Dear Ben Cross (Letter #4)
Dear Ben,
Greetings :) Hope the day finds you well.
I'm alright. Had a great time last night. I went to a concert by Weird Al Yankovic. I'm thinking that it wouldn't be your thing. But Weird Al is amusing and the concert was fun. Especially when you go with friends. The performance was great and I'm glad that my friend's friend cancelled out and I was able to snag the ticket. Weird Al goes through a lot of costume changes. It was brilliant!
Yes, I'm a geek. Probably said that before.
I went on a blind date today. I had a good time, but I think I was a disappointment to him. Such is life I guess. I'll shake it off and carry on. I don't understand why men don't like me. I'm reasonably good looking, I'm not a stupid person and I think that I'm a good person. Of course being a good person and having a personality seems to be a death knell to having any kind of relationship.
I'm dealing with my weight issue, which realistically, is not catastrophic. I'm not a thin girl by any means. But I'm not 200 lbs either. Sure I could stand to lose some weight. But I'm dealing with that. And that shouldn't even be a thing as most of the women I know are bigger than I am and have husbands or lovers. So I wonder what's wrong with me. It's a vexing problem. And the worst part is that I have no idea how to solve the problem of not having someone as it really all relies on another person.
I know that you would never look at me twice. I'd be out of your mind the moment you looked at me. But even if I was beautiful you would be unattainable, which somehow makes it alright. A person can't fret over something one can never have. You remind me of the God Zeus. Not that you are an all powerful, supernatural being (I could totally see you portraying him though *grin*) but in that you are somewhat my ideal. A successful man, crazily good looking and (it seems from the vast crevasse between you and I) a decent person. And you have a beautiful smile (is beautiful an acceptable adjective for a man?). Decent people are hard to find it seems. And decent men who have life sustainable jobs are even a more rare and wonderous being.
You may think that I am wrong for looking for a successful man. I'm not talking about a man having to be a multi-millionaire movie star. I'm talking about a man with a sustainable wage so that I am not footing all of the responsibility for the household including going to work and then having to deal with the household work as well. I went through 6 years of babysitting an adult male who I almost married. Fortunately I had the sense to realize that he would never get off his butt and work. I want a partner, not an adult toddler. It's this thing I have.
At any rate, though I have joked about it, I am not a gold digger. All I want is for both myself and my future partner to have jobs so that we can have a sustainable future. I don't think that's a bad thing at all.
I've just finished preparing for brunch tomorrow. My friends and I have brunch most Sundays. We used to go out to restaurants but now we cook at our respective homes. I think it's great. It's a time for us to 'bitch' and share news. And it's social. Socialization is good :)
I've cooked the extra lean ground turkey, chopped the chili's and have the garlic butter prepared for the ciabatta garlic toast. I'm going to put everything in the crock pot in the morning at around 6 am and go back to bed until 8. Have to get the laundry done so it will be a busy morning.
I am hoping the crockpot actually works. I accidentally dropped it when I was washing dishes a few weeks ago and am hoping it didn't break. I don't hear anything rattling around. If it doesn't I'll just throw everything in a pot and cook it on the stove. No big deal.
It's late (1 am) and I have to get up in a few hours. Goodnight Ben. I hope you are sleeping well wherever you are.
Gail
Greetings :) Hope the day finds you well.
I'm alright. Had a great time last night. I went to a concert by Weird Al Yankovic. I'm thinking that it wouldn't be your thing. But Weird Al is amusing and the concert was fun. Especially when you go with friends. The performance was great and I'm glad that my friend's friend cancelled out and I was able to snag the ticket. Weird Al goes through a lot of costume changes. It was brilliant!
Yes, I'm a geek. Probably said that before.
I went on a blind date today. I had a good time, but I think I was a disappointment to him. Such is life I guess. I'll shake it off and carry on. I don't understand why men don't like me. I'm reasonably good looking, I'm not a stupid person and I think that I'm a good person. Of course being a good person and having a personality seems to be a death knell to having any kind of relationship.
I'm dealing with my weight issue, which realistically, is not catastrophic. I'm not a thin girl by any means. But I'm not 200 lbs either. Sure I could stand to lose some weight. But I'm dealing with that. And that shouldn't even be a thing as most of the women I know are bigger than I am and have husbands or lovers. So I wonder what's wrong with me. It's a vexing problem. And the worst part is that I have no idea how to solve the problem of not having someone as it really all relies on another person.
I know that you would never look at me twice. I'd be out of your mind the moment you looked at me. But even if I was beautiful you would be unattainable, which somehow makes it alright. A person can't fret over something one can never have. You remind me of the God Zeus. Not that you are an all powerful, supernatural being (I could totally see you portraying him though *grin*) but in that you are somewhat my ideal. A successful man, crazily good looking and (it seems from the vast crevasse between you and I) a decent person. And you have a beautiful smile (is beautiful an acceptable adjective for a man?). Decent people are hard to find it seems. And decent men who have life sustainable jobs are even a more rare and wonderous being.
You may think that I am wrong for looking for a successful man. I'm not talking about a man having to be a multi-millionaire movie star. I'm talking about a man with a sustainable wage so that I am not footing all of the responsibility for the household including going to work and then having to deal with the household work as well. I went through 6 years of babysitting an adult male who I almost married. Fortunately I had the sense to realize that he would never get off his butt and work. I want a partner, not an adult toddler. It's this thing I have.
At any rate, though I have joked about it, I am not a gold digger. All I want is for both myself and my future partner to have jobs so that we can have a sustainable future. I don't think that's a bad thing at all.
I've just finished preparing for brunch tomorrow. My friends and I have brunch most Sundays. We used to go out to restaurants but now we cook at our respective homes. I think it's great. It's a time for us to 'bitch' and share news. And it's social. Socialization is good :)
I've cooked the extra lean ground turkey, chopped the chili's and have the garlic butter prepared for the ciabatta garlic toast. I'm going to put everything in the crock pot in the morning at around 6 am and go back to bed until 8. Have to get the laundry done so it will be a busy morning.
I am hoping the crockpot actually works. I accidentally dropped it when I was washing dishes a few weeks ago and am hoping it didn't break. I don't hear anything rattling around. If it doesn't I'll just throw everything in a pot and cook it on the stove. No big deal.
It's late (1 am) and I have to get up in a few hours. Goodnight Ben. I hope you are sleeping well wherever you are.
Gail