(no subject)
I feel like crap. I haven't smoked in a month almost, gave my cigarettes to a friend, and haven't had a problem until this morning. At 2 this morning, after almost winning at Risk, I got really moody and my stress and frustrations overcame me and I went downstairs to have a cigarette. I'm fine now. For those of you who don't know, I don't really smoke regularly. I smoke during finals and during HIGHLY stressful times. Or when I'm really really drunk.
So Lanny. Wow. I miss sleeping over with him and actually being able to sleep. I miss spending a whole day in bed with him watching movies or Family Guy seasons or just talking. I miss him telling me all his stories. I miss going out to parties with him. I miss us being drunk together and busting into Andrew's room. I miss him holding my hand and pulling me down the stairs while running. And I miss his always whispering how he has a crush on me. But I don't miss his bad attitude towards others who don't do what he wants when he's really really drunk. I don't miss his never going to class. I don't miss his persistant/perpetual state of drunkenness. I don't miss worrying about whether, because we weren't having sex, he was out maybe getting some from some other girl. I don't miss lack of ambition in life. I don't miss his lack of respect for important people IN his life. And I don't miss his running his mouth about us.
I am unhappy. I did the right thing. I am not a moron. I KNOW I did the right thing. But sometimes I wish I was a moron and that I didn't do the right thing.
I want to go home. I kind of miss my apartment we were living when we first moved to Tampa. I had a great walk-in closet I used to cry in when I was missing WR, which was ALL the time. I wish I could be in there right now.
So Lanny. Wow. I miss sleeping over with him and actually being able to sleep. I miss spending a whole day in bed with him watching movies or Family Guy seasons or just talking. I miss him telling me all his stories. I miss going out to parties with him. I miss us being drunk together and busting into Andrew's room. I miss him holding my hand and pulling me down the stairs while running. And I miss his always whispering how he has a crush on me. But I don't miss his bad attitude towards others who don't do what he wants when he's really really drunk. I don't miss his never going to class. I don't miss his persistant/perpetual state of drunkenness. I don't miss worrying about whether, because we weren't having sex, he was out maybe getting some from some other girl. I don't miss lack of ambition in life. I don't miss his lack of respect for important people IN his life. And I don't miss his running his mouth about us.
I am unhappy. I did the right thing. I am not a moron. I KNOW I did the right thing. But sometimes I wish I was a moron and that I didn't do the right thing.
I want to go home. I kind of miss my apartment we were living when we first moved to Tampa. I had a great walk-in closet I used to cry in when I was missing WR, which was ALL the time. I wish I could be in there right now.