"The Outsiders" 2
Justin helps his mom.
By Gaedhal
Chapter 2
July 1979
"Guess what Brian and I did last night?"
Oh, dear, thought Jennifer. She always held her breath whenever her son Justin made a comment like that. She didn't like to think about the kinds of things that Justin did with his boyfriend, Brian. Because it was bound to be something she didn't want to know about. Something to do with their relationship. And with sex.
But Jennifer swallowed hard. "What was that, honey?"
Justin grinned at his mother. "We bought a car!"
"Oh." Jennifer was surprised. "I thought you were going to go with Ronnie to look for a car?"
Justin made a face. He tolerated his mother's new husband, but that didn't mean he had to like him.
"Brian and I are perfectly capable of buying a car without Ron looking over our shoulders!"
Jennifer sighed. "I know you are capable, Justin. I never suggested that you aren't." Justin could be so touchy. But not as touchy as Brian, thank God! "I only thought that Ron was going with you to make certain you boys got a good deal."
"Oh, we got a great deal!" Justin crowed. "It's a 1969 Thunderbird and it's totally cool! The guy who was selling it, Phil, is a hairdresser and he got a new job in New York so he can't take the car. It's in really beautiful condition! He wanted a thousand bucks for it, but Brian sweet-talked him down to $750."
"How did he do that?" asked Jennifer.
Justin laughed. "He took a cue from me! He flirted with the guy. Only a little bit, but that's all it took! Phil was eating out of Brian's hand by the time he got finished with him. It was priceless!"
"I see," said Jennifer. Flirting with the man who was selling the car. What a way to do business! And Justin thought it was great!
It made Jennifer uneasy to know how completely comfortable Justin seemed to be with being gay, especially now that he was living with Brian in the middle of an area of town where a lot of gay men congregated. And he was working at the Liberty Diner, too. That was a notorious hang-out for the gays. Everyone in Pittsburgh knew that! Telling her friends where her son worked was like wearing a big sign: "My son is a queer!"
Jennifer had been down to Liberty Avenue a few times to meet Justin and she'd been shocked at some of the things going on there. Why, she had seen an extremely effeminate man wearing eye make-up in broad daylight! Standing right outside the diner! And when she and Justin had walked by the person said, "Hi, Justin!" like the two of them were old friends!
"I know everyone around here," Justin had explained. "Darren does a drag show at Woody's every Sunday night. He's a nice guy."
Those were the kinds of friends Justin was cultivating. Drag queens! Ex-cons like Brian and the people Justin still wrote to in prison. That Emmett. Even Mrs. Novotny's son, Mikey, was one. It worried Jennifer to distraction. She had tried talking to Ronnie about it, but he always dismissed her fears.
"The boys need to live their own lives, my dear," he'd lectured her. "Justin is never going to live in the suburbs and join the country club, so you had better get used to it. He's gay and he's got his own friends and his own way of doing things. And the sooner you reconcile yourself to that, the happier you'll be."
She tried. She really did. But it was difficult. So very difficult!
And now Justin and Brian were planning a trip down to Florida. That's why they wanted a car. They were going to drive all the way, just the two of them.
That worried her, too.
It was such a long way down to Florida. A long, long drive. Anything could happen on such a trip!
Brian hadn't been out of prison all that long and Jennifer worried that he was having a hard time adjusting to life on the outside. Sometimes Brian was moody and even angry. He'd had a number of loud confrontations with Ronnie and Jennifer was afraid that Brian might become violent one day. What if he lashed out at Justin? What if he hurt her son?
Again, Ron refused to take her concerns seriously.
"Brian is the least violent person I know, Jen," he told her. "I'm more likely to take a fist to someone than Brian. Good God -- Justin is more likely to get physical than Brian! That's not the way Brian deals with things. He internalizes everything. He's more likely to hurt himself than to hurt someone else. And he'd never hurt Justin. Ever. Believe me."
But her new husband's words still hadn't put her mind at ease.
Jennifer turned the car into the driveway of the new house. "Here we are!" Jennifer rang out. "Can you carry in that box in the backseat, honey?"
"Sure, Mom," said Justin as he got out of the car. "Where does this stuff go?"
"The kitchen," she replied. "It's a new set of everyday china."
Slowly but surely they were getting everything in order for the big move. Jennifer could hardly wait! That cramped apartment wasn't nearly big enough for her and Ron and Molly. Ron knew that and had bought her the house as a wedding present. It was just like him! Ronnie was so thoughtful! As soon as she finished redecorating the three of them would be ready to move in.
"I'm getting your things out of storage, Justin," said Jennifer. "But I'd like you look at pictures of the new furniture I'm buying for your room. That old furniture was a mess, so I thought a new bedroom set, a desk, and new shelves would be just the thing."
Justin shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Mom. I'm not going to be living in your new house so I don't know why you're going to all that trouble. If you want to buy new furniture and put my old books on the shelves, that's fine. But I'm not going to move in with you and Molly -- and Ron!"
Jennifer smiled tightly at her son. "I'd never have a home and not include you, sweetheart. You're my son! I want you feel at home in my new house."
Justin carried the box of dishes up to the front door and Jennifer opened it. He followed her into the kitchen. Yes, thought Justin, it's a nice house. But I'm not living here. Especially not with Ron in it!
Justin set the box of china on the counter. "There," he said. "Listen, Mom -- I know you mean well, but I'll never be at home in this house. The only place I'm at home is in our own apartment. Brian's and mine. Or wherever Brian is. Wherever that might be. That's where I live and that's my home. For always. Maybe you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. So why can't you be happy for me? Just a little?"
Jennifer felt like she was going to cry. "I AM happy for you, darling," she lied. "Very, very happy."
Justin smiled and that filled up Jennifer's heart. He was so beautiful! And she desperately wanted him to be happy! He deserved to be happy after all he had been through!
"Good, Mom," Justin replied. "Because I intend to be happy from now on. Happy with Brian."
By Gaedhal
Chapter 2
July 1979
"Guess what Brian and I did last night?"
Oh, dear, thought Jennifer. She always held her breath whenever her son Justin made a comment like that. She didn't like to think about the kinds of things that Justin did with his boyfriend, Brian. Because it was bound to be something she didn't want to know about. Something to do with their relationship. And with sex.
But Jennifer swallowed hard. "What was that, honey?"
Justin grinned at his mother. "We bought a car!"
"Oh." Jennifer was surprised. "I thought you were going to go with Ronnie to look for a car?"
Justin made a face. He tolerated his mother's new husband, but that didn't mean he had to like him.
"Brian and I are perfectly capable of buying a car without Ron looking over our shoulders!"
Jennifer sighed. "I know you are capable, Justin. I never suggested that you aren't." Justin could be so touchy. But not as touchy as Brian, thank God! "I only thought that Ron was going with you to make certain you boys got a good deal."
"Oh, we got a great deal!" Justin crowed. "It's a 1969 Thunderbird and it's totally cool! The guy who was selling it, Phil, is a hairdresser and he got a new job in New York so he can't take the car. It's in really beautiful condition! He wanted a thousand bucks for it, but Brian sweet-talked him down to $750."
"How did he do that?" asked Jennifer.
Justin laughed. "He took a cue from me! He flirted with the guy. Only a little bit, but that's all it took! Phil was eating out of Brian's hand by the time he got finished with him. It was priceless!"
"I see," said Jennifer. Flirting with the man who was selling the car. What a way to do business! And Justin thought it was great!
It made Jennifer uneasy to know how completely comfortable Justin seemed to be with being gay, especially now that he was living with Brian in the middle of an area of town where a lot of gay men congregated. And he was working at the Liberty Diner, too. That was a notorious hang-out for the gays. Everyone in Pittsburgh knew that! Telling her friends where her son worked was like wearing a big sign: "My son is a queer!"
Jennifer had been down to Liberty Avenue a few times to meet Justin and she'd been shocked at some of the things going on there. Why, she had seen an extremely effeminate man wearing eye make-up in broad daylight! Standing right outside the diner! And when she and Justin had walked by the person said, "Hi, Justin!" like the two of them were old friends!
"I know everyone around here," Justin had explained. "Darren does a drag show at Woody's every Sunday night. He's a nice guy."
Those were the kinds of friends Justin was cultivating. Drag queens! Ex-cons like Brian and the people Justin still wrote to in prison. That Emmett. Even Mrs. Novotny's son, Mikey, was one. It worried Jennifer to distraction. She had tried talking to Ronnie about it, but he always dismissed her fears.
"The boys need to live their own lives, my dear," he'd lectured her. "Justin is never going to live in the suburbs and join the country club, so you had better get used to it. He's gay and he's got his own friends and his own way of doing things. And the sooner you reconcile yourself to that, the happier you'll be."
She tried. She really did. But it was difficult. So very difficult!
And now Justin and Brian were planning a trip down to Florida. That's why they wanted a car. They were going to drive all the way, just the two of them.
That worried her, too.
It was such a long way down to Florida. A long, long drive. Anything could happen on such a trip!
Brian hadn't been out of prison all that long and Jennifer worried that he was having a hard time adjusting to life on the outside. Sometimes Brian was moody and even angry. He'd had a number of loud confrontations with Ronnie and Jennifer was afraid that Brian might become violent one day. What if he lashed out at Justin? What if he hurt her son?
Again, Ron refused to take her concerns seriously.
"Brian is the least violent person I know, Jen," he told her. "I'm more likely to take a fist to someone than Brian. Good God -- Justin is more likely to get physical than Brian! That's not the way Brian deals with things. He internalizes everything. He's more likely to hurt himself than to hurt someone else. And he'd never hurt Justin. Ever. Believe me."
But her new husband's words still hadn't put her mind at ease.
Jennifer turned the car into the driveway of the new house. "Here we are!" Jennifer rang out. "Can you carry in that box in the backseat, honey?"
"Sure, Mom," said Justin as he got out of the car. "Where does this stuff go?"
"The kitchen," she replied. "It's a new set of everyday china."
Slowly but surely they were getting everything in order for the big move. Jennifer could hardly wait! That cramped apartment wasn't nearly big enough for her and Ron and Molly. Ron knew that and had bought her the house as a wedding present. It was just like him! Ronnie was so thoughtful! As soon as she finished redecorating the three of them would be ready to move in.
"I'm getting your things out of storage, Justin," said Jennifer. "But I'd like you look at pictures of the new furniture I'm buying for your room. That old furniture was a mess, so I thought a new bedroom set, a desk, and new shelves would be just the thing."
Justin shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Mom. I'm not going to be living in your new house so I don't know why you're going to all that trouble. If you want to buy new furniture and put my old books on the shelves, that's fine. But I'm not going to move in with you and Molly -- and Ron!"
Jennifer smiled tightly at her son. "I'd never have a home and not include you, sweetheart. You're my son! I want you feel at home in my new house."
Justin carried the box of dishes up to the front door and Jennifer opened it. He followed her into the kitchen. Yes, thought Justin, it's a nice house. But I'm not living here. Especially not with Ron in it!
Justin set the box of china on the counter. "There," he said. "Listen, Mom -- I know you mean well, but I'll never be at home in this house. The only place I'm at home is in our own apartment. Brian's and mine. Or wherever Brian is. Wherever that might be. That's where I live and that's my home. For always. Maybe you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. So why can't you be happy for me? Just a little?"
Jennifer felt like she was going to cry. "I AM happy for you, darling," she lied. "Very, very happy."
Justin smiled and that filled up Jennifer's heart. He was so beautiful! And she desperately wanted him to be happy! He deserved to be happy after all he had been through!
"Good, Mom," Justin replied. "Because I intend to be happy from now on. Happy with Brian."