Nascar

[gagmewithasp00n]

So, my beautifully glorious spring trip to Myrtle Beach turned quite horrible. How? you might ask. Well. It was all going well, we stopped in North Carolina at a delightful place called Smithfield's where Elizabeth and I ate Hushpuppies and the old woman called Elizabeth "darling" or "sweet thing". something to that effect. We arrived late to our hotel and I missed America's Next Top Model. That alone is horrible, but not the worst of my problems. Then, it was so cold there and I only brought one pair of jeans and one sweatshirt...those were repeat offenders...don't worry. The nezt day our "beach and pool time" was replaced with rehearsal time due to the frigid tundra they call Myrtle Beach. We then proceeded to spend 5 whole hours in a mall because it was too cold to go to Broadway at the Beach. It was heinous. However, I did purchase 2 skirts for 18 dollars. Delightful. At the mall, Scott and I ate some bad Chinese and we had to rush up to the ole hotel room because the Chinese was not sitting well... Then, Brandi came to our room and cut my hair. Always prepared with her scissors. Bright and early the next morning we went to Coastal Carolina University to sing. We did well and then left. Good news, by this time it was warm, but there was only like 15 minutes to go to the beach. Elizabeth, Scott and I laid out by the pool next to this man wearing a speedo. He had bleach blond hair and a furry body. It was beautiful. That evening we went to Hard Rock Cafe. I ate the Pig Sandwhich. It was good...for five minutes...too much sauce. After that we went to the Carolina Opry where we were the only people under 65 in the entire audience. However, it was a delight. There was this one dancer/singer who was obviously completely homosexual and I was weak everytime he came out. One time he came out wearing this like purple robe thing and all of a sudden he rips it off and he is wearing these tight pants and an almost belly shirt. Now, you might be saying, Ashley, your trip seems delightful, how could you say it was bad? Oh, just you wait my friend, the real trauma is about to come to light. At approximately 3:00 am saturday morning, I began to call ralph on the big white telephone. That is right folks, I did hurl...a lot. I called my chaperone at approximately 6:30 am and she brought me some sprite. After one sip of that fizzy beverage, I hurled 6 more times. I called my pops and he thought that I might have appendicitis. Then, a whole bunch of chaperones came into my room and decided to take me to the hospital. I felt real bad that Ms Newman and Ms Abshear had to miss the day at Nascar and the Pavillion. So, we went to the hospital where there were only old people and me. It was a delight. I had an IV hooked up and it hurt super bad. I stayed in the hospital for 5 hours and they couldn't decide what was wrong with me. So they gave me 2 bags of IV fluid and two shots. Don't worry, the IV thing came out of my arm and I bled all over myself. It was disgusting. My favorite linen pants are ruined and I had to wear these weird paper pants out of the hospital. It was an awkward situation. I then left the hospital and slept for 4 more hours. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I woke up and felt fine and looked horrible and I walked into the awards ceremony just in time to walk on stage with Mr. Rob to get the Grand Champion trophy. That was pretty fabulous. So that was that. I went home and woke up sunday morning and had to go to the hospital again. I was in severe pain. It's true, I did find out that my intestines were blocked all the way up to my right rib cage. Doesn't feel good. Not going to lie.

So that was that. What a delightful way to end my senior year in chorus. Good times.