This is an issue that has come up several times here, and the reaction from most of the other Americans is usually "hitting a child for any reason every means you should be hauled away and never get to see your kids again
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I think you're right. It's all in *how* you use what you have in your discipline arsenal- and really, it's in using it to get them to see the consequences of their actions. A personal observation is 100 times more powerful than your parents telling you something over and over. If you're consistent in giving them consequences they learn a lot quicker. If you tell them they're getting a time out, you'd better follow through, and not just give up because it's taking too long for them get it through their head that they have to stay put. If you tell your kid they'll get a spank or grounded or extra chores or whatever, you'd better follow through. Not following through will come and bite you in the butt every time. You don't have to be angry about it, just firm and matter of fact. I think that's where it's easy to cross the line with spanking though. It's very easy to spank because we're angry, not because we value discipline. It's easier to do in that it's quick, but just swatting them on the butt isn't always going to cut it. You have to talk to them too. I'll stop rambling too now. hehehe.
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