Sex and Death
I was just browsing through a discussion on prostitution prompted by our governor's recent indiscretions, and I was amazed at what seemed to be the female consensus on men and sex. What it comes down to essentially is that if a woman wants sex, she can get it, period, and they seem to think that this is true for men also. I am thinking in particular of two posts, the first of which doubted that there were any men so repulsive that they can't find a willing sex partner, and the second of which argued that men only go to prostitutes because they are unwilling to trade emotional intimacy for sex in a regular relationship. As someone who almost certainly has no hope of having sex except through paying for it, this sort of thing drives me crazy. It honestly amazes me that people can be so blind to reality. That some men are too repulsive to find willing partners should admit of no argument; I am living proof of that. As for not being willing suffer emotional intimacy as the price for sex, I would RATHER have emotional intimacy than sex, (though it is close). Gods, I would literally give my left arm for real emotional intimacy with a woman. Clearly, though, if one isn't physically attractive enough, the willingness to embrace intimacy does one no good. Emotional intimacy cannot be bought at any price, but physical intimacy (nearly as good, albeit much briefer) can, and is it fair that I should be denied even that small comfort? These people do not, cannot, understand. They do not understand the despair, day after day, year after year, retiring every night to a cold, empty bed, waking up every morning to face alone whatever the world may throw at you that day, and always, underlying all, darkening every moment, the suspicion, growing slowly but inexorably like a cancer into certainty, the fear that You. Will. Die. Alone.