Twilight-- Chapters 1 and 2
So I'm trying to read Twilight. And, you know, I'm all for self-indulgence, but so far this just isn't my type of self-indulgence. Plus I've realized recently that I really only have a low-to-moderate interest in vampires. (But zombies? HIGH INTEREST.)
Anyway, the first two chapters were rough to get through. It's been said before, but I'll say it again: Bella is so fucking boring. Some wtf moments in the writing of Stephenie Meyer helped pull me along, though. For instance, Bella is upset that the gray atmosphere of Forks does nothing for her complexion:
Maybe it was the light, but already I looked sallower, unhealthy. My skin could be pretty - it was very clear, almost translucent-looking - but it all depended
on color.
You skin is almost translucent?? So we can almost see your organs?? Bella, you have bigger problems than the perpetual wet greenery of Forks.
And then there was this:
I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.
This just made me laugh. Yes, you are a special snowflake, and every teenage girl who read this book thanks you for affirming their feeling that they are just the same way. I remember those days. Okay, now and then todays are those days.
Bella does a lot of complaining, which I get because she didn't come to Forks for her own benefit, but it really does get ridiculous.
I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door.
Inside, it was brightly lit, and warmer than I'd hoped.
OH MY GOD. "It's too cold! Now it's too hot." jfc, girl. Maybe with just a teeny bit of positivity you could have a marginally good day.
I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
Har, I get it. :9
So Bella starts her day, paranoid that everyone is staring and talking about her, and begins to make some "friends" (each of whom so far she seems to regard with some level of distaste).
When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.
[....]
He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type.
[....]
"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way…" Definitely over-helpful.
Yeah, look at this dick kid trying to help you on your first day. What a jerk, amirite? And he's not even pretty! I MEAN, A TEENAGE BOY WITH SKIN PROBLEMS? SHOCKER.
More people-meeting at lunch!
We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, who she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. They seemed impressed by her bravery in speaking to me.
Har, these kids, they're all isolated backwoods rubberneckers who just cannot deal with new specimens of humanity. Seriously, though, maybe they really are surprised their friend managed to converse with someone who's obviously looked fucking miserable all day.
But then she sees... THE CULLENS.
They didn't look anything alike.
[.. blah blah descriptions of beauty blah blah..]
And yet, they were all exactly alike. [.. blah blah pale skin, etc. blah blah]
lol What?? Okay, I see what you were trying to say Ms. Meyer, but the way you put it makes no sense.
"They're all together though - Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town, I thought critically. But, if I was being honest, I had to admit that even in Phoenix, it would cause gossip.
Holy shit, Bella almost realized she too can be a judgmental asshat.
Then she meets Mike.
We walked to class together; he was a chatterer - he supplied most of the conversation, which made it easy for me. He'd lived in California till he was ten, so he knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out he was in my English class also. He was the nicest person I'd met today.
Because everyone else has been so mean to you?? Also this doesn't even matter because Bella's sour outlook is justified when Mike starts following her around like a dog.
Anyway, they get to biology, and there's only one empty seat at the tables. I'm sure you can guess who her tablemate is. But alas, Edward is surprisingly hostile toward her, leaning away and clenching his fists and, in Bella's POV, acting like he's smelled something awful. Later one she finds him in the school office trying to switch out of the class. lol Poor Bella.
It was impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike to me.
Hahahaha. I know I've been in her head for a while, but I dunno about that.
So Edward doesn't come to school for a while, and Bella is all hung up over it even though as far as she knows he's just this handsome guy who was a dick to her for no reason. But then he returns! And they speak to each other! He gets her to tell him about why she came to Forks (she's living with her father so her mother can travel with her new husband), and observes that she's unhappy.
His gaze became appraising. "You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."
HAHAHAHA Puts on a good show? This is after Belle affirms she's unhappy. And, oh, yes, acknowledge her deep, deep suffering. Edward understands her already!
Then when she leaves school she almost hits a car with her truck and he laughs and I like him.
So that was the first two chapters. I'm not sure when I'll push through more. Maybe it'll get interesting as it goes along. And I'm not pretending I don't have a bias given all the crap people talk about this book, but a few of my friends like it and I am compelled to try to understand why.
In the meantime, True Blood's on in less than an hour!
Anyway, the first two chapters were rough to get through. It's been said before, but I'll say it again: Bella is so fucking boring. Some wtf moments in the writing of Stephenie Meyer helped pull me along, though. For instance, Bella is upset that the gray atmosphere of Forks does nothing for her complexion:
Maybe it was the light, but already I looked sallower, unhealthy. My skin could be pretty - it was very clear, almost translucent-looking - but it all depended
on color.
You skin is almost translucent?? So we can almost see your organs?? Bella, you have bigger problems than the perpetual wet greenery of Forks.
And then there was this:
I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.
This just made me laugh. Yes, you are a special snowflake, and every teenage girl who read this book thanks you for affirming their feeling that they are just the same way. I remember those days. Okay, now and then todays are those days.
Bella does a lot of complaining, which I get because she didn't come to Forks for her own benefit, but it really does get ridiculous.
I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door.
Inside, it was brightly lit, and warmer than I'd hoped.
OH MY GOD. "It's too cold! Now it's too hot." jfc, girl. Maybe with just a teeny bit of positivity you could have a marginally good day.
I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
Har, I get it. :9
So Bella starts her day, paranoid that everyone is staring and talking about her, and begins to make some "friends" (each of whom so far she seems to regard with some level of distaste).
When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.
[....]
He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type.
[....]
"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way…" Definitely over-helpful.
Yeah, look at this dick kid trying to help you on your first day. What a jerk, amirite? And he's not even pretty! I MEAN, A TEENAGE BOY WITH SKIN PROBLEMS? SHOCKER.
More people-meeting at lunch!
We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, who she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. They seemed impressed by her bravery in speaking to me.
Har, these kids, they're all isolated backwoods rubberneckers who just cannot deal with new specimens of humanity. Seriously, though, maybe they really are surprised their friend managed to converse with someone who's obviously looked fucking miserable all day.
But then she sees... THE CULLENS.
They didn't look anything alike.
[.. blah blah descriptions of beauty blah blah..]
And yet, they were all exactly alike. [.. blah blah pale skin, etc. blah blah]
lol What?? Okay, I see what you were trying to say Ms. Meyer, but the way you put it makes no sense.
"They're all together though - Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town, I thought critically. But, if I was being honest, I had to admit that even in Phoenix, it would cause gossip.
Holy shit, Bella almost realized she too can be a judgmental asshat.
Then she meets Mike.
We walked to class together; he was a chatterer - he supplied most of the conversation, which made it easy for me. He'd lived in California till he was ten, so he knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out he was in my English class also. He was the nicest person I'd met today.
Because everyone else has been so mean to you?? Also this doesn't even matter because Bella's sour outlook is justified when Mike starts following her around like a dog.
Anyway, they get to biology, and there's only one empty seat at the tables. I'm sure you can guess who her tablemate is. But alas, Edward is surprisingly hostile toward her, leaning away and clenching his fists and, in Bella's POV, acting like he's smelled something awful. Later one she finds him in the school office trying to switch out of the class. lol Poor Bella.
It was impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike to me.
Hahahaha. I know I've been in her head for a while, but I dunno about that.
So Edward doesn't come to school for a while, and Bella is all hung up over it even though as far as she knows he's just this handsome guy who was a dick to her for no reason. But then he returns! And they speak to each other! He gets her to tell him about why she came to Forks (she's living with her father so her mother can travel with her new husband), and observes that she's unhappy.
His gaze became appraising. "You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."
HAHAHAHA Puts on a good show? This is after Belle affirms she's unhappy. And, oh, yes, acknowledge her deep, deep suffering. Edward understands her already!
Then when she leaves school she almost hits a car with her truck and he laughs and I like him.
So that was the first two chapters. I'm not sure when I'll push through more. Maybe it'll get interesting as it goes along. And I'm not pretending I don't have a bias given all the crap people talk about this book, but a few of my friends like it and I am compelled to try to understand why.
In the meantime, True Blood's on in less than an hour!