a note before bed
well, tomorrow it is. we meet to discuss our final dissolution. (i thought i'd toss in a nice legal word there.)
i hope to sleep tonight, but i'm really anxious about it. there is nothing i'd rather NOT do than see her and talk about the cold hard reality of the final breakup of our marriage. something i thought would last us our entire lives. amazing.
i feel very... not sure of the word here... blank(?) about this? i don't really know what i'm feeling. it's like a dead space right now. there are a lot of thoughts floating around, but they're very ethereal. very difficult to catch, and not heavy. i don't know what that means. is that a good thing?
i'm glad i've had a chance to be on my own for a little bit before this conversation is happening, as it's given me the opportunity to see i can make it on my own. it would have been worse to have the talk about all the dirty specifics before now. though, it might be a crushing blow...
who can say? (this phrase has been an inside joke for her and i for so long and now there's no one left to laugh at it. so sad.)
the air is geting thick again as i think about this. gotta go to bed and try to sleep.
i hope to sleep tonight, but i'm really anxious about it. there is nothing i'd rather NOT do than see her and talk about the cold hard reality of the final breakup of our marriage. something i thought would last us our entire lives. amazing.
i feel very... not sure of the word here... blank(?) about this? i don't really know what i'm feeling. it's like a dead space right now. there are a lot of thoughts floating around, but they're very ethereal. very difficult to catch, and not heavy. i don't know what that means. is that a good thing?
i'm glad i've had a chance to be on my own for a little bit before this conversation is happening, as it's given me the opportunity to see i can make it on my own. it would have been worse to have the talk about all the dirty specifics before now. though, it might be a crushing blow...
who can say? (this phrase has been an inside joke for her and i for so long and now there's no one left to laugh at it. so sad.)
the air is geting thick again as i think about this. gotta go to bed and try to sleep.