rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated...
So i haven't posted in a long time. It has been even longer since i have posted anything substantial, so lets go back a little bit ( stand by this one is going to be a doozy of a post)
Dr Peabody, if you please....
Earlier this Year a few friends and i decided to begin carrying our enjoyment of make-up effects to a new level. Since you are reading this you know that i have always enjoyed doing some outrageous costumes for Halloween. this was an decision to not wait for a once a year. After some dabbling and playing around we started getting calls from local independent film makers to help with make-up. We assembled a small group of like minded folks who enjoy this kind of creative outlet. We worked on the make-up for a Calendar shoot that was to be used for financing a movie ( this turns into a rant for a different post) Needless to say this became group took on a life of its own and thus the Shoggoth Assembly was born. Its a cross between a an artistic co-op and a production company. We have since blossomed and expanded to bring in several actor/actresses, artists of varying foci, directors, effects artists etc. This is nice because it give me a creative outlet tht i personally feel i was missing. I don't do theater anymore, i haven't picked up the bass in years now, and I haven't yet found a truly creative outlet in the SCA yet( but i am getting close stay tuned). So yeah.
Towards the end of June i broke my left pinky. normally this wouldn't be too noteworthy except this is the 1st bone that i know i have broken in my 30 years on this planet. another item off the list
July held for me my first GNEW as staff, and what a doozy it was. I worked my ass off as only I can to ensure that everyone else, including other staff members were able to enjoy themselves. from this comes the realization that i need fix some things about myself before i burn myself out. I cannot do everything for everyone every time. i know i can't, so why cant i stop myself from trying? for months before the event i worked like a fiend to organize, contact, liaise, etc to make this event run smoothly. Part of it was that it was my first time and i wanted to show off what kind of work i was capable of, part of was as i mentioned wanting to make sure that everyone else did not melt down. and part of it was not being able to let go of things easily and ending up doing it myself to make sure that it was done to my standards, that way i have no one blame but myself if it doesn't go right. I need to learn to let that go before i ever attempt anything like this again. After all the years of this event and hearing people complain about this aspect of this other one, i made it my personal mission to not only make sure that everything i was supposed to do was done and done well, but also pick up slack every that was loose. It was too much. I did not "enjoy the event. I enjoyed the fact that everyone had a great time. I enjoyed that fact that i have not heard any complaints about how the event went yet. And while a great majority of my joy comes from the joy of others (read my friends) i came to realize that i didn't have a lot of selfish fun. I was too tired, to worn out and too broken to do so. So there is something that needs work in myself.
After that we move on to the next huge event in my life which is Pennsic. This was my 10th year. I think i am getting burnt out. Gone are the days of pennsic being a carefree vacation, now it is an event that takes almost as much time and energy to attend as GNEW is to run. Again i realize that this is totally my own fault, but i am not sure how to go about fixing it. I (read my wonderful wife and I) spent a lot of money on this "vacation". we bought a new trailer, we fixed up the truck to be able to handle the new trailer, we bought some items for the camp to make it a better place for one and all. I planned the meals for the group of 20 people, did the shopping, and most of the cooking. I am not complaining, most everyone in camp chipped in and did their fair share of work to make sure everything that needed doing got done. I am merely stating how much effort i had to put forth vs the rewards of the vacation. I enjoy seeing a lot of people that i would not see otherwise, but as i get older that list gets smaller. people cannot make it, they stop playing, they are no fun anymore whatever the reason. And i dont take the same effort to meet new people i once did. I did try some new things this year. Since i was not allowed to fight due to the a fore mentioned broken pinky i did take a few classes, and hit the thrown weapons range for a while. but even that i realized i was doing not because i had a genuine interest in it, but because it is something our local group is lacking and i want to help make this enjoyment available to others. hmmmmmm In an interesting crossover, i am going to try my hand at doing some metal casting, this nicely ties my Shoggoth Assembly artistic endeavor with the SCA which consumes more of my life every year. So lets see where that takes me.
In the midst of all this I am trying to deal with being promoted to head of product sales in the middle of a recession, and trying to combat that stress which is new and different to me. I am watch friends have relationship issues, and hey, that's life. I get that it will always happen, but it doesn't mean i can just sit idly by and not care about it, think about it, but know that i am really helpless to actually do much about it. Its also hard to enjoy the amazing wonderfulness of my wife. Thats right i am frikken married!!! and i am so ridiculously happily in love its sickening! So much so that i often feel bad about being happy. i have a great wife, a nice house, a good job, a running car, some of the best friends one could ever conceive...LIFE IS GOOD!!! so why do i feel guilty about it?
the more i think and write i see the pattern that causes my issues seems to be making sure other people are happy, and doing things to ensure their happiness often at the expense of my own. Not that people are not appreciative, but still. Maybe i need to take some time and be a little more selfish?
wow this post has taken a real melancholy turn. BLAH ON ME!!!
i guess that means its time to take a break. Work day is done anyway so i should go home.
See you all soon!
Dr Peabody, if you please....
Earlier this Year a few friends and i decided to begin carrying our enjoyment of make-up effects to a new level. Since you are reading this you know that i have always enjoyed doing some outrageous costumes for Halloween. this was an decision to not wait for a once a year. After some dabbling and playing around we started getting calls from local independent film makers to help with make-up. We assembled a small group of like minded folks who enjoy this kind of creative outlet. We worked on the make-up for a Calendar shoot that was to be used for financing a movie ( this turns into a rant for a different post) Needless to say this became group took on a life of its own and thus the Shoggoth Assembly was born. Its a cross between a an artistic co-op and a production company. We have since blossomed and expanded to bring in several actor/actresses, artists of varying foci, directors, effects artists etc. This is nice because it give me a creative outlet tht i personally feel i was missing. I don't do theater anymore, i haven't picked up the bass in years now, and I haven't yet found a truly creative outlet in the SCA yet( but i am getting close stay tuned). So yeah.
Towards the end of June i broke my left pinky. normally this wouldn't be too noteworthy except this is the 1st bone that i know i have broken in my 30 years on this planet. another item off the list
July held for me my first GNEW as staff, and what a doozy it was. I worked my ass off as only I can to ensure that everyone else, including other staff members were able to enjoy themselves. from this comes the realization that i need fix some things about myself before i burn myself out. I cannot do everything for everyone every time. i know i can't, so why cant i stop myself from trying? for months before the event i worked like a fiend to organize, contact, liaise, etc to make this event run smoothly. Part of it was that it was my first time and i wanted to show off what kind of work i was capable of, part of was as i mentioned wanting to make sure that everyone else did not melt down. and part of it was not being able to let go of things easily and ending up doing it myself to make sure that it was done to my standards, that way i have no one blame but myself if it doesn't go right. I need to learn to let that go before i ever attempt anything like this again. After all the years of this event and hearing people complain about this aspect of this other one, i made it my personal mission to not only make sure that everything i was supposed to do was done and done well, but also pick up slack every that was loose. It was too much. I did not "enjoy the event. I enjoyed the fact that everyone had a great time. I enjoyed that fact that i have not heard any complaints about how the event went yet. And while a great majority of my joy comes from the joy of others (read my friends) i came to realize that i didn't have a lot of selfish fun. I was too tired, to worn out and too broken to do so. So there is something that needs work in myself.
After that we move on to the next huge event in my life which is Pennsic. This was my 10th year. I think i am getting burnt out. Gone are the days of pennsic being a carefree vacation, now it is an event that takes almost as much time and energy to attend as GNEW is to run. Again i realize that this is totally my own fault, but i am not sure how to go about fixing it. I (read my wonderful wife and I) spent a lot of money on this "vacation". we bought a new trailer, we fixed up the truck to be able to handle the new trailer, we bought some items for the camp to make it a better place for one and all. I planned the meals for the group of 20 people, did the shopping, and most of the cooking. I am not complaining, most everyone in camp chipped in and did their fair share of work to make sure everything that needed doing got done. I am merely stating how much effort i had to put forth vs the rewards of the vacation. I enjoy seeing a lot of people that i would not see otherwise, but as i get older that list gets smaller. people cannot make it, they stop playing, they are no fun anymore whatever the reason. And i dont take the same effort to meet new people i once did. I did try some new things this year. Since i was not allowed to fight due to the a fore mentioned broken pinky i did take a few classes, and hit the thrown weapons range for a while. but even that i realized i was doing not because i had a genuine interest in it, but because it is something our local group is lacking and i want to help make this enjoyment available to others. hmmmmmm In an interesting crossover, i am going to try my hand at doing some metal casting, this nicely ties my Shoggoth Assembly artistic endeavor with the SCA which consumes more of my life every year. So lets see where that takes me.
In the midst of all this I am trying to deal with being promoted to head of product sales in the middle of a recession, and trying to combat that stress which is new and different to me. I am watch friends have relationship issues, and hey, that's life. I get that it will always happen, but it doesn't mean i can just sit idly by and not care about it, think about it, but know that i am really helpless to actually do much about it. Its also hard to enjoy the amazing wonderfulness of my wife. Thats right i am frikken married!!! and i am so ridiculously happily in love its sickening! So much so that i often feel bad about being happy. i have a great wife, a nice house, a good job, a running car, some of the best friends one could ever conceive...LIFE IS GOOD!!! so why do i feel guilty about it?
the more i think and write i see the pattern that causes my issues seems to be making sure other people are happy, and doing things to ensure their happiness often at the expense of my own. Not that people are not appreciative, but still. Maybe i need to take some time and be a little more selfish?
wow this post has taken a real melancholy turn. BLAH ON ME!!!
i guess that means its time to take a break. Work day is done anyway so i should go home.
See you all soon!