choke the life out of every Nazi scumbag. Any stories you hear of their deaths are because John Wayne caught up with them.
John Wayne won the Cold War. He is the only nuclear deterrent needed. He collapsed the Berlin Wall. John Wayne is the one who gave Gorbachev that mark on his head, thats why Gorbachev was peaceful. John Wayne taught him about peace with his awesome fury.
John Wayne has rolled a twelve hit attack, and with his damage modifiers you'll die for real even if your just roleplaying.
John Wayne is how the west was won.
John Wayne knows what you fear, and he is willing to transform into it if you ever fuck with him.
John Wayne is the place where the winds come from.
When Jesus comes again, he will bow at the foot of John Wayne and beg forgiveness for the world's sins. John Wayne will crucify Jesus again, with his mind.
John Wayne knows when your sleeping, John Wayne knows when your awake, and John Wayne will take pictures of you when you shower or masturbate.
John Wayne has broken toilets with the force of his excrement.
At the end of the universe John Wayne will open his mouth and swallow all of creation into his swirling void, his eyes will be the last thing you will ever see.
John Wayne would rather be feared then loved.
John Wayne doesnt ask to make love to you, he just does.
If John Wayne walks into a bar and asks you for your drink, its never been yours, you've been holding it for John Wayne.
John Wayne isnt letting the terrorists win, he's murdering them one by one by suffocating them by stuffing their own genitals down their throats.
John Wayne doesnt need a knife to take them, he uses his mind. No way Duke is touching those filthy perverts wazoohs.
John Wayne likes to see you wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare
John Wayne is nightmares
John Wayne is in the room with you right now, he is watching for you to fuck up, then your fucked.
John Wayne is stern but merciful, the blood on his hands helps his skin and tan.
John Wayne doesnt like your attitude
John Wayne has just told you to dig your own grave
John Wayne says you dont need a shovel, your fingernails will do
John Wayne likes your desperate fear
John Wayne likes the feel of a warm gun
John Wayne says he will always be a part of us
John Wayne sweats oil and pisses whiskey but its not for you
John Wayne could solve all the world's problems, but John Wayne likes to kill too much to do so.
John Wayne bows to no man, all mankind bows to John Wayne
Even the animals and plants know you dont fuck with John Wayne
The rocks are finding out why you dont fuck with John Wayne right now
John Wayne says your next.
God and John Wayne, God still doesnt know what hit him. He is still locked in the basement buried up to his neck in dark matter. Right where The Duke left him.
John Wayne didn't die of cancer, he reached his life crushing palm inside himself and removed the sickness without crying. He then ate it just to prove his immortality to assembled onlookers
John Wayne isn't cryogenically frozen, he is just trying to see how long it will be until the icy depths of interstellar space themselves surrender to his impeccable powers. He will then grow wings, eat three thousand tribal villagers and ascend to bring order to all galaxies.
The Allied forces didnt win the World War Two, John Wayne did. He bombed Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima. John Wayne singlehandely took on the Germans at Stalingrad and sabotaged the Japanese carriers at Midway. He alone destroyed the German Air Force. His capture of Iwo Jima in movies is fictionalized, in reality he vaporized the island and recreated it from the blood of Japanese soldiers. Hitler did not commit suicide, John Wayne shot him. Hitler thought before he died "Finally I love John Wayne"
Eva Braun was killed by John Wayne's mind, she never felt any pain.
John Wayne wanted to choke the life out of every Nazi scumbag. Any stories you hear of their deaths are because John Wayne caught up with them.
John Wayne won the Cold War. He is the only nuclear deterrent needed. He collapsed the Berlin Wall. John Wayne is the one who gave Gorbachev that mark on his head, thats why Gorbachev was peaceful. John Wayne taught him about peace with his awesome fury.
John Wayne has rolled a twelve hit attack, and with his damage modifiers you'll die for real even if your just roleplaying.
John Wayne is how the west was won.
John Wayne knows what you fear, and he is willing to transform into it if you ever fuck with him.
John Wayne is the place where the winds come from.
When Jesus comes again, he will bow at the foot of John Wayne and beg forgiveness for the world's sins. John Wayne will crucify Jesus again, with his mind.
John Wayne knows when your sleeping, John Wayne knows when your awake, and John Wayne will take pictures of you when you shower or masturbate.
John Wayne has broken toilets with the force of his excrement.
At the end of the universe John Wayne will open his mouth and swallow all of creation into his swirling void, his eyes will be the last thing you will ever see.
John Wayne would rather be feared then loved.
John Wayne doesnt ask to make love to you, he just does.
If John Wayne walks into a bar and asks you for your drink, its never been yours, you've been holding it for John Wayne.
John Wayne isnt letting the terrorists win, he's murdering them one by one by suffocating them by stuffing their own genitals down their throats.
John Wayne doesnt need a knife to take them, he uses his mind. No way Duke is touching those filthy perverts wazoohs.
John Wayne likes to see you wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare
John Wayne is nightmares
John Wayne is in the room with you right now, he is watching for you to fuck up, then your fucked.
John Wayne is stern but merciful, the blood on his hands helps his skin and tan.
John Wayne doesnt like your attitude
John Wayne has just told you to dig your own grave
John Wayne says you dont need a shovel, your fingernails will do
John Wayne likes your desperate fear
John Wayne likes the feel of a warm gun
John Wayne says he will always be a part of us
John Wayne sweats oil and pisses whiskey but its not for you
John Wayne could solve all the world's problems, but John Wayne likes to kill too much to do so.
John Wayne bows to no man, all mankind bows to John Wayne
Even the animals and plants know you dont fuck with John Wayne
The rocks are finding out why you dont fuck with John Wayne right now
John Wayne says your next.