Clarity
Transformation is an amazing process. I mean, I was positively unaware that I was transforming, and yet it was happening anyway.
I have been so dark lately. I mean, really dark. Depressed, unfocused, less than productive, rebellious like a teenager. Not my best self. The recent shock that I experienced from the rejection by my father seems to have kick started something good. It's shamanic in a way. I felt as though the Gods stuck a hand into my gut and pulled out my inner, scared little kid, holding her up to my adult self. Then, they looked me squarely in the eye and said, "Do something with this, already."
I seem to have been able to do just that...and I'm feeling strangely whole now. Like I can't be hurt in that way any more. Serene, grown up, secure. Absolutely fascinating how a sucker punch to the stomach can be so helpful...