Second thoughts
I've started to get that really claustrophobic feeling with fandom recently. I like writing fic. But I like writing in general. I've always seen writing fic as training wheels for original fic, and I know that it has improved my writing considerably, but I think it may be time to let the training wheels go.
Is it just me or is SGA really incestuous between production and fandom? This whole thing with the producers and their blogs, the huge spoiler leakage, the Beckett rescue thing, the penguins, the sending of postcards, fans writing to the Hewletts. Perhaps I'm just fucked up, but I think it's kinda creepy.
And then I start thinking about fic. And am I actually writing porn about physical people who exist and aren't gay and would never sanction it and . . . its really pretty perverse.
Also, the only thing I've been more addicted to is chocolate, and that's also pretty fucked up.
And now I was reading something about David Hewlitt doing a show about making a scifi show and then there was some commercial on adultswim with geeky guys and a gocart dressed up in Atlantis uniforms and its like Star Trek all over again.
Is it wrong to think that this is my own private obsession and I don't want to be judged for it? Especially by the people making the show? And that the people who make the show should be doing their art, without a direct link to the collective consciousness that is fandom?
I um . . . I have a lot of stories and ideas stalled in the process right now, because I can't shake this feeling of claustrophobia.
I don't want to disrespect all of the people out there who watch the show and get really involved and through that involvement keep it on. And I think of all the things to unite over, a scifi show that makes us stretch our imagininations and consider truly new and original concepts, is a wonderful choice. I've loved intereacting with 95% of all people in the fandom and have grown from the experience, and I think you are all stellar people.
But the aspect of fandom that I don't connect with is the one that interacts with/follows actors and producers, and it seems to be becoming an increasingly important part of SGA. So, there is a distinct possibility that this is the end of the line for me. Not my last post, as I have a bazillion loose ends and loose fics that I would feel guilty not tying up, but . . . I think this is the beginning of the end.
Is it just me or is SGA really incestuous between production and fandom? This whole thing with the producers and their blogs, the huge spoiler leakage, the Beckett rescue thing, the penguins, the sending of postcards, fans writing to the Hewletts. Perhaps I'm just fucked up, but I think it's kinda creepy.
And then I start thinking about fic. And am I actually writing porn about physical people who exist and aren't gay and would never sanction it and . . . its really pretty perverse.
Also, the only thing I've been more addicted to is chocolate, and that's also pretty fucked up.
And now I was reading something about David Hewlitt doing a show about making a scifi show and then there was some commercial on adultswim with geeky guys and a gocart dressed up in Atlantis uniforms and its like Star Trek all over again.
Is it wrong to think that this is my own private obsession and I don't want to be judged for it? Especially by the people making the show? And that the people who make the show should be doing their art, without a direct link to the collective consciousness that is fandom?
I um . . . I have a lot of stories and ideas stalled in the process right now, because I can't shake this feeling of claustrophobia.
I don't want to disrespect all of the people out there who watch the show and get really involved and through that involvement keep it on. And I think of all the things to unite over, a scifi show that makes us stretch our imagininations and consider truly new and original concepts, is a wonderful choice. I've loved intereacting with 95% of all people in the fandom and have grown from the experience, and I think you are all stellar people.
But the aspect of fandom that I don't connect with is the one that interacts with/follows actors and producers, and it seems to be becoming an increasingly important part of SGA. So, there is a distinct possibility that this is the end of the line for me. Not my last post, as I have a bazillion loose ends and loose fics that I would feel guilty not tying up, but . . . I think this is the beginning of the end.