[Big Time Rush] Big Time Award Show

Jun 14, 2010 00:00

Title: Big Time Award Show
Series: Big Time Rush
Spoilers/warnings: Dumbness, lack of continuity, and theoretically written after Big Time Dance
Wordcount: 1,362
Summary: Katie’s commencement ceremony becomes a three ring circus when the boys and Gustavo Roque are forced to tag along.
Author’s note: Congrats peroxidepest17! I'm sorry this is my lame and poor attempt at a "graduation" gift.



“Oh honey, I am so proud of you,” Mrs. Knight enthused for what might have been a world’s record of praise within one hour.

Katie forced her smile to stay in place. “Thanks Mom, but it’s really not a big deal.”

“It is too a big deal! This invitation is for an awards banquet at the Palisade and has been handwritten by someone with very impressive cursive,” she said with a look that meant she was considering framing it. “My baby girl is growing up, winning the most promising entrepreneur of 2010 from her correspondence course.”

“Are you going to start that again?” Katie asked, reaching for a box of tissues to hand to her mother just in case the nostalgia became overwhelming. “I told you. It’s not even a real college course, it’s only CSU transferrable. I just wanted to take it because it would give me free online access to the patent office.”

“What did Katie do?” Kendall asked as he filed in with the rest of his friends. James was busy restyling his hair, but both Logan and Carlos finished jostling each other to pay attention to the news.

“She’s being awarded for excellent achievement in her class at iGraduate With Honors. Isn’t that exciting!”

Kendall shrugged, noticing that Katie was already sick of praise he tried to tone his response down. Which wasn’t hard since he didn’t really know what was going on. “That’s great.”

“Isn’t that the school that gives out bachelor degrees in physical education to stunt animals?” Logan asked.

“And nutritionist degrees. It’s also the place that gave Judge Judy an honorary doctorate in philosophy,” said Katie. “They’re the online school for celebrities with really busy work schedules who want to learn things outside the regular high school curriculum.”

“And Katie here is the top of her class,” Mrs. Knight informed them, bringing her daughter in for yet another hug. “They’re giving her an award at the end of the year party.”

James flipped his hair and gave Katie #34 “charming” smile. “Way to go.”

“And I hope you’ll all be there to applaud her on her special day, which is actually tomorrow night.”

All four members of the group shuffled nervously, not quite sure how to make an excuse about practice or some other commitment, like helping plant the flower bed, in order to escape a tedious awards ceremony that would only be relevant to them in the thirty seconds it took for Katie to pick up her certificate.

“Plus, there’s an all you can eat banquet,” Katie supplied helpfully.

“We are so there!” Carlos said.

“Totally!”

“Oh absolutely.”

“Of course I’d want to be there for my baby sister!”

“Now that that’s settled...”

“Wait,” Kendall said. “I forgot. Gustavo told us we had dance lessons tomorrow night. He wants to see how we can stay in sync when the room is pitch dark except for strobe lights and James’ hairspray application.”

“Starlight Silver,” James pointed at his head. “Works in black light and is waterproof in case you go swimming, which makes it perfect for deep sea diving where there’s no sunlight and all that’s left is those fish with their own lamps in front of their heads.”

“Except it doesn’t work like that! The pressure at that sea level would crush you,” Logan said.

“But not my head because my hairspray is extra resilient!”

Mrs. Knight sighed. “You know what, I’m going to talk to Gustavo Roque and explain the situation. You can do your night synchronization dancing after the ceremony. It’s only two hours, I’m sure he’ll understand once he realizes how important it is to Katie and all of you.”

The other boys looked amongst each other worriedly. Nobody had the heart to tell her that Gustavo was not somebody easily swayed by logic or compassion.

- -

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

“You don’t have to yell-“ Mrs. Knight started.

“I wouldn’t let these dogs go to their own awards show to skip out on practice time. You know why? Because they need to practice so they can one day dream of going to an awards show and spending the entire time not enjoying themselves because they’re too nervous hoping they have an actual shot at winning! I don’t want them to associate those things with positive feelings!”

“They just want to support Kendall’s sister,” Kelly pointed out. “I think it might be nice. And you admitted the set up wouldn’t be finished in time, so giving them two hours off isn’t exactly cutting into your practice time.”

“It would have been on schedule if they didn’t make us install safety rails on those platforMrs. They throw their pop stars out on balance beams with no nets in Korea.”

Mrs. Knight blinked. “Excuse me?”

“All right, you can let the dogs out for tomorrow! But have them back in time for practice before I use the strobe lights as a batsignal. What’s the name of this award ceremony again?”

“iGraduate With Honors MBA program.”

“Oh no,” Kelly moaned.

“What?” Mrs. Knight asked, looking panicked.

“That’s the same program Mr. Griffin takes in his spare time.”

Although Mrs. Knight only heard about the eccentric CEO from second hand accounts, Gustavo’s current fetal position let her catch on that this was potentially a problem.

“What’s wrong with that? Katie assured me it was a legitimate program.”

Gustavo wailed, “That’s just the problem! Legitimate programs mean legitimate award shows and Griffin’s addicted to them! Grammys, Emmys, MTV, CMA, BET, DDR...”

“Isn’t that a video game?”

Kelly nodded. “The head of the company is stationed in Japan. He required training for all music division employees in DDR, and that’s actually what got Griffin started on this award ceremony kick. He couldn’t get enough of the enthusiastic cheers provided by Japanese high school girls.”

“I still don’t see why it’s bad enough to keep the boys from going.”

“If Griffin is going then it’s going to become a zoo. Like a Lady Gaga show but with more explosions and bird nests,” Gustavo groaned.

“But it’s a commencement ceremony, there’s no competition! Everyone’s a winner!”

“It’s not about winning it’s about making an impression. He’s a master of figuring out what sells but as a CEO he hasn’t been as hands on in the performing part of the music industry. Going to award ceremonies and making it all about him is getting his fix in the most socially accepted means in the entertainment industry.”

“If the boys get caught in the crossfire we could have another Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial mishap on our hands,” Kelly said. “Only worse.”

“Especially if Griffin insists on dryer fresh warm pants before he goes on stage.”

Just then Gustavo’s phone rang and the manager suddenly became subdued, greeting the caller demurely and nodding in rapt attention until they apparently hung up.

Gustavo swallowed, as if suddenly confirming all their fears. “That was Griffin. He says he wants us there to support him as he accepts his award for his thesis on retroactive entertainment choices, specifically citing Big Time Rush as the revival of the boy band. And asked me to call a local aquarium that deals in dolphins or porpoises since Sea World is ‘outside talent’ and he wants to keep his entourage local.”

“I’ll get the aspirin,” Kelly said without prompting. Which was good timing since Gustavo’s face was turning three shades darker red.

“Well, since they were already going to go, and they can applaud for Mr. Griffin just as much as Katie.”

“Not if they’re using their hands to hold on while they’re riding the dolphins.”

“What?”

“It’s part of his plan. Big Time Rush and a tribute to the potential remake of Flipper. He’s going to impress the judges and capitalize on the Palisade’s walk in fountain.”

“…I think I’m going to have to call Katie and tell her she doesn’t have to worry about me embarrassing her this time.”

“And call the dogs, tell them to bring their wet suits and make James share that ridiculous hairspray with the rest of them. If Griffin wants a retrofit, he’ll go all the way with 80’s hair included.”

things i am writefully ashamed of

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