the long march...
the days go on. some times are certainly better than others, but the days are blending together into a long trudge through time. the days fall off the calendar and the weeks go by and nothing seems very different. sun comes up, sun goes down, the days pass.
i think there's a process i'm going through wherein i'm discovering that i'm not going to spontaneously die and the world is not coming to an end. i still ache for what i've lost and feel a crushing loneliness, but The End is not nigh.
there's so much wreckage strewn across the map of my life, the way broken and turned to dust. past, present and future all shrouded in mystery and doubt. rubble to dig through, foundations to rebuild, gardens destroyed. but the sun is due to rise on the horizon and shed some light on my surroundings. the night has felt as if it would last forever, but i think i see some hints of orange peeking over the mountains at the edge of my existence. i don't have a clue if the sun will lead me to daylight or burn me where i stand, but it appears it will finally make an appearance. the key will be whether or not i find the motivation to rebuild. if i do, then daylight will light my way, if i do not, then i will burn.
i have to find a new life, a new way. maybe i don't rebuild here. maybe i pack what i have and find a new place, or just travel, drift, keep my roots free. i have no specific plan - same as it ever was, same as it ever was. i just need to keep on.
i think there's a process i'm going through wherein i'm discovering that i'm not going to spontaneously die and the world is not coming to an end. i still ache for what i've lost and feel a crushing loneliness, but The End is not nigh.
there's so much wreckage strewn across the map of my life, the way broken and turned to dust. past, present and future all shrouded in mystery and doubt. rubble to dig through, foundations to rebuild, gardens destroyed. but the sun is due to rise on the horizon and shed some light on my surroundings. the night has felt as if it would last forever, but i think i see some hints of orange peeking over the mountains at the edge of my existence. i don't have a clue if the sun will lead me to daylight or burn me where i stand, but it appears it will finally make an appearance. the key will be whether or not i find the motivation to rebuild. if i do, then daylight will light my way, if i do not, then i will burn.
i have to find a new life, a new way. maybe i don't rebuild here. maybe i pack what i have and find a new place, or just travel, drift, keep my roots free. i have no specific plan - same as it ever was, same as it ever was. i just need to keep on.