Hello depressed...it's been a long time.
I think this journal has always been my feeling journal. Usually when I'm depressed or overly happy...or angry. A strong feeling meant writing here.
Well...it's been awhile. Once I was pregnant, life was just good and happy all the time. I saw every optimistic speckle and enlarged it, in every situation. It was actually pretty marvelous. Thank you awesome pregnancy hormones (I got the better end of things). Postpartum provided pretty much the same thing.
It's been 7.5 months. I now have a beautiful and happy little 7.5 month old daughter. But today, I lost it. And my best friend has moved to Toronto, so I have no one to call late night to cry to...
I love my daughter...but I'm also a big pushover when it comes to my husband. If he is flustered by our life as parents, I am the one to whisk her away so that he can have his own quiet time at home watching his fav shows and sports. He always thinks I should have alone time...but he rarely does anything to instill the comfort in me to leave our daughter with him.
Finances, our relationship, and just the loss of the freedom to do things on a whim and to whatever works for me...they bog me down. And sometimes I feel like if I could just have the freedom to work at whatever I need to, our finances would be better. I hate that JRai doesn't take responsibility and provide financially for our family. Instead he will lay the burden on me telling me I need to work to support our lifestyle.
Well...it's been awhile. Once I was pregnant, life was just good and happy all the time. I saw every optimistic speckle and enlarged it, in every situation. It was actually pretty marvelous. Thank you awesome pregnancy hormones (I got the better end of things). Postpartum provided pretty much the same thing.
It's been 7.5 months. I now have a beautiful and happy little 7.5 month old daughter. But today, I lost it. And my best friend has moved to Toronto, so I have no one to call late night to cry to...
I love my daughter...but I'm also a big pushover when it comes to my husband. If he is flustered by our life as parents, I am the one to whisk her away so that he can have his own quiet time at home watching his fav shows and sports. He always thinks I should have alone time...but he rarely does anything to instill the comfort in me to leave our daughter with him.
Finances, our relationship, and just the loss of the freedom to do things on a whim and to whatever works for me...they bog me down. And sometimes I feel like if I could just have the freedom to work at whatever I need to, our finances would be better. I hate that JRai doesn't take responsibility and provide financially for our family. Instead he will lay the burden on me telling me I need to work to support our lifestyle.