Poop
I just finished watching this week's episode of House and of course I recognized myself in the character of this week's patient. In her case, she blogs about her whole life, which is more than I do, but we both leave out "poop." I just figure there are some things that are just too personal to write about.
Actually, avoiding talking about poop (and related subjects) has made it hard to tell complete stories and describe all of my improvements. I'll just give one little example. One of the results of my surgery was that I had diminished sensation from just above my waste, down. I can feel when someone touches me, and where they touch me, but otherwise, it feels like my legs, in particular, are wrapped in several layers of wool and bound with duct tape. The one area where the most feeling has returned has been in my butt and genital area. (I even had trouble typing that. I was looking for a reasonable euphemism but I just felt too silly so I went with the clinical term, even if it does make me blush a little.)
One thing you never see on hospital shows and in movies is that it's that area where you get the most attention when you're paralyzed (and probably even when you're not), because that's the one area they have to clean every day. Often when they clean me, they apologize for using something (spray, wipe, etc.) that's cold. I usually tell them not to worry because I can't feel cold or hot. Recently though, I've started to feel the cold stuff, which is always a little surprising. So there's a sensation improvement, but it's one that's hard to describe without getting more personal than I normally would.
Furthermore, some of the things I'll be working on in OT this month have to do with "toileting" and I just don't want to write about that stuff publicly. This is one of the reasons I haven't posted for a while. But the major reason is money. Or rather, stress about money.
They're now saying that I'll be able to leave around the first week of April. (That is, that's when the OT thinks I'll be able to do transfers independently.) The problem is, I can't go back to my old apartment because it's on the second floor. Tony has been looking for first floor apartments, but being on the first floor isn't enough. They have to be wheelchair-accessible. In addition, we have six cats, so we need a place that not only allows cats, but where we can have several. Finding a place with both of these criteria, plus one with a rent we can afford is practically impossible.
The best place Tony's been able to do is to find a place where they said I can have as many cats as I want as long as I have a letter from my doctor saying that I need them for my therapy. The problem is that it is not currently wheelchair-accessible, but Tony thinks it won't take much to modify it.
I've been talking with a guy named Eric at DHS. From the first time I talked to him, he has told me that DHS can arrange to have modifications made (widening doors, installing ramps, etc.) as long as the owner approves. But since Tony's been actively looking, Eric has told us that DHS won't do modifications to a rental house, and now he says that it will probably take a few months to do because they have to have three contractors look at the place and give estimates. And DHS won't reimburse us if we have the work done ourselves. He said it would be better if we find a place that is ADA-compliant to begin with. The problem is that such places either don't allow pets or the rent is very high (or both). Meanwhile, Eric said he would go by the place Tony found today and check it out to see if it is fixable. He also said there might be some other things he could do, but he had to talk to his supervisors and get back to me.
Meanwhile, I made the mistake of paying PHR in advance for March. My payments here are determined by my monthly SSDI payment minus $30. I don't get my March SSDI payment until the 24th, so I should have waited until then to pay for March. We've already gone through the lump sum they gave me in January. I've already paid March rent and February utilities for the current apartment (where, along with Tony, all of my stuff resides). But there's essentially nothing left, so I don't know how I'm going to pay a deposit on a new place plus moving expenses. (Incidentally, no, Tony doesn't work. There is a long story behind this, but suffice it to say that I need his help right now, so for all intents and purposes he is working for me at the moment.) They won't kick me out of this place, but I can't pay for both PHR and rent on an apartment at the same time.
So, in the last week and a half I have made minor improvements (I can now stand in the standing frame for over 25 minutes and I've been doing sliding board transfers to and from bed instead of using the lift). But my mind has mostly been on either stressing about the housing/financial situation or trying to avoid thinking about it. Hence my failure to post any updates.
Actually, avoiding talking about poop (and related subjects) has made it hard to tell complete stories and describe all of my improvements. I'll just give one little example. One of the results of my surgery was that I had diminished sensation from just above my waste, down. I can feel when someone touches me, and where they touch me, but otherwise, it feels like my legs, in particular, are wrapped in several layers of wool and bound with duct tape. The one area where the most feeling has returned has been in my butt and genital area. (I even had trouble typing that. I was looking for a reasonable euphemism but I just felt too silly so I went with the clinical term, even if it does make me blush a little.)
One thing you never see on hospital shows and in movies is that it's that area where you get the most attention when you're paralyzed (and probably even when you're not), because that's the one area they have to clean every day. Often when they clean me, they apologize for using something (spray, wipe, etc.) that's cold. I usually tell them not to worry because I can't feel cold or hot. Recently though, I've started to feel the cold stuff, which is always a little surprising. So there's a sensation improvement, but it's one that's hard to describe without getting more personal than I normally would.
Furthermore, some of the things I'll be working on in OT this month have to do with "toileting" and I just don't want to write about that stuff publicly. This is one of the reasons I haven't posted for a while. But the major reason is money. Or rather, stress about money.
They're now saying that I'll be able to leave around the first week of April. (That is, that's when the OT thinks I'll be able to do transfers independently.) The problem is, I can't go back to my old apartment because it's on the second floor. Tony has been looking for first floor apartments, but being on the first floor isn't enough. They have to be wheelchair-accessible. In addition, we have six cats, so we need a place that not only allows cats, but where we can have several. Finding a place with both of these criteria, plus one with a rent we can afford is practically impossible.
The best place Tony's been able to do is to find a place where they said I can have as many cats as I want as long as I have a letter from my doctor saying that I need them for my therapy. The problem is that it is not currently wheelchair-accessible, but Tony thinks it won't take much to modify it.
I've been talking with a guy named Eric at DHS. From the first time I talked to him, he has told me that DHS can arrange to have modifications made (widening doors, installing ramps, etc.) as long as the owner approves. But since Tony's been actively looking, Eric has told us that DHS won't do modifications to a rental house, and now he says that it will probably take a few months to do because they have to have three contractors look at the place and give estimates. And DHS won't reimburse us if we have the work done ourselves. He said it would be better if we find a place that is ADA-compliant to begin with. The problem is that such places either don't allow pets or the rent is very high (or both). Meanwhile, Eric said he would go by the place Tony found today and check it out to see if it is fixable. He also said there might be some other things he could do, but he had to talk to his supervisors and get back to me.
Meanwhile, I made the mistake of paying PHR in advance for March. My payments here are determined by my monthly SSDI payment minus $30. I don't get my March SSDI payment until the 24th, so I should have waited until then to pay for March. We've already gone through the lump sum they gave me in January. I've already paid March rent and February utilities for the current apartment (where, along with Tony, all of my stuff resides). But there's essentially nothing left, so I don't know how I'm going to pay a deposit on a new place plus moving expenses. (Incidentally, no, Tony doesn't work. There is a long story behind this, but suffice it to say that I need his help right now, so for all intents and purposes he is working for me at the moment.) They won't kick me out of this place, but I can't pay for both PHR and rent on an apartment at the same time.
So, in the last week and a half I have made minor improvements (I can now stand in the standing frame for over 25 minutes and I've been doing sliding board transfers to and from bed instead of using the lift). But my mind has mostly been on either stressing about the housing/financial situation or trying to avoid thinking about it. Hence my failure to post any updates.