I`m a fake I`m a fake I`m a fake
I don`t want your fucking pity
I can take care of myself thank you
I realize my entries may sound 'depressish' and may 'get old' but you know, its my fucking journal. I leave it public because I`m not afraid to hide my thoughts.
No one holds a gun to your head and makes you read it.
If I were always happy, it would be boring to read.
People love misery.
I seem to fucking do.
I`m so.. I`m really bitchy. I need to let out and explode but it`s not going to happen. I`m tired of talking to a fucking computer screen, or into a phone. I need a face, a person that won`t sit there and judge me.
I`ve decided a few things today.
I`ve decided I don`t give a flying fuck anymore how people will look down on me because of my decisions, because of things I`ve done wrong. Well guess what? I`m human. It happens. Don`t like it? don`t fucking deal with it.
If you don`t want to be my friend, then don`t. Just fucking tell me.
I`m tired of feeling paranoid around people. I`m tired of pretending it`s all okay and saying it is when it`s not. I`m not fucking right in the head, and it`s no one`s fault but my own. Guess what, It`s something I have to work on, and I`m fucking trying. Doesn`t mean I`m not going to fuck up a lot along the way.
I`m fucking tired of being alone, of taking two steps forward, eight steps back. I`m tired of being stuck in this house because it`s too cold to go outside. of having to ask people for shit, of always getting it coming back and biting me on the ass.
I`m tired of people`s fucking pity.
I don`t want your pity.
I want flowers sent to me someday when I`m at work. I wan`t to get married someday, have a house, a few more kids, a couple of dogs and a cat and be happy. I want a car, and I`m going to be happy in my life no matter how fucking dull it seems to anyone else.
Love is not like anything
Ecpecially a fucking knife
I have no need to lie, if your my friend I`ll love you until the end.
I`d hand you my head if it would make you smile.
I`m very angst-y tonight.
I`m looking at bloody knuckles wondering where it went wrong. But I look at someone I know, I see how successful her life is and I realize that I will be there someday if I have to fight. I want money to be like tissue paper, its just everywhere.
I`m going to be happy, and start living for myself as of today.
call it selfish.
fuck you if you do
and yes, I posted this on both journals.
so fucking sue me
I can take care of myself thank you
I realize my entries may sound 'depressish' and may 'get old' but you know, its my fucking journal. I leave it public because I`m not afraid to hide my thoughts.
No one holds a gun to your head and makes you read it.
If I were always happy, it would be boring to read.
People love misery.
I seem to fucking do.
I`m so.. I`m really bitchy. I need to let out and explode but it`s not going to happen. I`m tired of talking to a fucking computer screen, or into a phone. I need a face, a person that won`t sit there and judge me.
I`ve decided a few things today.
I`ve decided I don`t give a flying fuck anymore how people will look down on me because of my decisions, because of things I`ve done wrong. Well guess what? I`m human. It happens. Don`t like it? don`t fucking deal with it.
If you don`t want to be my friend, then don`t. Just fucking tell me.
I`m tired of feeling paranoid around people. I`m tired of pretending it`s all okay and saying it is when it`s not. I`m not fucking right in the head, and it`s no one`s fault but my own. Guess what, It`s something I have to work on, and I`m fucking trying. Doesn`t mean I`m not going to fuck up a lot along the way.
I`m fucking tired of being alone, of taking two steps forward, eight steps back. I`m tired of being stuck in this house because it`s too cold to go outside. of having to ask people for shit, of always getting it coming back and biting me on the ass.
I`m tired of people`s fucking pity.
I don`t want your pity.
I want flowers sent to me someday when I`m at work. I wan`t to get married someday, have a house, a few more kids, a couple of dogs and a cat and be happy. I want a car, and I`m going to be happy in my life no matter how fucking dull it seems to anyone else.
Love is not like anything
Ecpecially a fucking knife
I have no need to lie, if your my friend I`ll love you until the end.
I`d hand you my head if it would make you smile.
I`m very angst-y tonight.
I`m looking at bloody knuckles wondering where it went wrong. But I look at someone I know, I see how successful her life is and I realize that I will be there someday if I have to fight. I want money to be like tissue paper, its just everywhere.
I`m going to be happy, and start living for myself as of today.
call it selfish.
fuck you if you do
and yes, I posted this on both journals.
so fucking sue me