(no subject)
God, I've really got to start keeping in touch with old friends more.
I'm absolutely horrible about keeping up with people... and I promise its not because I don't care about them -- I do want to know! I've just always been very socially nervous. I was rarely the person to plan an event, but I always went when invited. And when no one else is doing the inviting... then I have a really hard time picking up the slack.
I guess what instigated this is that I got an email from Judith -- and I think she was joking, but she chastized me for not calling her when I've been in tulsa. Granted, I've literally been to Tulsa twice in the last year and each time was a 36 hour event in which I was busy with whatever I came to town for the entire time... but still, I should call and/or visit my friends. I haven't seen Judith since last year at Katie's house, and I dont think I've seen Cindy once since we went to Vegas after we graduated. Judith also mentioned that she'd already talked to some other friends of ours about something she was emailing me about... and it just struck me... what am I missing by not staying involved? Why do all of my old friends seem to see each other so much and stay in touch so well, and I don't? I guess I know why.
I did hurt a little to see myself kind of drift out of that core high school group during college. I rationalized that people tend to drift apart in college, which they do... but I do know that it was my fault too. Well, there were other factors involved there. I was out of town every weekend visiting Gene (why is it that boys are always in the fucking way of my friendships? I guess I choose them over friends... which I definitely regret in high school, and I think it was a necessary but regrettable evil in college). Plus, on the weekends and gatherings that I *was* around for, there was someone who made it obvious (to me at least) that he would rather me not be around.
My mom always told me that you'll never have friends like you had in high school ever again. I guess she's right. Things were so simple back then... they're not anymore.
Okay, this is getting too personal for an online journal. :P
I'm absolutely horrible about keeping up with people... and I promise its not because I don't care about them -- I do want to know! I've just always been very socially nervous. I was rarely the person to plan an event, but I always went when invited. And when no one else is doing the inviting... then I have a really hard time picking up the slack.
I guess what instigated this is that I got an email from Judith -- and I think she was joking, but she chastized me for not calling her when I've been in tulsa. Granted, I've literally been to Tulsa twice in the last year and each time was a 36 hour event in which I was busy with whatever I came to town for the entire time... but still, I should call and/or visit my friends. I haven't seen Judith since last year at Katie's house, and I dont think I've seen Cindy once since we went to Vegas after we graduated. Judith also mentioned that she'd already talked to some other friends of ours about something she was emailing me about... and it just struck me... what am I missing by not staying involved? Why do all of my old friends seem to see each other so much and stay in touch so well, and I don't? I guess I know why.
I did hurt a little to see myself kind of drift out of that core high school group during college. I rationalized that people tend to drift apart in college, which they do... but I do know that it was my fault too. Well, there were other factors involved there. I was out of town every weekend visiting Gene (why is it that boys are always in the fucking way of my friendships? I guess I choose them over friends... which I definitely regret in high school, and I think it was a necessary but regrettable evil in college). Plus, on the weekends and gatherings that I *was* around for, there was someone who made it obvious (to me at least) that he would rather me not be around.
My mom always told me that you'll never have friends like you had in high school ever again. I guess she's right. Things were so simple back then... they're not anymore.
Okay, this is getting too personal for an online journal. :P