SPN Stream of Consciousness: Indefinite Hiatus
Hi, ya'll. I have something I need to tell you. And before you ask, no...I haven't seen the premiere yet. Which is kind of the problem.
I love our show, you guys. I really do. I have been there since day one and don't intend to quit until the boys do. But life isn't playing nice with my schedule, my time, and my stress level right now. I really thought I'd be able to keep up my weekly Rambles of a stream of consciousness-style review, but I'm going to have to wave the white flag for now.
October is a tough month for me--for many reasons. It always has been, but ten years ago--heck, even 5 years ago--I was able to push my way through, knowing that I'd come out okay on the other side. Now, though...work has been really rough and though the hubs and Mo Chuisle are fine and healthy, I feel myself wearing thin (metaphorically speaking). Many of you know the drill: persistent insomnia, a general sense of being worn out, basically deciding to be happy instead of just being happy, more often than not. When I realized that this was the week SPN S12 premiered, I nearly burst into tears, knowing that I simply could not add one more thing to my plate and feeling, as I always do, that I was going to be letting people down if I stepped away.
But the bottom line is...I have to. At least for now. I don't know if I'll be able to regularly watch the episodes this season or if I will just group several back-to-back when my schedule permits. And if I can't watch regularly, then my reviews would be intermittent and that just seems...not the way I do things. So, I'm going on hiatus with my reviews this season. I may find myself mid-season with time to write out some thoughts, if you'd care to read them. But I don't want to unfairly plant expectations (if, indeed, there were any) that I'd be here each week to offer thoughts and a gathering spot to discuss as I have been over the last many years.
The great thing is, it's clear by various social media outlets--and by the fact that our Little Show That Could is now in its 12th season--that there are plenty of other gathering places for thought sharing to be had. I won't be depriving you of that. :) But I will miss you guys. Some of you have been constants here since I started posting these regularly in Season 3. I will still be here, still be watching, still be writing, still be around. But when free time is to be had, I'm going to be soaking up moments with Mo Chuisle (who is 10 now...can you believe it??) and enjoying my husband being healthy for now, and writing stories that hit that spot right in the center of me, allowing me to uncoil from the pretzel-twist that my job tends to shape me into.
I look forward to seeing what our boys (who, even in their mid-30s, will always be 'boys' to us) get up to and into and out of. I hope we all enjoy this season as much as the last. And as I said, I may be back around with some thoughts, but until then, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my words, for sharing your thoughts, for engaging in thoughtful and thought-provoking conversation, for just being around and being fabulously, unequivocally you.... jazzyirish, thruterryseyes, apieceofcake, hunenka, jennygeee, iontas, primrose_1, borgmama1of5, shazza85, supernutjapan -- as well as those of you who only read and every single one of you 'anonymous' commenters.
You have offered me light and I hope light fills you. Carry on, ya'll!