Earning my knot-tying badge
At the moment I have crush on this film:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-WCCdkVDr4
The way it's filmed, sad and quirky with our outsider hero so misunderstood and good-hearted. When he imagines the emotional fallout of the world after they discover him dead; girls weeping in open fields, reporters asking for answers, whole cities turned upside down in mourning, he comes back as a jedi dropping his hood as a halo of his former self speaking in a whisper only, "I have returned from the dead, but don't ask why, only know that I am back and stronger than ever."
He is detached and singular and odd odd odd, waiting to be known in some way he's never known. We watch him as he awkwardly sets his sights on a girl and then as he sacrifices the better parts of himself to gain her loyalty. She's not worth it we want to yell to him, and even after the lovely montage of their nights frolicking in derelict areas with darkness and cheap fireworks to the music of his father's over-eager "first love" mixed tape, we know that she will only break his heart.
Watching him is painful because he has yet to come into his grace, and his love burns too bright and too quickly. He pays his father no mind when he tells him that on side B of the mixed tape are break up songs in case he ever needs them. And you'll need them eventually he says because it never lasts. The father is right, but the hero has to learn the hard lessons himself.
Watching him is like watching myself as a youth. So eager to define myself in some perfectly unique way; I lived so aggressively back then. But over time you learn to scale down your expectations to budget your heart, to adapt to the disappointment that tries to swallow us whole. After awhile you stop yearning to be, and just be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-WCCdkVDr4
The way it's filmed, sad and quirky with our outsider hero so misunderstood and good-hearted. When he imagines the emotional fallout of the world after they discover him dead; girls weeping in open fields, reporters asking for answers, whole cities turned upside down in mourning, he comes back as a jedi dropping his hood as a halo of his former self speaking in a whisper only, "I have returned from the dead, but don't ask why, only know that I am back and stronger than ever."
He is detached and singular and odd odd odd, waiting to be known in some way he's never known. We watch him as he awkwardly sets his sights on a girl and then as he sacrifices the better parts of himself to gain her loyalty. She's not worth it we want to yell to him, and even after the lovely montage of their nights frolicking in derelict areas with darkness and cheap fireworks to the music of his father's over-eager "first love" mixed tape, we know that she will only break his heart.
Watching him is painful because he has yet to come into his grace, and his love burns too bright and too quickly. He pays his father no mind when he tells him that on side B of the mixed tape are break up songs in case he ever needs them. And you'll need them eventually he says because it never lasts. The father is right, but the hero has to learn the hard lessons himself.
Watching him is like watching myself as a youth. So eager to define myself in some perfectly unique way; I lived so aggressively back then. But over time you learn to scale down your expectations to budget your heart, to adapt to the disappointment that tries to swallow us whole. After awhile you stop yearning to be, and just be.